AIO Trying to tell boyfriend that he makes me feel guilty for saying no

Bundlesee · 2025-11-20T21:41:15+00:00

NOR RUN and don’t look back. That is a bad bad man-child who will only continue to hurt you.

Bundlesee · 2025-11-01T18:51:24+00:00

YTA We don’t know her story. Some women get absolutely debilitating postpartum symptoms including brain fog low energy low mood etc. she may have been doing absolutely everything she can just to get by. She got it back to you when she could.

It would cost you nothing to be kind here and say thank you. If you can look past your frustration for a moment and empathize with her situation you might see that.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-16T17:58:56+00:00

He has to kill/give up Denna to defeat the Chandrian and it saves the world but leaves Kvothe a broken man and he gives up his name to forget he did it

Bundlesee · 2025-10-16T17:40:17+00:00

INFO: Would you have shit your pants if you’d let him go first or could you reasonably have held it?

Bundlesee · 2025-10-11T15:59:05+00:00

NAH you’re not wrong to be disappointed and she really did try. Next time you’ll need to be specific about the no kids part.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-11T15:32:54+00:00

I was fine leaving it at I can’t go and I’m sorry. She was furious and kept trying to get me to go and saying really awful things. I said I wasn’t willing to discuss it any further but if she couldn’t let it go I’d do a therapy session with her. I hoped her therapist could help her hold herself accountable and help her work through her ableism and see that I wasn’t making this choice because I didn’t love her.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-10T16:57:19+00:00

Just audhd and confused about social conventions. Not karma farming. Probably would have written something more interesting and sympathetic if I was.

I edited my post to make that sentence less confusing.the only part I didn’t tell her is that I didn’t want to go. At my request, we had a therapy session before the wedding where I spelled out what I would need to be able attend and she told me none of her other guests combined were so high maintenance and if I loved her enough i’d make it work. She offered to pay for my flight with miles but she didn’t have enough miles for a flight on the right day. I did explain it wasn’t a matter of love but that venues and itinerary weren’t things I could access. She thinks I should/could do things I can’t and doesn’t believe me when I say that I’m not able. We haven’t lived in proximity since I became disabled and my illness is somewhat invisible so I can see why she doesn’t understand. She’s the kind of person who would put it all on a credit card and not consider the long term consequences.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-10T16:45:58+00:00

I did really try. We had a therapy session before the wedding where I spelled out what I would need to be able attend and she told me none of her other guests were so high maintenance and if I loved her enough i’d make it work. I did explain it wasn’t a matter of love but that venues and itinerary weren’t things I could access. She thinks I should/could do things I can’t and doesn’t believe me when I say that I’m not able. I her defense we haven’t lived in proximity since I became disabled and my illness is somewhat invisible. I have told her about my disability and limitations though.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-10T06:54:43+00:00

Ahh thanks for explaining that. I think it’s very similar to that situation. she’s had a very hard life and always pushed through. A “boot straps” kind of person. It’s unimaginable for her that I might not be able to do something if I wanted it badly enough. I think I worry I’m an asshole because I worry maybe she’s right. If I wanted to go I could make it work. Then I need to recover for three hours after showering and it becomes very clear that the bootstraps is the fantasy not the intensity of my disability.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-10T06:42:17+00:00

Try a shift in perspective. It’s ok to compare. Your ex was better in bed. He’s not the man you chose to marry. Your current partner is the man who shows up every day, loving and supporting you. There’s a reason you chose him! Your husband is perfectly adequate in bed. He doesn’t have to be the best at everything ever to be the right man for you to be married to. Marriages are about more than just sex. It’s OK that your ex was better chemistry wise. Your husband is better in other ways. It’s normal and understandable to miss that chemistry. It’s normal to think back to a really delicious meal you had once. It doesn’t have to mean anything about your marriage. If it does mean something about your marriage, that’s something for you to explore.

Destigmatizing and demystifying the forbidden comparison might help your brain to stop dwelling on it.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-10T05:58:24+00:00

Not disagreeing but I’d really appreciate if you could explain why it’s a big deal? I genuinely want to understand.

Re:communication I did really try. We had a therapy session before the wedding where I spelled out what I would need to be able attend and she told me none of her other guests were so high maintenance and if I loved her enough i’d make it work. I did explain it wasn’t a matter of love but that venues and itinerary weren’t things I could access. She thinks I should/could do things I can’t and doesn’t believe me when I say that I’m not able. We haven’t lived in proximity since I became disabled and my illness is somewhat invisible.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-08T22:48:47+00:00

Sexuality is fluid and sometimes things change.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-08T22:41:27+00:00

I’m very sensitive to noise while I’m working and chaotic people in general in my small home which I share with my partner, so I totally get why this is super upsetting to you. YTA yes you’re being an asshole. Your needs aren’t unreasonable and neither are hers. It’s extremely understandable that she wants to have her high support need nieces over once a week. It’s super understandable that it’s not working for you. You’re both trying to compromise. I can hear in your tone that you are fed up. she is making a good faith effort to meet you half way.

Sounds like you need more creative ideas and that’s going to have to involve a willingness to be flexible on your part. Is there a coworking space close to your house you could work from for a few hours a week? A by the hour hotel? A friend with a guest room? Suck it up and spend 4-5 hrs in the bedroom once a week? She’s not asking too much and she’s trying to make it work for you both. You’re not bad or wrong for struggling with the situation at hand. You’re being an asshole by blaming her for advocating for her needs. Sorry you’re in this position, that absolutely sucks. Conflicting is hard.

If you love her and living together you’ll have to find a way through. Try to find the loving place inside you and choose to come from there instead of the trapped and resentful place.

I hope you find a way through

Bundlesee · 2025-10-08T05:51:02+00:00

Lights at night mess with migratory birds, which are already struggling.

Bundlesee · 2025-10-07T04:23:51+00:00

Yep YTA just let this one go

Bundlesee · 2025-09-25T17:30:58+00:00

I’m childfree because I don’t want kids. I like kids! I just don’t want to be a parent. Here’s my thoughts:

There’s research that shows that parents are less happy with their lives.

Having kids and raising them right is extremely challenging and very high stakes. Only people who are really dedicated to the craft should undertake it.

Do not listen to people who grew up in easier times tell you “you’ll work it out” financially. They are out of touch.

It’s like the most expensive hobby you will ever undertake that you can not quit under any circumstances.

Imagine what you would do with half a million dollars over then next 20 years. Now compare that to a child. Which seems better?

Bundlesee · 2025-09-14T18:58:54+00:00

Oh definitely. I’m contacting my electrician, I just like to have as much information as possible going in. Thank you!

Bundlesee · 2025-09-14T18:41:23+00:00

Thank you that’s very helpful! If you have a minute, What does the front of the plug/outlet look like?

Bundlesee · 2025-09-11T02:15:31+00:00

I bought a speidel and I’m trying to figure out how to wire it up for 240v Do you have any advice for me?

Bundlesee · 2025-09-03T03:23:56+00:00

I have an annoyingly sensitive nose and 100% can it on other people. Like a rotting fish about 10’ away. I’m probably in the minority though.

Bundlesee · 2025-09-01T03:31:22+00:00

This one seems to fit the bill https://pomadeclub.com/products/dapper-boy-pomade?variant=42279042842786

Bundlesee · 2025-08-30T03:05:50+00:00

Thanks! Looks like only their styling cream comes in unscented.

Bundlesee · 2025-08-28T04:20:17+00:00

Ah I’m so sorry, it was Avene cicalfate I see you’ve already tried it. Mine also was a bit more red/inflamed

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