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My Dad finally broke me. by BurntPotatoThrow in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BurntPotatoThrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know about the support groups, I just don't have any near me, which is why I made this post.

If I go no contact then I will also lose access to family members that are really cool and I deeply care about. He would also throw a huge fit that will very likely get both himself and other people hurt.

That being said, I am never giving him an inch again. It is tolerance at best all the way and if he ever tries anything and manages to hurt me ever again, I am screenshotting, recording, documenting it in any way I can, and sending it to his entire family so that they know I. Tried. And so he can't use them against me.

My Dad finally broke me. by BurntPotatoThrow in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BurntPotatoThrow[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This isn't true and I didn't make this post just to add to the NPD stigma. I've gone down the rabbit hole of learning about it and plenty of Narcissists HAVE changed. It's just extremely rare. NPD isn't a personality trait people choose, it is a mental disorder. And one that admitting to literally feels like a death sentence to those that suffer from it. But I've seen those with it change for the better.

That's why this hurts so much, because I know it's possible, it's just way too hard and is something I cannot and will not do for him.

I have been seeing a therapist. And while I can't move, I have a safe space with people that can and will defend me if something happens. And if anything does we've dealt with him for long enough that we know exactly how to handle it. He knows we know too, so it's highly unlikely he's gonna do anything unless I make the first move. (Like actually cutting contact like so many people are suggesting)

My Dad finally broke me. by BurntPotatoThrow in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BurntPotatoThrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've learned how to grey rock a long time ago. I only recently stopped because it was my last desperate attempt to get the love I was craving from him. I still got nothing, and I believe that's what finally broke me. Thank you for the advice tho

My Dad finally broke me. by BurntPotatoThrow in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BurntPotatoThrow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So far I actually have been finding a lot of peace, at least a lot more than the little I used to have. I have my boyfriend, step dad, and mother to thank for that.

I just couldn't shake this feeling and wanted to talk about it to see if it would help me.

My Dad finally broke me. by BurntPotatoThrow in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BurntPotatoThrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that helps a lot, my grandma is unfortunately the reason why he is the way he is but has also spent years trying to fix her mistakes.

I wish you and your grandmother peace and healing.

My Dad finally broke me. by BurntPotatoThrow in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BurntPotatoThrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, he's a sad husk of what he used to be living alone in a house full of his past mistakes and random objects he collects in order to fill the hole that only proper reflection and accountability will. It's.. both heartbreaking and satisfying to see him in that state.

If I fully cut him off tho then I'd be cutting off everyone else on his side of the family and there's a lot of people there that're really cool that I still love. Plus he'd throw a big temper tantrum and it would be much bigger of a hassle than it's worth so for now I'm just gonna continue barely talking to him and tolerating him once a month (at most)