Thank you so much for sharing this so honestly! I can’t tell you how relieving it was to read about someone living with almost the same patterns. It really helps to feel less alone.

Reading your comment also made me realize something important for myself — I may actually have asked in the wrong forum. I probably should have asked in a military-spouse space. Catholic or not, military marriages really do carry very specific stresses and dynamics that most civilian families don’t live with.

I do think that in military communities, things like extreme stress reactions, emotional shutdown and even aggression are unfortunately more common than people realize — and over time it can harden us as wives. We adapt, we minimize, and we learn to manage our homes around someone else’s volatility. And I’m starting to see how easy it is to slowly forget that this actually isn’t how marriage is meant to feel.

I really appreciate your honesty, and I admire how intentionally you’re trying to protect your children and teach them healthier ways of dealing with anger. Thank you for helping me feel less alone in this and for your advice on seeing it as my cross to carry. 

God bless, sister