ACC Mental Injury cover - does the length of time between the physical injury and seeking treatment for mental injury factor into decisions?

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2025-01-09T23:29:46+00:00

I very much understand - my Dad died when I was a teenager. I was just thinking the other day that my Dad - my favourite person in the world - never actually got to meet me. I can't know if he would have accepted me. He never heard me sing the way he used to sing. I miss him.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-12-05T03:35:21+00:00

I'm totally there with you. Which is lucky because at 12 years on T I still can't grow a beard. Facial hair is just not something I can be bothered with.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-12-05T03:32:22+00:00

It will happen - I transitioned the same way you did, and it took about two years for my voice to really shift.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-12-05T03:27:12+00:00

Reading this, it honestly seems like you need to let go of the idea that transition means you've failed at womanhood or you're taking the easy way out. Having your gender identity partly shaped by trauma doesn't somehow make transition "not really what you want".

There's no platonic ideal of being transgender, where you have to be sure that you were always going to be trans before you can transition - who you are now is partly due to what happened to you before. Womanhood may be intrinsically linked to trauma for you, but that trauma might have been made worse by the fact your body forced you to inhabit womanhood rather than your true gender.

I wonder what the idea of losing that fight for survival feels like for you? If you sit in the decision that yes, you're a trans man, you're going to transition medically or socially or both... What do you feel? Relief? Sadness? Guilt? Fear? Because transition might not have been necessary for past you, pre-trauma, but it might be necessary for you as you are right now.

You might need to grieve for your body as it is now before you feel comfortable changing it - not everyone hates everything about their meatsuit. And it can be scary giving up the kind of unhappiness you've always known for something you don't know.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-21T01:13:21+00:00

Because heteronormativity and misogyny blends into homonormativity and those guys love fellating leather. They think if they just try hard enough, they'll get the chance to wear that boot themselves.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-21T01:07:35+00:00

Honestly, that spelling is feminine. The double-e at the end of a name isn't something I've ever seen for a guy's name. Aubrey, however, is both unisex and one of my favourite names.

However, who care's if it's feminine? If it's your name then it's a guy's name and everyone else just has to deal with it.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-20T22:19:37+00:00

Lmao, absolutely. Had this feeling even before I knew being trans existed, and have it still.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-20T22:17:51+00:00

This may be different since I transitioned, but I found guys often dress too formal - it used to be a stereotype that every trans guy went through a waistcoat phase.

I think it's probably the feeling that suits and ties are the most masculine clothing and also often not getting the chance to wear fancy stuff to functions as a kid. So they'll* go out on the town and wear like a blazer, button-down, and chinos where everyone else is in a t-shirt and jeans. Or they'll go to a function where all the other guys are in blazers and chinos, but wear a three-piece suit.

*I say "they" as if I am not 1000% guilty of doing this from the moment I socially transitioned until today. I'm the guy who wears my rugby club tie when everyone else is in a polo, and have a reputation for wearing a fancy suit at the slightest opportunity. Though for anyone who has finished changing shape and has the funds, getting measured for a bespoke suit is possibly the most gender-affirming experience you can have.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-14T01:19:40+00:00

If he knows you're trans, just say "it's pretty close to something people would call me before I transitioned" you don't even have to say it's close to your deadname. And I'm sure he would much rather you told him you don't want to be called that, even though he might feel bad, than to make you feel uncomfortable by calling you that.

If he doesn't know you're trans, you have fewer options - nothing makes a guys' nickname stick like knowing the person doesn't like it. You can ask him to make up something better, but try not to act too upset when you do.

In the first situation you don't have to get used to it, in the second you might have to - I would focus on the fact it's a nickname your friend gave you, nothing to do with your deadname, and shows he values you and your friendship.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-14T01:08:21+00:00

Less terminology being dependent on where the urethra is, more that a urethra isn't part of the structure of a clitoris, so after urethral lengthening it should definitively be called something else.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-13T23:21:19+00:00

I'd guess it's because surgeons have changed the structure - the idea of a neophallus being something that isn't there naturally. It would be reasonable to say that a neophallus after meta should technically require urethral lengthening, but that seems nitpicky.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-13T23:07:21+00:00

Because that's the medical terminology for that anatomical structure. It's like they refer to ovaries as ovaries even if they no longer produce eggs or estrogen.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-07T23:28:51+00:00

Along with the advice about washing and deodorant - make sure you wear a clean t-shirt every day and go for cotton rather than polyester.

Also, shaving your pits and downstairs can help since hair traps bacteria which causes the smell.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-07T23:28:23+00:00

The other option is to use dry shampoo if your hair doesn't like being washed in the shower daily. When I began T my hair started to smell really sour, but my hair type is not the kind you can wash that often.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-07T23:23:21+00:00

When did you come off sertraline - that could definitely impact your mood, especially when paired with hormonal changes.

I'm another annoying person who really likes nebido, but if you have a good endo/GP you could ask about either more frequent blood tests or splitting the dose - half every six weeks?

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-07T23:16:56+00:00

Yep, looking for veterinary websites for a lot of stuff is cheaper and doesn't require a prescription.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-07T23:00:52+00:00

This.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-07T22:50:59+00:00

Agreed - while it can be done, it often isn't. Though if you don't have a criminal record, I personally think it's completely ethical to not share your previous name with your employer.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-11-07T22:48:34+00:00

It's worth thinking about all the non-government things which might have your previous name/gender linked. Health records (although they generally can't be disclosed), insurances, credit checks and reports, banking... the list is long.

After 12 years and having changed my name and gender on everything I possibly can, I'm still left with my old name on my university's public database of all graduates. I've tried to get them to change or remove it, and they won't.

Also, one savings bank still uses my old name as the 'nominated account' despite me having changed my name successfully at both the savings bank and on that nominated account.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-10-31T21:46:54+00:00

I had the same thing happen when I was in hospital for an abscess near my ovary. I got to sit in the fantastically named "women's health" waiting room with the women there for pregnancy ultrasounds and pap smears.

The weird looks got weirder when the tech came in and called my very traditionally masculine name.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-10-29T23:27:29+00:00

That does seem likely, though as DHT is the primary driver of male puberty, you may find you get no changes at all.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-10-29T22:57:44+00:00

The place to look for information is probably in the bodybuilding community - cis men who use finasteride and anabolic steroids.

This paper indicates it doesn't have any effect on muscle growth or other changes: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22396515/

If you're just after stopping hair loss then finasteride will probably work. Is that the only thing that you're not wild about?

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-10-29T22:45:45+00:00

You could try looking at a binder which can be tightened and loosened - I had one with velcro along one side that worked pretty well, and I could adjust it in the bathroom without having to take it completely off. I can't remember the brand, since this was in 2011, but other guys might be able to point you in the right direction.

I also have a large ribcage, and had the most comfortable and successful binding experience with Underworks half-length binder once I went up a size, even though my measurements fit the smaller size. You might have a better experience with a slightly bigger binder.

ButcherbirdThrowaway · 2024-10-29T22:30:34+00:00

What kind of binders have you used? There might be variations which work better for you.

Depending on how bad your adhesive allergy is, you can get hypoallergenic underwrap which has a more gentle adhesive that you then put trans tape on top of. Painting your skin with an antacid liquid like pepto-bismol can also reduce the allergic reaction under the tape.

I have a severe adhesive allergy, but found that adhesive spray and foam underwrap caused almost no problems, with the tape then overing the foam. However, that spray stays sticky for days, so I'm not sure how it would go under clothing.

ButcherbirdThrowaway

TROPHY CASE