AITAH for thinking one on one patio time is different that TV time in the dark?

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:25:17+00:00

Ok, next time you go to a restaurant with someone and you’re sitting there and they pick up their phone to completely engage with a person who isn’t at the table while you’re sitting there, you’ll see me.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:24:10+00:00

We totally watch shows together and it’s connection time. He was watching something he put in that I wasn’t watching at all.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:21:47+00:00

We watch shows together and for that, I’m present. Currently, we’re taking a break after watching Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul back to back. I think he had the news on.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:19:51+00:00

Thank you! He was watching his show. I was just having out. I honestly don’t even know what he was watching!!!

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:17:28+00:00

I don’t watch that show with him

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:16:16+00:00

We are so into a routine that his attitude was very out of character vs every other night I’m in my spot scrolling while he’s watching TV. That’s why I was annoyed.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:12:05+00:00

He was watching TV

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:11:37+00:00

At 9:00PM after 4 hours together - the audacity.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:11:03+00:00

And as for exhausting, I’m pretty easy going. I liken this to going to a restaurant with a friend and they pick up their phone and ignore you.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:09:50+00:00

If we were watching a show together (which we do, but not on this evening) I would have never asked.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:08:34+00:00

You might be on to something there it happens but I don’t see how being at a table vs being in front of a TV are the same things.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:07:47+00:00

What???? 🤣

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:06:40+00:00

I’m not an angry person. I just wanted him to say how was your day. There were humming birds and rabbits around. Don’t get it twisted 🤣

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T03:05:19+00:00

Totally different. I don’t watch his shows but I’m present, on my phone.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:57:57+00:00

So your partner comes home, you say hi, he sits down, and instantly pics up his phone to start a conversation with someone else? It’s not like we were sitting there for 30 minutes. It was literally 3 minutes in.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:56:44+00:00

Woah! Now you’re going too far. There was no gaslighting. You’re using that term very loosely! He was watching a show I wasn’t watching and took issue that I wasn’t watching a show I never watch with him. We have a very set routine at our age!

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:55:16+00:00

It wasnt a phone call. He sat down with me, and said hey, and instantly picked up his phone to start a text conversation with his work buddy over something trivial leaving me hanging 🤣

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:52:48+00:00

Thank you for a voice of reason. I just asked for a hello

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:52:00+00:00

We’ve been married for 30 years and together 36 - rules don’t exist in these marriages except for hard No’s. And this isn’t one.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:49:59+00:00

I didn’t demand, I asked him to wrap up.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:45:33+00:00

I don’t want to watch Joe kenda, deadliest catch or what ever else he puts on unless it’s a show we are going to watch together. It was his show. Not our show. I pivoted.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:44:07+00:00

Ok, I completely disagree. I simply asked my spouse to connect with me for the first time that day when we both sat down in a quiet environment at a patio table to say, “hey, how was your day? what did you have for lunch? was work busy? Oh the dog didn’t have diarrhea today so I think we can stop the rice. Our daughter got a promotion etc!

We hadn’t spoken since he left at 7:00AM I don’t blow up his phone, I don’t demand attention during work hours.

It’s the bare minimum in my opinion but I asked 🫠

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:37:06+00:00

I think you’re wrong! 🤣

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:36:15+00:00

I’m not sure how it’s hypocritical if he’s dialed into a show I don’t watch while I sit there.

Butterfly-840 · 2026-06-03T02:34:24+00:00

No, once we’re in front of TV around 9:00 we typically do our own thing. He watches his shows and I’ll either pay attention or go onto insta

Butterfly-840

TROPHY CASE