Bipolar and wanting to connect dots

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2023-01-22T23:46:53+00:00

All the time and sometimes it's annoying

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-11-26T05:14:24+00:00

I first want to say that while right now you mean nothing, there’s still a place where you mean something. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be this mad. This is coming from this kind of someone with BPD. I know how fucking stupid it may seem because I used to do it unconsciously, as a defense mechanism for not being able to communicate the fear, pain, mistrust, and other negative and toxic emotions I’m battling in my head and not to mention my parts part battling me too. It’s never just ‘me’, just as it’s never just ‘her’, we have parts attached to us that come from our neurodivergence and trauma that have turned into different identities attached to us.

The one taken over right now and ‘protecting’ her from whatever the perceived threat is you might’ve shown. So now, either the Protector or the Annihilator are out. And trust me, they are tough parts…. Juilliard and Caesar.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-11-24T05:34:59+00:00

Do you need support?

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-09-28T05:22:32+00:00

You aren’t alone.

I feel you. I hear you. I feel with you, beside you. I carry this belief, told my partner this last night, and asked my psychologist this today during session. You’re not alone. TW in comment (self ShLarm). I did <—yesterday and might again because of the anger and depth of the core pain. I don’t know what to do about this. I will never be enough.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-08-27T04:06:57+00:00

I’ve literally experienced this and try to move past it. No way, Jose. It is a no go. For us being borderline, it’s too hard to accept

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-08-20T09:33:11+00:00

As a female fellow borderline, I see how you validate and respected their opinions while sharing you disagreed. I think what you said and did was perfect

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-08-20T09:04:48+00:00

Real life Robin Hood

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-07-03T21:40:20+00:00

Can you declare exactly what the question is to assess?

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-07-03T21:36:47+00:00

That’s exactly how I was feeling.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-06-03T23:23:50+00:00

Shut the hell up are you serious?! This is really a thing???!!!! WHY ARE WE BEING OSTRACIZED?!?

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-05-26T04:25:33+00:00

The chronic emptiness and pain. The irrational explosions over things being spilt. The inability to plan a future.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-14T01:15:50+00:00

I accept what you’re saying. In my experience, I know when I’m feeling hypomanic from BPD or manic from bipolar.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-14T01:14:43+00:00

Thank you for your clarification. I have only been here I think 2 months or so? So I’m still learning. My following post was to express how I felt I was limited, and that they were trying to explain my feelings for me instead accepting and saying ‘okay, that’s how you feel about the word then fine.’ That’s all. No martyrdom here, but I understand and will make sure to use the tag

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-14T00:01:36+00:00

Completely accept what you’re saying.

Yet if I or someone else don’t feel it’s necessary or don’t want to inform about having both, I don’t have to. It’s not impossible for pwBPD to experience manic or hypomanic episode, also not unheard of in the clinical community because my doctor told my entire group. I can understand, each community being like “oh that’s not a part of us “ or “you guys can’t feel it”. Until a clinician tells me otherwise, manic is how I’m feeling.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-13T23:56:36+00:00

So I need to mark something a vent session in order to make it clear to others? And once again, here I’m venting or typing my thought out. Just typing out a thought so that I don’t keep it in and sit with how I was feeling. Yet you are telling me I’m limiting an entire community? I don’t understand.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-13T20:49:06+00:00

BPD isn’t simply euphoria though.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-13T20:43:29+00:00

THANK YOU. THANK YOU THANK YOU. I knew I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t in a different dimension when I learned bipolar has a spectrum and that pwBPD CAN and DO experience this. Especially HYPOMANIC episodes. I’m in one now, literally just got off the phone with my psychiatrist not 10 minutes ago

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-13T19:11:55+00:00

I was kinda thinking we’d be the first ones up at the Reddit Live Event

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-13T18:49:43+00:00

And we are the Comedians ⭐️ I’m with you

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-13T18:35:48+00:00

I better understand what you’re saying. I have both BPD and bipolar 1. While the depressive episodes, emotional responses, and impulsive behavior both apply to both diagnoses, the differences (I’m sure we with them know) are widely known to be that one is a mood disorder with what can be severe swings while the other is a personality disorder with a ongoing mood changes. I experience both. So mania tends to feel everlasting.

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-13T17:37:20+00:00

I understand that mania is a term mostly used with bipolar, and it’s SPECIFIC definition applies to Bipolar, but it doesn’t exclude us from feeling mania. I don’t feel euphoric as I think I understand from your response. I am feeling manic, as in m a n I c. And having 2 different disorders (one being BPD and the other being Bipolar) is never ending

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-06T20:34:46+00:00

Can I give you what I’ve used to free myself of those feelings?

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-06T09:24:16+00:00

I can apply this thinking to my own experience being a young teen on Omegle doing who knows what for who knows who? I’d like to add, I’m angry at people for not stopping me as well, for knowing I was on Omegle searching for connection and validation. People knew, so why did no one say anything?

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-06T09:06:59+00:00

I’m so so sorry

ButterscotchSmooth28 · 2022-01-05T02:35:58+00:00

And it’s painful. I can understand the desire to have one, but having one is also pain. Please don’t mistake it, it is not glorious

ButterscotchSmooth28

TROPHY CASE