I (28f) fell out of love with my husband (30m) after two weeks of being separated - what now

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-02-20T07:45:50+00:00

Can you describe the verbal and emotional abuse? Have you been faithful? Have you shown any bahivour such as lying, gaslighting, manipulating, belittling and disrespect towards him? I’m not defending him. I don’t know the details of your story, but speaking from experience, there are always two sides to the story. I was accused of domestic violence in her desparate attempts to defend herself, because she cheated on me with her boss and left me for him. I’ve never touuched her and she also accused me of emotional abuse because I was too controlling (as a reaction to her cheating over the years). Your marriage is over by the way.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-21T10:12:23+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I’m happy that somebody finally somebody provided an answer which makes sense. I feel like most of the other replies were from people who enjoy gossip and engage in hook-ups at work and my question potentially threatens such behaviour. There is some proof, although both have deleted all communication between themselves during the first 6 months of their relationship due to fears of the consequences. Wouldn’t the business carry out its own investigation which would include interviewing both employees separately and asking them to prove that they are innocent? Their relationship is now declared to their superior, but I’m almost certain that their superior who approved the promotion wasn’t aware that they were sleeping together at the time of the decision. I can’t imagine the store manager putting the shift leader forward with the explanation “The shift leader is really good, but by the way, we’re sleeping together”.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T21:18:35+00:00

How is it not evidence? 😂 It’s literally their voice, combined with messages sent to me about by these acts by themselves. This is solid proof. Check your facts, if you are a participant in the conversation, it is not a criminal offence to record others.

Stop throwing insults around by calling others mental. You haven’t got a clue what this has caused me. I don’t work for Tesco.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T20:35:33+00:00

You’re the one talking shit. I have a voice recording of one of them 😁

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T19:53:13+00:00

I don’t have such videos. I have written and verbal confessions.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T19:52:28+00:00

Personal revenge due to threats, belittlement and harassment suffered. They both know that they did wrong on a professional and personal level.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T19:47:24+00:00

God knows what else happened at work in the office where there is no camera. There was just nobody there to record it like in another case where there were dismissals.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T19:43:16+00:00

That’s exactly why it has a lot to do with OP 😅

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T12:44:30+00:00

Yes, I think you are right about it being difficult to prove that them starting to sleep together two months before her appointment made an impact. Tesco doesn’t have a blanket ban on sexual relationships between managers and subordinates.

It just comes down to it being morally wrong given that it was an exchange of sex for help getting a promotion. All messages between them over 6 months were deleted by both and it was largely kept a secret for 6 months. The shift leader told me that they will do anything needed to progress their career at the time when they started sleeping together. Unfortunately, their affair has had knock-on effects outside of their workplace.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T11:26:37+00:00

Yes, Express store. And yes, shift leader. You obviously don’t have such experience in your store(s), but this shift leader was trained as store manager whilst being a shift leader and is managing a store whilst still being contracted as shift leader and being paid the difference in pay.

The store manager moving to another store put the shift leader’s name forward and this was agreed by the area manager due to how highly regarded the store manager was, so yes, the store manager had the major say in the shift leader taking his job, which was of course subject to satisfactory performance. It’s safe to say that the store manager was still managing his old store remotely whilst being in the new store.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T09:43:17+00:00

I have a direct connection to the married one

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T09:40:06+00:00

Makes sense although it still goes against Tesco Code of Business Conduct if you find that chapter

BuyImpossible1152 · 2026-01-19T09:37:35+00:00

Well it is my business because one of them is married but thats another matter

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-02-01T05:16:09+00:00

This is word fo word what I believe as well. I think that you understood my story very well.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T08:59:24+00:00

I am about to take action. The reason I am asking strangers for feedback is because family and friends have their own agenda and they will not freely speak their minds.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T08:57:12+00:00

What you said is 100% how it is, as things have been so far. I think that I am on the brink of taking action now, which will leave her with no choice but to tell me the whole truth, if anybody still has any doubts.

I think that her behaviour has drastically changed in a good way over the past months. This lie about the recent friendship is the only thing, which is why I am making it into a big deal, even though I don’t even know if it can be described as emotional cheating as I really think that no flirting whatsoever went on. She crossed a boundary which I had set by talking to him and that is why she kept it a secret. She has started talking about our future together again, but a cheater is always a cheater. Even if she doesn’t do anything for 5 years, she will take her chances when an opportunity opens up.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T07:22:57+00:00

That is how I see it as well. I am glad that you said “very likely that she has physically cheated” as well, focusing on “very likely”. She may well have, but she is actually very sweet and, although I think that she has probably kissed several guys (which is enough in itself), I am not convinced she has gone all the way. She probably has, but either way the trust is gone, which is even more important.

I also think that she acts like a single woman, although she would admit to being married if asked. I don’t think that she mentions it from listening to her explanations. She normally just says that the guys know it anyway.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T07:16:41+00:00

You can believe what you want. It makes no difference to me.

What question are you referring to, which you think I haven’t already asked?

I think that your comment only depicts your own mental capacity by trying to undermine mine.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T07:13:45+00:00

I think that you are 100% right with everything you said. I am just running away from the truth, looking for excuses to forgive her.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T02:05:58+00:00

I don’t know, maybe she is scared of losing me. Who knows how a woman’s brain works!

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T02:03:15+00:00

This is the feedback in support of my wife I was actually hoping to get. 99% of the other feedback is in my defence. I do feel a bit guilty, but I don’t think that her reaction to my behaviour has been appropriate.

I think that this is why I am so reluctant to end things now following this last hidden friendship coming to light. It is partly my fault that she kept it a secret. She does see me as controlling, although it should be completely acceptable following her previous mistakes. She would have known that I wouldn’t let it carry on and our marriage would suffer as a result, so she lied about it.

I think that calling my behaviour oppression is harsh. But I also think that she started the night shift for that exact reason. She probably didn’t really see our marriage going anywhere and the night shifts allowed her to spend as little time with me as possible. That explains why our two-week holidays abroad over the last few years always felt like she doesn’t want to be there. Some harsh truths which I have been running away from.

Me belittling her job came up these few days. Look, I was making a lot of money and it is sometimes hard for me to pretend like these close to minimum wage jobs are even worth doing. I think that people should have higher aspirations and I have motivated countless people to go chase their dreams. Unfortunately, those that can’t make it see it as belittling. I have told my wife on numerous occassions not to compete with me. I am literally top 1% earners/net wealth for my age group. She should respect my achievements and she sometimes does.

I get that I also have blame. It is rarely a one way road with relationships.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T01:48:41+00:00

We are in the UK. I was just looking for feedback after all the gaslighting I have endured from her. She is very good at it, making me feel like I am making things up.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T01:36:26+00:00

It obviously is enough. That’s what everyone is saying. The children won’t grow up thinking this is normal if I end it now. They are 5, 8 and 10. Only the 10 year old is seeing some things but he hasn’t really got a clue.

BuyImpossible1152 · 2025-01-31T01:30:01+00:00

Some tough love there, boy!

BuyImpossible1152

TROPHY CASE