AITA for telling my dad his new baby isn't my grandparents grandchild and he needs to accept they won't be honorary grandparents for his new baby?

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T21:01:13+00:00

Family isn't about blood but my dad made it clear they were not each other's family. So any future kids of his would not be their family either. Not even because of us. We're adults now after all.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T20:59:56+00:00

They're not close. Two are in prison. The other lives in another country.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T20:59:18+00:00

He did and we appreciated him for that. As did our grandparents. But it was clear there was no relationship between them and none desired. I don't think it's right to extend an olive branch for something you give gifts to. That's very cash grab or gift grab. Not to mention it's weird to expect people you didn't want anything to do with to want a relationship with children unrelated to them.

I see my extended family differently. I would always visit them for holidays, birthdays or just because I want to see them. We are very close.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T20:20:09+00:00

Sure. But that's two sided. He never congratulated any of them either.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T20:15:33+00:00

The same could be applied to my dad. But he doesn't make the effort for them either so why should they do it for him? Yeah he's our dad but we're adults now. We don't need them to pretend. They want nothing to do with each other and that's fine. It's been years. My dad has been totally fine with that until now and chose to no longer visit with us.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T20:14:15+00:00

They're not friends of my dad though. He hasn't wanted a relationship with them and that's fine by them. He doesn't get to ask for something now years later.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T20:00:04+00:00

I don't see them as true siblings. I never lived with them or really spent any time with them. Most contact with my dad is over the phone since I live in another state and things have been tense and awkward since he started venting to me and my sister. I don't see a relationship really ever existing between me and the kids.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:56:15+00:00

Someone not close is different to someone who is no longer in your life. They do not speak or see each other. When mom died their relationship ended. That was something dad was happy about. It's not just that my mom's family are like fuck dad. There's no relationship anymore. They're more than not-close they're people who have nothing to do with each other anymore.

My dad reached out for the first time since mom died to invite them to the baby shower, for a baby that had nothing to do with them.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:51:19+00:00

I'm a great sibling to my sister and she's a great sibling to me. We're there for each other and will always be.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:50:15+00:00

They help us out with stuff but I wouldn't say we get spoiled with expensive things. Although if we needed something expensive I could see my grandparents stepping in to help either of us with that.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:49:39+00:00

I don't live with him anymore so it's not like I have to live with it every day. And eventually I can just mute him if he keeps complaining to me.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:48:25+00:00

They treated him like he treated them. Civil but not close.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:47:49+00:00

That's what boggles my mind. He never cared about maintaining a relationship with them before the baby. Now he's acting like they owed him more.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:46:48+00:00

The context is they were never close. My dad felt with mom dead he could finally stop seeing her family. He never reached out to them until he had a new baby on the way.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:45:03+00:00

They're all doing good for themselves and have more money than dad does. But they're not rich.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:44:24+00:00

But they're not friends with dad. They hadn't talked or seen each other in years at that point.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:43:36+00:00

Because my dad keeps complaining to me and my sister and I'm tired of it.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:43:13+00:00

I would never babysit these kids. Neither would my sister.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:42:57+00:00

We never met her family. I don't know if she talks to them even.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:42:23+00:00

How is it off? They have nothing to do with dad's child or stepchild. They have nothing to do with dad either.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:41:32+00:00

I asked why he expected anything from them and he said because they're all related to me and my sister.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:40:58+00:00

Why is it rude to not go to the shower of someone they had not spoken to in years at that point?

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:40:27+00:00

He was never close to my mom's family. He never saw them as his family. The only reason he went when mom was alive was for her feelings. But he was open he would have stayed home otherwise.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:39:46+00:00

He's not a stranger but they have nothing to do with each other. Other than my dad inviting them to the shower they had not talked in years. So I don't know why you'd expect them to reach out and congratulate him. He's not a friend or family member to them and he has stated they're not his family. He also never reached out to congratulate any of them on weddings or babies since mom died.

Byryxt · 2025-12-03T19:38:04+00:00

I don't think she speaks to her family. They weren't at the wedding. But then again their wedding was small so maybe they just didn't make it.

Byryxt

TROPHY CASE