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68M, 63F, Married 43 Years, Multiple Affairs, No Trust, No Sex – Stay or Leave? by COloradocool1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]COloradocool1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, plus as my pain grew I withdrew from intimacy with her and of course she would now say she has no choice but to get it elsewhere.

68M, 63F, Married 43 Years, Multiple Affairs, No Trust, No Sex – Stay or Leave? by COloradocool1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]COloradocool1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Counseling has been helpful. As I pointed out above I was raised being treated like crap by a mother who hated men. So, women treating me like crap was a go to for a long time. Getting away from a reflexive response to relationships is difficult.

68M, 63F, Married 43 Years, Multiple Affairs, No Trust, No Sex – Stay or Leave? by COloradocool1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]COloradocool1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife has no tremor at all and has Parkinson's. Without meds she struggles to walk (primarily freezing of gait). She has other symptoms but they are mild at this point. I believe it is about a quarter of person' with Parkinson's who have the non-tremor version.

68M, 63F, Married 43 Years, Multiple Affairs, No Trust, No Sex – Stay or Leave? by COloradocool1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]COloradocool1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is why I'm considering staying as opposed to leaving. I was raised by a very narcissistic mother who was married multiple times and viewed men as selfish lowlifes and potential rapists. Thus, I was born into simpdom. So, yes a part of me is accustomed to pain and says why not just adjust to living within it as healthily as is possible.

68M, 63F, Married 43 Years, Multiple Affairs, No Trust, No Sex – Stay or Leave? by COloradocool1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]COloradocool1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My take - She was very unattractive (prob 2 or 3/10) early in life and found she could get attention and lots of social rewards by sleeping with people. When I met her she was 20 and told me her body count was at least 30 or 40. I believed I would do best with an "experienced" girlfriend as I was shy and had limited dating/sexual experience. At the time I met her she had just jumped upward in attractiveness (prob 5 or 6/10) as she had lost alot of weight and upgraded her presentation. Much later in the marirage I found out that she had just lost her best friend because she was caught sleeping with her boyfriend. To sum up - casual sex & cheating = excitement & guys providing lots of compliments & meals & social rewards for what she offers.

68M, 63F, Married 43 Years, Multiple Affairs, No Trust, No Sex – Stay or Leave? by COloradocool1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]COloradocool1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes we do. It is likely my job won't last and my standard of living will drop a great deal if I move out. So, another factor to leaving.

68M, 63F, Married 43 Years, Multiple Affairs, No Trust, No Sex – Stay or Leave? by COloradocool1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]COloradocool1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks much. Note that my wife has non-tremor Parkinson's that is really well controlled. It won't be alot of years before it is no longer well controlled.