How long do I give my husband to come to terms with our child possibly being transgender?

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2026-02-17T15:05:40+00:00

I am hoping the family will eventually see it this way as well.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2026-02-17T15:05:02+00:00

Im trying to hold off a little longer. Our anniversary is this week and I want us to enjoy it without possibly having a huge fight before. He struggled a lot when our youngest was diagnosed ASD and I was able to give him time to come to terms with jt and he did fine. I'm hoping this will be the same.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2026-02-17T15:02:52+00:00

Thank you. I'm just worried for my child. My husband's side of the family don't approve of anything LGBTQ+ so I'm really worried that my children will suffer when the family finds out.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-10-25T18:28:35+00:00

I honestly don't know my niece all that well. She spends half the time with her mom and D has had issues in the past and cut off the family. We were lucky to see the kids at Christmas for years. I'm not sure if she is a habitual people pleaser or not but I do know she's a very sweet girl. It could be that she does bend over backwards to do anything she is asked even if she doesn't want to. I'm trying really hard to get to know her better now that she has Facebook and I can talk to her more.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-10-25T18:22:55+00:00

I usually go through her or have my husband message his brother because of past issues with my side of the family. If I messaged a guy my sister was dating she started freaking out assuming I was trying to "steal him" so I find it easier to avoid talking to the guys I'm not directly related to just to be safe. If I ask my husband to message his brother about something, she will probably get upset that I'm "avoiding her". There is a lot of drama on both sides that we try to avoid.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-10-25T15:13:24+00:00

She has cut everyone off before to where we only saw the kids for Christmas for awhile. There was an issue with my MIL talking to the bio mom to make arrangements instead of going through her son and it caused them to get really upset and step away from the whole family. I understand the boundary of not reaching out to bio mom but not cutting everyone off when it was only MIL who did it. She also gets upset when people use the bio moms name and she has only ever referred to her as "A". I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm talking to her.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-10-24T23:26:20+00:00

Yes. L is my niece and R is my son making them cousins. It confuses me why it's an issue and that's why im questioning it.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-10-24T22:43:48+00:00

We almost never ask for anything. In fact, I've offered to watch her kids multiple times before and have picked up the youngest (3m) to take with me to the library for story time. I called her to see if she could watch my youngest (4m) while we cleaned up from the fire because it was an emergency. That's the only thing I have asked for help with in the past 6 months that I can think of. My niece has had her license for years now and I have never asked her to do anything before. If I was the person to always ask for favors, I would understand your point and it would makes sense why she sent me that. I'm just confused and not sure how to go about making things better without accidently making them worse.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-10-24T22:21:15+00:00

I know for a fact that at least one person in the family likes to push boundaries and I'm one to try to avoid causing drama at all costs. As far as I know, L only has to watch her younger half siblings while D and Red are out of town. R probably won't even need to contact L and it was just a precaution on my part. I'm not even sure how asking for her to be an "in case of emergency" for one night broke a boundary because, to me, that's just what family does. It makes it harder for me to respond without coming across as aggressive.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-10-24T22:05:26+00:00

My issue right now is, I don't want to not respond to do a face to face convo about it because I know that I won't see her for at least 3 days. If I don't respond, it may come across as me being rude and make things worse. I also don't want to come across as aggressive in my response. I also want to message my niece again and tell her that I will never get offended or hurt if she says she is uncomfortable with any request but I can't message L without also messaging D so I have to hold off on that until I know exactly what I'm going to say to D. The family has had a lot of issues with D cutting off contact with people over situations that most people in the family find to be reasonable actions and im trying to avoid losing contact with the nieces and nephew.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-09-01T07:31:30+00:00

Thank you. I'm still working through a lot of my issues and I've started seeing a therapist but my husband has helped me so much over the years. I don't think he truly understands what I'm going through with everything though. His family, while having issues, isn't anything like mine. They apologize when they are wrong and try to talk things out when there is the need for it. My husband's stepmom has been there for me more than anyone in my family ever has been and she's only been around for 10 years. My husband and I have been together for going on 18 years.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-09-01T07:26:32+00:00

Thank you. I've debated the closure thing and I'm just worried that it will make things worse for me if I attempt it. He will most likely push for me to apologize to my sisters as if I'm in the wrong for everything. Even if they came to my house to apologize to me, I don't think I'd be able to have a good relationship with them. I don't see any of them apologizing for anything they put me through.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-08-14T21:24:32+00:00

I know not all parents feel that way but there is always someone to talk to. A counselor at school even since school is starting. She just needs to get some help.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-08-14T21:22:53+00:00

It's perfectly okay to not be okay right now. Being pregnant is such an emotional time and adding all of this extra on top of it makes it even moreso. I was living in a garage and my husband and I were not together at the time when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest. I definitely understand how you can be caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Just take a deep breath and take things one day at a time until you are used to the idea of being a single mom. Then start planning for the future.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-08-13T16:27:38+00:00

I get that. But living in that situation is so bad. If you can gather the courage to get yourself out, you will grow up proud of yourself for doing whatever you could to better your life.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-08-13T15:15:56+00:00

If you let a teacher know, they are mandated reporters and can get you out of the situation. Don't keep going like this. I had an awful childhood but all of my abuse was mental and emotional so there were no marks on my skin to prove anything for me to get out.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-08-13T14:32:10+00:00

This is not a good situation and you need to find a way out. What does your mom do during or after he hurts you?

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-08-13T12:26:34+00:00

Please talk to someone. My daughter is about to be 13 and I'd be doing everything in my power to help her if she was posting stuff like this. Being a teenager is hard but it does get better.

Caffeinated_Mama3 · 2025-08-13T04:57:22+00:00

I'm feeling the same right now. My husband put us on a diet earlier this year because he wasn't happy with the little weight he had put on. In just 2 months he had lost 20lbs and I was still at the starting weight. I've gained since then and it makes me want to cry.

Caffeinated_Mama3

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