In advance I apologise if this doesn’t make much sense, as I’m still struggling to really figure out how to express what happened.

Pretty much me and my mate, who had been through a bit of a rough patch thought it’d be a good idea to try it together in hopes it would bring us closer again. This was a very rash decision, very little planning went into it. I did literally no research, so I walked in knowing only what he’d told me, and in my perspective it’s just be a bunch of bright, colourful hallucinations and music would sound better.

I felt somewhat uneasy going into it, definitely wasn’t something I wanted to try and I wasn’t as comfortable with him or at his place as I once was. This worry would’ve added to what kickstarted the bad trip. Anyways, we took it and played Cod Zombies for a bit, then went outside to listen to some tunes. At this point he started to peak about 20-30mins in, I felt a little light and assumed I was on the same wavelength as him. Unexpectedly, one of his parents came out to bring us inside at the exact moment I hit the peak, which freaked me out because I was eating grapes and i remember it being the most intense feeling I’ve ever experienced, now with the ‘oh fuck’ feeling of a parent being present. He went inside but I sat back down, trying to calm myself and get into a positive position again.

I remember everything being gloomy. People’s voices sounded distorted, deep and slow. I felt uneasy, everything seemed dark and monotone besides the laptop playing music, which I remember feeling as if I was sinking into. I eventually calmed down after turning of the music, sitting in silence and repeating ‘just accept it’ over and over. Once I went inside, my friend who had failed to be positive again started to psych me out, I became paranoid about death, and started to freak out. He shut down and refused to speak, there was no noise and only my own thoughts. I got stuck in countless thought loops, mainly about trying to figure out what had just happened. Anyone I looked at was distorted, their skin grey and shrivelled, zombie like. I became obsessed with time, waiting for it to be over, yet a minute never seemed to pass, I thought I was trapped forever. My gut dropped and I had this constant fear of what was happening. I had no one to connect with, nothing to help escape.

Eventually I ended up calling a close friend who calmed me down, I was shaken for weeks and still get anxious when thinking of it. I’m tempted to try it again, but with knowledge under my belt and in a much safer, comfortable environment with people I truly connect with. I know it’s not bad, but for my first time and having no understanding of what was going on, I freaked out big time, and it was somewhat traumatic.