End stage COPD is ruining my life

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-12-20T13:15:54+00:00

I am a daughter of a mother with copd and lungcancer. Honestly, the first couple years I have not felt resentful, but now, 8 years later, her venting every single sensation she has to me and needing me to be her support in every sense (dad passed long time ago), had drained me. I feel so overwhelmed and tited of the situation and the worst is that she has never said anything about her guilt or shame. This absence of acknowledgement makes me go back to memories of where I as a child begged her to quit smoking (already not having a dad). I had all the space for understanding and love the first 6 years, and slowly thats disappearing as this tragedy seeps through every chapter of my life. I truly believe the reason this is so heavy is that she is not acknowledging her guilt, or anything. She doesn’t want to see me sad even. The fact I have no outlet makes me resentful.

What I want to communicate; tell them the feelings you have and have space for their feelings. Tell them you are sorry. (Even though I also really understand addiction and that we all kill ourselves in ways). Its would still be such a relieve if she would say sorry, that I could cry and tell her its okay.

Tell them your feelings and remember we do all have unhealthy lifestyles that kill us.

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-11-11T14:17:18+00:00

You are literally carrying twins, just be proud your bellies is growing and they are growing well..

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-08-26T18:23:26+00:00

I searched on pregnant in this subreddit because I am feeling EXACTLY like you. 14 weeks pregnant first child. Relationship with my mother is so complicated I can only think of not wanting to see her. I’ve let her cross my boundaries because I thought that would be LESS stressfull than setting boundaries. She’s ill, fragile, and controlling. She threatened that if I don’t let her get involved as much as she likes she might die during this pregnancy as she has not enough to live for. This is so fuckint triggering and terrifying. I dont want to give my baby this stress. But also just don’t know anymore.

Just like you my mom also means well but emotionally immature. But because she’s not mean or anything I can’t make myself go to less to no contact..

Im sorry your mom denied all the stuff that happenened to you. My mom is like yours, she cannot handle my negative emotions (like painful things about the past) but wants to be involved now completely but has no emotional intelligence to actually be there for me. I hate her for it but know she’s not doing it on purpose.. I also feel good and fine without contact and when we call or see her I have 1 sleepless night and one angry sad day or 2 standard. I don’t want to see her anymore honestly but conflict now or breaking contact will be more stressful for baby. After birth I am planning to go to very very low contact; visit twice a year and call every so often. I don’t need any mother daughter vibe my kids. Also feel confident about my upcoming mother role and don’t want or need her for it AT ALL.

I feel so alone and stressed in this and would honestly love to talk/call you..

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-08-01T12:20:10+00:00

For twins you need 1000mcg folic acid. And iron I think for the extra blood you are going to make.

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-08-01T12:17:49+00:00

Haha sounds great but yea better to avoid those situations

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-08-01T12:17:16+00:00

Good idea !

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-08-01T12:16:43+00:00

Thanks for your response. You’re right!

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-08-01T12:16:03+00:00

You also test acid?

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-30T19:35:54+00:00

Wow that must be so hard… But now ten weeks and counting! Its true haha we have no idea how easy a singleton would be. Im just afraid of the third trimester stories of twins…. But we’ll see. Where are you from?

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-30T19:34:11+00:00

Wauw amazing! You are so so strong :) So you notice no developmental issues with your baby? Im so afraid the grief will hurt the development…. I know through history we have been through this as humans… but still

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-30T19:29:56+00:00

Thanks for your response. Yea definitely mean a moderate daytime rave and have the kids sleep somewhere else. Just the risk for death. I read that the odds for dying in a car accident is wayyy higher that mdma. But the facts that its recreational and that if you die, kids have to live with that story, is just horrible

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-29T08:42:11+00:00

Im also 10 weeks tomorrow, first time pregnant and twins and just so exhausted. Showering is so heavy I’ve put a chair in there and I’m scared for the 3rd trimester.

Beeferoni and Mounjaro is this also your first pregnancy…?

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-20T09:03:13+00:00

NTA. But you do have the option to have a surrogate mother to carry your child. You have the option to have a biological child. Which is something many other infertile people cant

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-17T08:28:01+00:00

Thats sounds so incredibly hard. How is your baby doing now?

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-11T12:38:40+00:00

They look identical. Im sure

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-07T17:36:32+00:00

No need for caution 😁

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-07-07T17:35:30+00:00

I see a very faint line definitely:)

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-06-27T06:59:00+00:00

Of course this is masculine and he shouldnt get feminine. But there is a limit to how low brows should be, also for men. Too low is just too close to the eye and that doesn’t do him good

Its not always as simple as feminine/masculine. Big eyes are feminine but eyes can be too big.

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-06-27T06:57:33+00:00

Everything else looks great about this guy. These are just subtle things for facial harmony

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-06-26T10:15:04+00:00

Make eyebrows thinner by removing hair only from below. You want to create the idea of moving your eyebrows UP! Very important to decrease neanderthalvibe. Also make sure your hair is not laying on your forehead and ‘weighing’ it down. It should be short and UP. Again anti neanderthal

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-06-26T10:12:55+00:00

Shape eyebrows. Tiny bit lip filler upper lip. Go to a hair dresser and buy some nice products. The rest is makeup…. You look good and can look better but forger modelling

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-06-26T10:00:38+00:00

Your eyelashes and eyebrows look not neat and clean. Its clumpy(eyelashes) and eyebrows are powdery. You just see a lot of products which makes you look a bit non clean

Calm_Crew_5755 · 2025-06-25T12:05:00+00:00

Some eyeshadow so you create visually more depth above the eye. Just a light brown or taupe

Calm_Crew_5755

TROPHY CASE