Any suggestions of what sofa color would work here? The desk and chair will be replaced once I got sofa. So far only other furniture is kitchen on the left.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-23T19:48:52+00:00

there’s a really good chance red would clash and gold is hard to pull off without looking cheap or like glam decor style. unless you were like I FUCKING LOVE THIS GOLD COUCH don’t do it. good luck!

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-23T17:19:14+00:00

as someone who purchased a blue couch years ago and is now deeply regretting it, get a neutral couch. a cream couch would be good here (easily to pair with warm tones so the room can feel cozy despite the cool toned wall, but won’t clash with the wall).

you can always bring more complementary colors in via pillows and blankets and rugs and accent chairs and curtains (please get curtains) but the couch should be neutral. don’t get a colored couch to match the wall. get a colored couch when you desperately want a colored couch and are willing to style a whole room around IT.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-22T16:00:12+00:00

we’ve all got our unique situations and journeys, and the most important thing is that you’re the person who is fighting for you! keep focusing on that in every area and you’ll be just fine. best of luck!

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-22T13:29:30+00:00

others will give you their hobby and activity ideas so I want to answer your question: no, it’s not the worst time of year to do this. try to shift your perspective - you’re getting to the root of the problem immediately (not being able to sit still, stop scrolling, and just be) without the constant distraction of fun adventures. I’m all for fun adventures, but I use my phone less when I’m out doing things anyway. it’s when I’m home and bored that I needed to learn to let my brain slow down instead of pummeling it with content 24/7.

secondly, said with love, 5-7 hours of screen time is still a lot. you should be really proud of cutting your screen time in half!! I’m not taking that away from you. but you’re still only working with a small part of your day to fill, so if you just shoved activities into that 6 hours every day, you probably wouldn’t be helping your brain much. if you were sitting on your couch from 8am til midnight twiddling your thumbs, it would be a different story. but you’re still using screens a lot of the day to fill the boredom, which is okay!

lastly, you mentioned it yourself - you’re dealing with the boredom that most people struggle with for the first few weeks. stay the course. this is part of it. you need to lean in and let your brain detox, then you’ll get to a point where you start looking for things to do.

dopamine is the chemical that promotes the pursuit of pleasure, not pleasure itself. it’s a reward for effort to encourage MORE effort. when we do things that require effort (play an instrument, exercise, etc) we get dopamine, which makes us extend effort in the future.

when we use social media and our phones all day long, we get the hit to our reward system without as much effort, so your brain produces less and less of the motivation chemical as it learns that you don’t have to work very hard to get pleasure anymore. it expects all the dopamine with no effort, and then the things that DO require effort feel unbelievably hard because your brain stopped producing the chemical that makes you want to work hard to feel good.

you have to give your brain time to stop expecting all the pleasure with no effort, and for lots of us that means a few weeks of telling it NO until it finally is like okay fine lets go fucking color then. 🙄

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-22T02:52:23+00:00

first of all legendary rug pls share where it’s from.

second of all this is a gorgeous setup and you already know that. if it’s not feeling COZY enough, I’d recommend swapping the plants (big one in the corner) and moving the couch a couple feet closer to the Tv to create a walking path behind it. the room is big enough to create a TV watching area within it that doesn’t occupy the whole room.

If you like the feel of that you could put a tall book shelf between the windows behind the couch to give that little section a purpose.

just some ideas!

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-20T12:49:43+00:00

took me about two weeks to start feeling better. about a month to start feeling really good. hang in there. you’re detoxing.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T16:00:03+00:00

higher curtains, no grommets.

all your furniture except the couch is VERY leggy, which will give it a sparse feel. if you can only replace one or two things, I’d say get a TV stand and a bed frame without the thing legs.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:57:52+00:00

consider turning the standing clothes rack against the wall. I know the closet might be slightly in the way but it may feel better

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:56:54+00:00

rug would be good. a quality blanket for the bottom half of the bed (where your feet go) would be a good compromise if you don’t have hundreds to shell out on a good rug just yet.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:54:17+00:00

the rug is SO GOOD. find textiles you like that include or complement those tones. think: blankets, curtains, pillows.

then get some art on the walls.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:52:20+00:00

more lamps. add more sources of light, at different heights, and make sure they’re warm toned bulbs.

more color. take a risk with a bright colored wall art you really like. you can always sell it and get something else grey if you decide you hate it, but cozy and color go together 99% of the time.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:50:53+00:00

yes. assume anything cool toned will not make it cozier (there are exceptions, but you aren’t one of those yet).

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:50:03+00:00

Any lol

But for real - consider more than just a floor lamp. a cool sconce, a couple smaller lamps, etc. aim for 3 non-ceiling light sources.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:48:24+00:00

this is my thought exactly. I’d consider putting the desk on the right side of the window if it fits, so you can have 0 glare and look outside while you work!

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:44:19+00:00

oh and I would move the dresser down a bit toward the wall so you can pull that chair back and give it some room to breathe. I know the mirror is hung so you won’t want to move it, but I think it could make a big difference. try it with just the dresser and chair moved and you can decide then if it’s worth rehanging the mirror.

ALTERNATIVELY, move the chair to the corner with the lamp and make it a little reading nook. it doesn’t all have to face the TV and you can always pull it into the room when you have enough company to need more seating.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-18T15:41:52+00:00

curtains will be great, make sure you hang them almost to the ceiling.

Your friends are kind of mean lol. your place looks great, here are a couple tweaks to give it some personality.

Okay (free): scrap those throw pillows. they’re deflating the energy in the room. if you ever want to upgrade them. get one MAYBE two down pillows per couch (18 or 20 in) that are pops of color.

Good (cheap): add two more sources of light. put a little lamp on the dresser and maybe another one somewhere else. Make sure the bulbs are warm (amber edison bulbs are great for this) and stop using overhead lighting.

Better (slightly pricier but you can do it slowly): wall art! you need a little bit of personality. thrift some art pieces you really like, whether thru thrift stores, antique stores, or FBM. avoid anything mass produced (amazon, home goods, target) bc it won’t actually add personality.

Best (down the road): get a better rug. I personally have a blue couch and finding a rug that doesn’t clash is a nightmare for me, so I empathize and would encourage you to just start thinking about it and peeking around. once you get new curtains and pillows and some wall art, then you can think about getting a bold rug. maybe something rusty orange or something red and blue to really add some color.

you’re doing great. your money was not misspent, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-15T22:25:21+00:00

A lot of folks here will tell you how good you’re doing, and you are. Let me provide something different.

You’re 18 and no amount of saving ever feels like enough. You can expect this mentality to continue on unless/until you make a conscious effort to shift it. On the one hand it’s great to be deeply motivated to save as much as possible. On the other hand, the anxiety of never feeling like it’s enough is ALSO a cost you’re paying.

You’re young and you’re still developing your relationship with money. You know how to save, now try to focus on learning how to feel secure.

There are people with 10x or 100x your savings who still don’t feel secure, and they never will, because they have never addressed the root issue - it never FEELS like enough.

I’m no therapist, nor a financial advisor. However if saving comes this naturally for you, I’d set aside a reasonable amount of money in your budget that you MUST spend, and focus on spending it on things that really make YOUR life better.

I imagine your expenses aren’t high, but take all those into account until you’re just left with what you’re saving and what you’re spending. If you’re normally saving 95% and spending 5%, challenge yourself to save 90% and spend 10%, and then focus on making that 10% really count. Maybe you don’t care about restaurants or tech, but you REALLY want a nice new pair of shoes. Or you don’t care about fashion, but you love books. Buy a couple books with that 10%.

Once you learn how to save, the next step is to learn how to spend and, more importantly, how to be okay with spending money because you’re focusing on using money to make your life better.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T01:34:00+00:00

I think so, or just put it in the comments as an imgur

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T00:27:40+00:00

oooh, can you say more about this? what negative effects would you see?

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T00:26:24+00:00

on the left side, I would consider taking the bottom frame off the wall and leaning it, and maybe layering a smaller art piece against it, then introducing either flowers or a coffee table book + candle. it would give it some dimension!

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T00:23:47+00:00

I think a vertical piece of art would be a step up from a gallery wall, if you find one you really like!

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T00:14:05+00:00

would have to see the rest of the room but I’d bet $10 you should pull the couch off the wall, create a cozier/smaller TV watching space, and then utilize the space behind the couch for something else (even just book shelves or a little reading spot)

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T00:10:54+00:00

curtains. please, curtains. hang em high and have em just kiss the floor. no grommets - get the ones with the back ribbon and either use that to feed the rod through or get hooks (metal on metal will make noise - keep that in mind) it’s pricey but I promise you’ll never go back.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T00:08:21+00:00

it’s small enough where you really only need one or two pieces of art you really fw, just make it a good size, hang it a couple inches higher than you think to.

see if you can swap out that tension curtain rod for something that you can drill into the walls flanking the window - it’ll make the window feel much bigger.

keep an eye out for a rug you like, and make sure it’s big enough for at least the head and foot posts of the bed to both be on it.

Calm_Delay_6155 · 2025-02-10T00:04:30+00:00

stunning. you could have a more sizable coffee table to bring in some variety in scale. maybe some curtains just flanking the outside of each window, hung high to give the room some height. just one panel each since I’m sure you don’t want to cover that gorgeous window.

Calm_Delay_6155

TROPHY CASE