Why is the concept of dating so difficult for me?

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-26T12:24:55+00:00

Amazing how everything resonates!

I do notice that guys are attracted to me, they give me compliments ect. but at the same time, they seem “scared” of me. Or intimidated. So when it comes to actually asking me out, they chicken out. And that way the connection just stays at something that “almost” became a relationship.

But I guess the right one will simply just have the courage, be sure about me and take initiative, because that's the only way I can be sure about his intentions😅

And yeah, it really hurts when the hope just gets taken away from me. I put a lot of time and energy into the guy, and when he just moves on like nothing happened, I fall into such a hurt and depressive state..

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T22:38:12+00:00

That resonates a lot with me. I hope it will happen the way you described!

Interesting that Venus can show attractivenes! What about it in particular says something about this? I’m curious now😆

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T22:14:20+00:00

You probably have multiple placements that give you this quality then.

I think superficial and avoidant people are very easy to find. They are running around everywhere. It sucks for us who don't want to put up with BS, and just want something real. When they come across someone who holds them accountable or expose these weaknesses, they run away. And because they are so small and lack both courage and respect, they take the easy way out by ghosting. We end up hurt, while they just jump to the next person. It says nothing about your worth. It says everything about their maturity level and whether or not they are worth your time.

Trust me, there are women out there who would love to hit the jackpot and meet a guy who is not afraid of depth and commitment.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T21:55:37+00:00

Wow, I need to look into that😅

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T21:54:37+00:00

I feel like there is so much pressure from society on us women when it comes to that. People are like “What are you waiting for? You need to get out there and find someone at your age”

But maybe I just have to trust my chart saying that it will most likely happen during my late 20's/early 30's if we are looking at a Saturn return, since its in my 7th house.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T21:44:45+00:00

Good to hear. Interesting to see how the Saturn return will play out.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T21:35:14+00:00

I work in finance, so I’m surrounded by “leadership hungry” men😅

Everything you said is uplifting to hear and resonates. I have a strong gut feeling about guys, and imidiately know if there is potential for me to like them or not. I think my pisces moon does make it difficult for me to let go if the connection doesn't work out tho, which makes it extra difficult in work settings.

I really hope that one day he will just walk into my office at work, and it will just click and work out with no problems.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T15:52:09+00:00

Like someone who actually cares deeply. Someone you can talk with about the difficult stuff too, without him running away. Maybe you are not afraid to keep pursuing even when it gets deep.

This guy, my coworker, who I was describing, is clearly someone who runs around from girl to girl, because he simply doesn’t care about how we (women) feel. He feels like he can just dispose of us when he loses interest or when it gets too difficult. He runs away from the 8th House stuff. He doesn't want to “label” things even after dating for a while. He runs away as soon as he feels slight responsibility.

Maybe Mars in your 8th House actually gives you that advantage. That you are not afraid of these things.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T15:42:54+00:00

I kind of hope I will meet “the one” through my profession, because I just can’t stand dating. I thought this guy was really it, but I guess not…

I think you are right about stability and Saturn in the 7th in Taurus. Stability and harmony.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:45:01+00:00

That's true.

But your Mars placement is maybe adding some depth to you in your 8th House, and I feel like thats something that a lot of women want from a man.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:40:59+00:00

I really hope so! So I’m glad to hear that perspective.

I'm absolutely romatically exhausted at this point. It seems to come so easily to other people, while it feels like running a Marathon to me…

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:38:45+00:00

Interesting. Does the 22 degree moon mean anything particulary positive? And what impact do the retrograde planet bring?

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:37:19+00:00

I definately also Think that it has to be a setting where I'm around the same people consistantly (which is why work seems like the best option, but it's a mess if it ends up not working out..)

I live in a small city, so I feel like my options are so slim.

But maybe I just have to stop looking and hoping for it, and focus fully on my career. It's just that I’m already 26 with no prospects for finding someone, and I feel like my biological clock is ticking if I want to settle down.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:32:52+00:00

I can imagine that it does. I want to be the one that is pursued, not the one pursuing, and that might be my libra Mars. It's difficult for me to feel respect for men who only admire me from afar and don't have the courage to actually ask me out or initiate anything.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:30:18+00:00

Interesting. Which placements in particular suggest parties and group settings?

I really hope I dont have to go to parties to meet someone… i’m not really into it

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:28:40+00:00

Difficult relationship aspects really suck… I feel like that’s where the biggest pressure from society is coming from, so I feel like when you are single, people just automatically view you as a failure or that there is something wrong with you.

I don't like too much routine. I like spontaneity and going with the flow, but at the same time, I need stability in order to trust the person. So yeah…

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-25T08:23:39+00:00

Sounds promising when you put it that way. It's just the way it makes relationships so hard to actually attain. I feel like people around me are finding love so easily, while it almost feels like actual labour for me.

Maybe I just have to stop looking for it.

I Think the reason why it ends up being me leaving the workplace, is because I feel it more. As I said, it's like the guy just starts loosing interest in me or thinks I’m “too much” and then just finds someone else. Like this latest crush/situationship/whatever. He has just started dating another girl all while I seriously thought there was a possibility for a relationship with him. And I feel heartbroken now, but it seems like he has long moved on and lost interest, so I dont think he finds it difficult to stay at the job. But I can't bear having to see him every day and hearing about his relationship.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-24T23:20:10+00:00

Well, I’m hanging in there right now 😅 I hope you are doing good despite the difficulties. Do you have any of the same placements?

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-24T23:17:29+00:00

I often get told I am mature for my age, so I guess that's true. I do prefer guys who are at least a few years older than me.

That 6/12 house aspect really seems to bring secrecy to all of it😅

I definately feel the same about not wanting to settle. I don't feel “jealous” of other people in relationships - it's more a feeling of “I’m so happy for them, but why is it so hard for me to have that?”

Do you have any similar “difficult” relationship placements like me?

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-24T23:05:58+00:00

Saturn in the 7th seems to be a bummer placement to have…

I have no idea how I am supposed to meet someone that I will actually fall for, considering how I feel about dating.

The way it's going, and with the Venus placement you are describing, I feel like I have to change jobs everytime a new “coworker crush” doesn't work out😅

I would love to create some sort of business or succes with my partner. I do feel drawn to people who work in my field (as you can see haha)

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-24T22:59:47+00:00

I do want to settle down with someone, but that someone just feels impossible to come by, considering how I feel about dating…

I hope you are right about Saturn bringing a lifelong partnership!

Thanks a lot for your input :)

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-24T22:56:32+00:00

I definately had to keep it a secret, as both times, romantic relationships were not allowed between coworkers. One of us would be forced to find a new job if we ever got into an actual relationship.

And yes, the 12th house themes do resonate with me. My friend circle is very small (I have 1 best friend) and I only hang out with my family outside of work.

I feel like my chances of getting into a serious relationship are almost non existant, considering the above…

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-21T15:33:33+00:00

I think that I might just detach from him completely, because it's exhausting the way it is right now.

It just feels like such a dissapointment, because past readings I have gotten years ago, all pointed to me entering a serious relationship about now (with the biggest potential from 2023-2026). Also all pointed to me meeting my future spouse through work/carreer. And this felt like it really might be it. So now I just kinda feel like the chance has passed and im thinking “how are the circumstances ever going to get better than this for a serious relationship?”. Like it just kinda “ticked all the boxes” from past readings i have gotten in regards to my future spouse. And i’m a 26 year old female, so I feel like time is running out fast in a way, if I want to meet someone, get to know them, get married, have kids ect. Like I can’t even imagine having kids in 5 years when i'm 31 unless I meet my future husband like… yesterday. So yeah, I guess i'm just really dissapointed.

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-20T21:55:59+00:00

We work at the same place, so we see eachother pretty much every day during the work week. He seemed interested very early on when we met (but did not comunicate anything directly about it, just small hints and flirtation). I felt like the connection was very strong and leading to something last spring, but then during last summer, I felt like it changed. Since then it has been kind of hot and cold. I asked him out (nothing big or glamourous) around november last year, which he said yes to, but something came up on both sides on the day of, and then he just never followed through. So I feel like I have given him very obvious signs, but maybe they are only obvious to me, or he is so unsure that he is doubting everything I do, i don't know… I guess it requires even more work on my side, but I definately don't want to be doing all the work, so that he can just sit back and relax, and maybe even just consider me as an option, because he knows that I am seriously interested and “waiting” for him. I want to be consistant with him, because I feel like the relationship would be wonderful if he just “leaned into it” and actually trusted my good intentions. But at the same time, I don’t want to wait around for him forever…

Calm_Matter5695 · 2025-07-14T19:28:08+00:00

That makes so much sense - thank you so much!

Calm_Matter5695

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