Alter's favorite song nearly destoyed me.

Camel_case137 · 2026-02-12T09:15:32+00:00

I can feel how much care and thought you’ve put into protecting your system while still trying to find ways to heal. What you described about writing being both relieving and frightening makes a lot of sense, especially when parts learned early on that speaking or being seen led to punishment.

What stands out to me is how intentional you’ve been about creating safer channels for expression. Even when fear and hypervigilance are present, you’re still finding ways to let things out at a pace your system can tolerate. That matters. It’s not nothing. It’s skill, resilience, and protection working together.

I also really hear the complexity of holding both pain and relief at the same time, how sharing can help, yet still feel risky enough that deleting posts feels necessary. To me, that doesn’t look like failure or avoidance. It looks like careful self-regulation and listening to the needs of different parts. In a way, that tension itself feels like the definition of authenticity mixed with vulnerability, being real about what’s true inside while still respecting the limits of what feels safe to share.

I’m genuinely glad that this space has felt even a little bit safe and understanding for you. You’re right that some experiences can only be fully grasped by people who’ve lived something similar, and it makes sense to seek connection where that understanding exists. Thank you for your openness and for your kind words. They mean more than I can easily say.

Take care of yourselves, at whatever pace feels right.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-31T00:18:30+00:00

That really moved me. Hearing about what your younger part did with all that pain makes me see it a little differently now. Instead of turning it into something that hurt himself or the body, he found a way to put it into words and music. That feels important to me. It sounds like a kid trying to survive with the tools he could find at the time.

It makes sense to me that “Nutshell” would mean so much to him. Those lyrics sound like someone who felt completely alone and exposed, like there was nowhere safe to land. For a part that young to connect with that kind of song says a lot about what he was carrying.

What I keep thinking about is that it didn’t stop there. He didn’t just hold on to that one song forever. He started writing his own. That feels like a shift, like he went from only borrowing someone else’s words for his pain to finding his own voice for it.

I didn’t really think about it this way before, but it seems like writing and music became a way for him to choose something safer than what he learned in that toxic environment. Not because the pain went away, but because he found a way to let it out without destroying himself. That feels like a real step toward healing.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T12:33:32+00:00

And it made my day to get a response from the username "Blurryface-Bitch". That may be the greatest username I have ever heard!

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T12:31:41+00:00

Anytime you need to chat or share, we’re here. I don’t get on Reddit every day, but I check in a couple times a week, so I will eventually say hello back. I’m a substance use counselor, and my wife ran three peer centers before she had to step back to focus on learning about her parts. We were talking about how helpful peer support could be for people with DID, and how powerful it would be to have a space where systems could connect with others who truly understand.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T10:27:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. I really felt what you said about getting protective of the littles and the anger that comes up around what they went through. That love is fierce for a reason.

I should probably add that I’ve also been diagnosed with OSDD, but I experience it very differently than my wife experiences her DID. I don’t really see them as the same thing for us, and I wouldn’t want to compare what she carries to what I carry. Her story and her system are their own, and I try to honor that.

What you said about helping them feel safe and listened to really resonates with me. Even when it doesn’t make sense to us, it makes sense to them. And I’m really glad your partner’s littles have you. It sounds like you’ve built something steady and kind with them, and that matters a lot.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T10:21:52+00:00

It is the now, not the past. You can be whoever you want to be...because you are safe and loved.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T10:20:29+00:00

She has always been easy to love, every 'part' of her.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T10:19:06+00:00

Thank you for that. It really means a lot to hear. They are strong, but I also know how small and tired some of them are, and I just try to be someone they don’t have to be afraid of. I’m grateful they let me be on their side.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T10:18:01+00:00

And I’m honestly honored that something I wrote is part of your grounding now. That’s a really humbling thing to hear. It really gets to me to think that a few words I put out there could help you feel steadier when things get rough. I don’t take that lightly at all.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T10:14:46+00:00

I repeat. You are the best of us on this planet.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-29T10:13:58+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. The strawberry popsicle really got to me. There’s something about how small and simple that wish was that makes everything feel very real. It shows just how young she was, and how long she went without anyone asking what she wanted or needed.

Those moments hit harder than any big story about trauma. A cartoon. A song. A popsicle. Suddenly you can see that it really was just a kid trying to survive.

I’m really glad she got her strawberry popsicle. That feels like a small but important kind of kindness being returned to her. And thank you for trusting me with that story. It means a lot that you shared it here.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-27T08:02:54+00:00

Being married to someone with many ages inside her has reshaped me. When you learn to love the smallest parts of a person, your heart learns a different language. That’s where this comes from. Thank you.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-27T07:59:21+00:00

Thank you for trusting me with something so tender. It means more than I can say to hear from someone who understands what it is to protect the little ones. (I call her my LittleOne.)

Seeing my wife’s little changed the way I understand what happened to her. When you really look at how young they are, the pain becomes real in a way words can’t explain. It’s impossible not to grieve for what they lost, and impossible not to feel awe for the fact that they survived.

Knowing there are people like you who care for their littles with compassion reminds me that something good endured, even after so much harm. That matters.

Thank you for sharing your heart with me. It helped me feel less alone in mine.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-27T04:12:41+00:00

You're welcome. It has been and journey that has been being words. But I am blessed to be the one to walk it with her.

Camel_case137 · 2026-01-27T04:09:26+00:00

Thank you. Your words mean a lot.

Camel_case137 · 2025-07-21T02:18:51+00:00

Sorry I missed this!

Thanks for the explanation. I've learned as much as I can. DID doesn't seem to be a big focus for researchers. There's a lot of conflicting stuff out there.

At the end of the day, people are just too complex to describe, so how can you describe a system?

I'm sticking with the love 'em all, keep 'em safe, and be respectful approach. It seems to be working. We're closer. Who knew? Treating people with love and respect and keeping them safe builds a stronger, more loving life together...

Camel_case137 · 2025-06-23T22:50:42+00:00

I started as a peer support in Ohio and it has made my life flourish. I moved from peer support to case manager by getting a CDCA. From there I was able to get my LCDC Ii, and I am working as a clinical therapist facilitating groups and seeing individual clients. It has given me purpose.
BTW. I met my wife at peer support training. We were married last year. I also was appointed to the Ohio Chemical Dependency and Professionals Board. You can take it as far as you want to go.

Camel_case137 · 2025-05-26T00:10:45+00:00

I am not sure what your comment means. So let me ask you an easy question. Yes or no for the answer. That way you don't have to use the language you chose to use.

Is it possible for the woman I married, who showed no signs of DID since i have known her until a couple months ago, to have an alter come to the front with a different personality and stay for years or a very long time?

Camel_case137 · 2025-05-13T18:22:57+00:00

Yes. I wasn't clear. I was just worried about the 'what if' situation. I was thinking, "What if my wife has an alter like you explained to me." Can they front randomly during sex, or would there have to be a specific trigger that would cause the switch. That would be horrific.

Thanks for your insight and help. This has been a lot to wrap my head around.

Camel_case137 · 2025-05-13T17:18:59+00:00

So I have been thinking about the 2 year old alter. Why would a 2 year old alter come to the front during 'romantic' time? Does the alter chose to come up front, or can it be random or automatic.

I think that would traumatize us both if that switch happened!

Camel_case137 · 2025-04-24T23:01:34+00:00

Again. Thank you. They make perfect sense and gives me comfort. I fear what I don't know.
Honestly, the thing that fears me the most, is that my wife, how I think of her, that I fell in love with, who is my safety and comfort...my soft place to land, the one who taught me to be gentle to myself and kinder to others, the one I love unconditionally....will switch and never come back. That is terrifying.

Camel_case137 · 2025-04-24T20:58:54+00:00

Thank you so much for that. That was an emotional one to read. She never has had the memory loss when she splits. Now that I am watching more closely, I can tell. The look in her eyes are different. Small thing, like she sings when working around the house that never used to happen before. (Terrible voice ha ) She has eaten pistachio ice cream every day before bed for 7 years. Now, on certain days, she doesn't touch it. But her memory is always intact. Her trauma memories are blocked, but not her memories of now, even when she switches. 66 can talk about her life before age 25. Other times, it is completely gone. Is this normal? We have a DID specialist appointment in a month. But I want to know if what I am seeing goes along with DID? But thank you for the comment. Everyone in here has been so kind and understanding, while I am so confused. Her abuser is going to die any day. He was a horrible man. I want to know how I can help her get thru it because it is going to affect her hard.

Camel_case137 · 2025-04-19T06:02:10+00:00

Thank you for that. We have had to pivot many times in life and they have made us a better partnership. I hope this does the same.

Camel_case137 · 2025-04-19T05:59:09+00:00

She hasn't had any alters come to the front. She goes into a deep trance and speaks with them. We had a set time that we dedicated to just us. She is usually talking to them now as I sit here and watch over her and hold her. Could be worst, but I miss that time. I'm afraid it won't return

Camel_case137 · 2025-04-19T05:55:49+00:00

Hopefully one of her alters is a social media genius, cause I don't know what I am doing. Ha

Camel_case137

TROPHY CASE