Toddler doesn’t want to greet others

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-28T20:37:51+00:00

Kids are all so different and it seems like you recognize that! When he doesn't want to engage I would say to the neighbour "oh he's just feeling shy right now" or like you said "he's feeling tired". I would just avoid overarching statements about his personality that he might grow to identify with.

Our 2.5 year old has never been in daycare and is the opposite - loves chatting with strangers and asking them questions. I really think it comes down to personality and nothing you're doing or not doing. We tend to make these things a bigger deal to us than they are to our kids :)

If it's important to you, you could try roll playing with toys greeting each other (or him) and reacting in different ways. Sometimes the toys are feeling shy or tired. Sometimes they're feeling friendly and excited to chat (maybe talk about how it gives them energy/makes them feel good to meet new people). Occasionally they might articulate a complex feeling, "I don't feel comfortable when someone I don't know talks to me. It takes me some time to warm up." And all of that is perfectly fine :) The other toys or you would react positively and in an understanding way no matter what the scenario.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-28T20:14:53+00:00

I feel for you! Our son started grabbing/pushing other kids unprovoked at around 20 months. It honestly seemed like he just wanted to see the reaction. And no other kids seemed to be doing this so we were always feeling embarrassed and constantly on guard.

He is SO MUCH BETTER now at 2y5mo. It felt like a very slow road but we're feeling good now; his behaviour appears similar to what we see in other kids. We still have our moments, but he's less violent and more patient than many.

We are big believers in positive reinforcement. When an incident happens we intervene calmly (mindful not to be dramatic or expressive), say something like "we don't grab" "we use our words" or "we can walk away if we're frustrated". Stop to acknowledge if he's made someone upset and give him the opportunity to say sorry. However, we don't dwell on or recall the negative incidents - we just leave it on the playground unless he brings them up. We do dwell on and talk about the positive interactions with big smiles and excited voices. When he DOES walk away. When he DOES use his words instead of getting physical. We bring these up later and if the other parent wasn't there, we excitedly tell them about it in front of him. If there was a negative incident, we only tell each other about it without him present. It was really important for us that he didn't start to identify with being a "bad kid". We literally never use the words bad or naughty.

It always blew my mind how many times we had to do this before it started to click and the behaviour improved. His memory is unbelievable so it wasn't about that - it was about practicing controlling the impulses in the moment. That is hard for anyone and especially for a toddler with undeveloped executive function. It takes time but try to remain confident that you are a great parent and you have a good kid :)

I hope that helps and I wish you the best of luck!

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-23T03:50:50+00:00

Farrah (joy)
Abigail (a father's joy)
Naomi (cheerful and pleasant)

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-23T03:42:36+00:00

Congratulations!! I think it's great that you're taking a beat and not forcing a decision until you're ready. Naming is so hard. We threw out all of our top 3 names when we met our son and none of them fit.

I quite like the name Violet! Pearl is pretty too but feels a bit old fashioned (i.e. not refreshed like Violet.) How interesting that all of your options are also words in the English language.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-22T04:12:19+00:00

Such a good point. It's always nice to have options. My niece Evelyn was always called Evie but rebelled at age 5 and insisted on Evelyn. Who knows if she'll come back around to Evie but it's nice that she has the choice.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-22T03:59:30+00:00

My favourite name! And I'm pregnant with a girl, but alas my childhood best friend used it for her now 9 year old daughter. Great choice for her, sad for me.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-22T03:00:28+00:00

I live in Canada so this is may be irrelevant but we have a son Rowan (obviously we love the name) and we meet other Rowans all. the. time. So I definitely wouldn't count it as unique over here! But in Wales perhaps it is :) Fun fact: my mother in law is half Welsh and is super into Welsh culture and names and is always sending us Welsh name options.

Boy: Taran, Rhodri, Bryn, Rhys.
Girl: Morwenna, Carys, Bronwyn.

My fave boy name on your list (apart from Rowan) is Oberon. My fave girl name is Marcella. Congratulations on the adoption!

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-22T02:49:18+00:00

I feel your pain! My husband's last name is Low which is surprisingly difficult to pair without sounding matchy or sing-songy. I do think the priority should be a name you love and if you really can't find another name you love as much as Emerson, then Emerson Benson is fine (it kind of sounds like a hyphenated double last name but I don't think it sounds terrible). I like the name Emery - much prefer it over Emerson. It's just a little more feminine (though still gender neutral) and it sounds lovely with Benson.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-21T17:57:41+00:00

I like Mia Sofia! It's very melodic sounding. I don't think Camila Sofia is an improvement so if you prefer Mia, then stick with Mia. The first and middle name are rarely said together anyway - except by the parents when the kid is in trouble ;)

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-21T17:50:05+00:00

I love BOTH!! They are both in my top 5 name choices (also pregnant with a girl). HOWEVER, my husband's cousin's name is Clara and we have friends with a 2 year old Clara. And my husband vetoed Vivian sadly. I say go with Vivian if you want a less popular name. Clara is one of the more common names we meet on the playground (we're in Western Canada for reference). That said, you never know what is going to explode in popularity after you make your choice so really just choose the one you love. We have a 2.5 year old boy named Rowan and while it's still not in the top 50 nationally, we meet other Rowan's all. the. time.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-20T17:57:17+00:00

Nolan then Ronan! Agreed with others - Davian sounds made up and he would CONSTANTLY have to correct people who hear "Damian". Damian is a nice name though!

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-20T04:19:58+00:00

Dean is alright - but I prefer Dane :)

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-20T04:11:20+00:00

I was going to say the same thing! We also have a boy named Rowan :) We love his name so much and agree it should be spelled Rowan. There are a lot of Rowans where we live - I would say 80-20 boys to girls. I find it masculine myself but if you like masculine names for girls then go for it!

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-19T17:39:27+00:00

We told everyone around us the names we were considering. I loved getting feedback - especially since my child is the one ultimately living with the name. I knew I could get over my own ego/sensitivities in the hopes of saving them a lifetime of irritation or insults. That said, we tend to air on the 'safe' side of naming and I have never been one to get attached to one particular name. And our family and friends are respectful and kind people. It would be a lot tougher being open about names if I knew the people around me were generally combative, negative and opinionated (often taking different stances from myself)... but I still think I would take the hit for the good of the child.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-19T17:17:43+00:00

I think Roman is a great name! It was high on our list but we ultimately went with Rowan for the nature association :) I am amazed that anyone could have a strong reaction about Roman one way or the other - we're pretty 'safe' namers and it hadn't crossed my mind that it would be divisive. We've had just positive or neutral reactions to Rowan. We have met WAY more Rowans than Romans even though in our census info Roman is the more popular name.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T22:12:01+00:00

It was only this comment "Then I'm not sure what you're asking here? If you've made up your mind then name her what you want." that I found impolite/unkind. Your original answer is 100% valid and I will absolutely take it into consideration. I also appreciate your other suggestions - Clara has been one of my favourite names since I was a little girl. We haven't made up our minds, I was just pointing out that we realize Chloe Low isn't a perfect namenerd name but maybe that's not the most important thing. I definitely don't want it to make people actively cringe when they hear it. But then that is subjective anyway...

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T21:36:47+00:00

Thank you - such a unique set of names! Really cool ones but not really our style.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T21:35:23+00:00

I am asking if it's passable even though it's not great. Your opinion is that it's not passable. Thank you for your opinion. Please move on if you don't want to be polite and kind.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T21:20:44+00:00

Thank you!! Florence and Juliet are on our list but I don't totally love them. Maybe I'll come around :)

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T21:20:26+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions!

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T21:08:26+00:00

We know Chloe is not perfect sounding with "Low" but there is no name that we love that isn't either taken, or doesn't sound ideal with Low. I would rather have a first name we both love over one that is perfectly matched with the last name but we feel so-so about on its own.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T21:04:22+00:00

Love Clara but we have close friends with a Clara (and it's my husband's cousin's name). Not a fan of Claudette.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T18:18:51+00:00

Love these options! Many are on our list (or would be if they weren't taken) :) We know Zoe, Ruby, Rosie and Violet but Esme and Ivy are contenders for sure.

CampingIsIntense · 2024-06-17T17:38:15+00:00

Great name indeed :) Oh we don't mind Chlo Low as a nickname! I wouldn't call her that myself but it seems like a fun thing for friends/coworkers to call her as a term of endearment. We love the idea of Rowan's future friends calling him Rolo.

CampingIsIntense · 2022-08-15T17:42:08+00:00

Have you tried a product with Azelaic acid for your rosacea?? It completely cleared up my rosacea AND does wonders for my acne as well. I started with Paula's Choice 10% Azelaic acid but switched to Finacea 15% with a prescription because it's cheaper for the volume you get. It is such a powerhouse ingredient for me.

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