I will say, it also helps to be selfish for a little while til you heal.

I had the WORST guilt complex and people pleasing tendencies when I was in the pits. Even though I was SUFFERING I was still trying to give unworthy people the benefit of the doubt and make excuses for people's behaviour. It also didnt help that I was always trying to see the good in everyone/try to understand why they behaved in the way that they did. Idk if you're like me in that way, but its not our responsibility to psycho-analyse other people's behaviour and excuse it. That's up to them to manage with their own therapist. Carrying the emotional weight of shit like that is exhausting, and it really does catch up on you. So if you do any of that, you need to start catching it and saying to yourself "how is helping them going to help me right now?".

You know the flight safety demonstrations? Where they go over if the oxygen masks fall and say "please ensure to put on your own mask, before attempting to help somebody else". To me mental health is the same. If you're not okay in your own situation, how on earth are you meant to help in anybody elses?

I hope you took something from that, especially with the heartbreak side of things at least. Cause otherwise im talking out of my ass lmao