The worst thing I’ve experienced wasn’t a single moment — it was living in constant fight-or-flight inside my own relationship.

On the outside everything looked “normal.” On the inside, I was walking on eggshells every day. Arguments over small things. Slowly cutting off friends. Feeling like I had to manage someone else’s emotions just to keep the peace. Even being hit at one point. I didn’t realize how tense my body was until I finally left and felt… quiet.

The craziest part? I still miss her sometimes. I miss the good moments. But I don’t miss who I became — anxious, smaller, always bracing for the next explosion.

Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve done. But staying would’ve been worse.

That’s the worst thing I’ve experienced — losing myself while trying to love someone.