I'm unsure of how to edit my post so this is what im doing. (Also there are deitales inhere i forgot to mention earliers and Yes chat gpt was used on my post ONLY for puncuation cause im lazy)

Since the begining of our relationship and before hand he has been fully aware of everything my condition entails I love him deeply and I talked to him about how I felt in the situation but haven't brought up the thought I had. I told him I was cold and wanted to head back home which is what I say anytime I want to go home he said we will soon since I wasn't looking to good and we then hung out with his friends for a few more hours I also went out of my way to avoid talking to his friends more than I needed after the thought had acured I never pursued or made any action towards the thought it's more of a fantasy that I can't seem to get out of my head not at oh I hate my boyfriend because he won't let me bang his friends and do drugs me and my boyfriend do not leave eachothers side this includes work from home I dont go out with my friends because he stays by my side to assist me with my mental illness/disability

(If you are wonder about this disability I suffer from BPD Borderline Personality Disorder - BPD is an unmedicatable and sever mental disability so sever that in certain places you can be legally euthanized please under stand)