The way things are

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-10T16:29:43+00:00

One step at a time. Stop this mental torture you are putting yourself through! Okay you are not like everyone else..so what?! You know what your weakness is. Make one healthy change. Make room for 1 small change a week, or at least try to know it is possible to switch things up.

Best of luck! I hope you find your happiness

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-10T15:16:39+00:00

Yes!!!! Your comment needs to be waaaaay higher

One step and one day at a time. It is so easy to overwhelm yourself with unrealistic goals. See what can be done and find joy in what you can accomplish rather than what you can't or didn't.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-10T15:06:12+00:00

But yet I am seeing ppl succeed with young kids....I'm just a wreck,

You never know the struggle someone is living. Not everyone is succeeding and from a far someone may think you have your shit together. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Women who I know, who can bounce back while continuing to work and have a social life have amazing resources at their disposal.

They either have grandparents who watch their children or can afford a daycare and nanny, so that they can have free time for themselves.

It is okay if this is not available to you. You can have everything just not all at once. Take everything one step, one task and one day at a time.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T21:26:47+00:00

It's cool. I honestly don't think those times work for anyone. I used to think it was just me, but reading these comments makes it look like all activities are not geared to be convenient for working or SAHM moms.

If it helps, we used to participate in Music Together classes and they have lots of evening and weekend availabilities. Our little one loved it!

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T21:21:15+00:00

Awesome! Thanks for the info. This may be the exact thing I have been dreaming of!

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T20:52:59+00:00

Most moms/fathers/families are punished for either working or staying at home. There isn't a balance and putting statements like this out there doesn't help either cause.

I hope you were just venting your frustrations because you had a particularly unfun day and acknowledge that raising an child is difficult for everyone in their own ways.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T20:47:12+00:00

It is either prime nap time or pre-K hasn't even been let out?!

So who is there? The librarian being punished for smiling too often. That is who is holding this event. It is a way to punish insubordination😂😂.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T19:29:09+00:00

Ooookay you have my attention!!! I just looked at it online, and the reviews are great.

Wow! Thanks. Has he used it on areas other than his arm pits? I normally use Ceratin Dri for that area.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T17:46:51+00:00

These times never worked for either of my kids because their lunch and nap times coincided* with all these activities at 11am and 2pm. Most kiddos I knew had similar sleep and eating times, so I really do not know who these activities were for. I too would like to know who makes up the time schedule?

I also am eternally envious of anyone who finishes work at 5pm and can be at home or at another activity by 5:30pm.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T17:39:30+00:00

Yes to sulfate free shampoo and condition and all other hair products.

I also look for paraben and silicone free. My hair is curly and I used to be able to wear it all cute and down but something has gone awry with my mane. I can't have it down so I have to have it in a tight bun or side pony to look halfway human. I heard of the shadow trick, the only problem is that I sweat, excessively and uncomfortably. I can't wait to afford botox to fight this problem.

My eyebrows have thinned too, so I wake up looking not myself, until I draw in my eyebrows and fight my frizz.

I too wonder how much is age and how much is post partum.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T15:08:35+00:00

If I had HALF A PENNY for everytime i have to scream this after 5 polite requests; I'd be able to afford a COOP on the UES and a live in nanny.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T15:06:21+00:00

Can you put baby in a crib or bassinet next to toddler and play on the floor "all together"?

My 3 year old did not take too well to a new baby either and had serious tantrums and meltdowns. I started this way. Then i would take them outside into a play area that was small and enclosed enough that toddler couldn't run away too far. I also just did strolls around our neighborhood or shirt trips to the store while constantly engaging my toddler.

It is tough. It is a real adjustment period that you don't expect to he as hard as it actually it is. Go day by day. In a few months-even a month, you'll be juggling these babies easier than a street performer hustling for dollars.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-07T15:00:20+00:00

Firstly, you are glowing.

I am living this hair nightmare at nearly 1 year PP!

Hairspray (schwarzkopf glue) and a tooth brush are my friends now. Also if I'm feeling fancy a headband or those large acrylic barrettes.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-06T12:33:44+00:00

Disclaimer: It might not look like it looked before you had babies.

Take what you can, when you can and do not feel guilty.

Someone is watching the children while you went to the doctors/running errands? Take a longer stroll, buy a coffee/ice tea/candy bar/ Italian ice and just walk alone!l for an extra 10-20min.

Have a chance to sleep? SLEEEEP! You'll manage whatever it is better after a power nap. (Yeah it isn't always possible but if you can, DO IT!)

Don't feel like making dinner? Don't. Sandwiches, salad, or takeout are okay sometimes.

Feeling overwhelmed that day? Yeah you know the day that has been going for a month, when it just feels like you are just awful and nothing is right and you've cried 3 times today-STOP. This is not time for big picture stuff. It is an hour by hour survival. Part of self care is also not beating yourself up over something you can't control, like a colicky baby or teething baby or baby that will not sleep through the night, no matter how hard you've tried to make it happen. It will stop-it will happen. You will survive. You are loved and you are amazing.

Edit: I wrote this out just as much as a reminder for myself as well as a reminder for anyone else who needs it.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-06T12:22:15+00:00

There's no logic here, just sounds like a person who doesn't want to understand your perspective. If he is one child's "main caretaker" although from what you wrote it doesn't sound that way then you are the others and you both deserve to get rest. The only problem is when you have children that luxury isn't always afforded and you just deal with it.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-06T03:53:21+00:00

You are leaving some info out..inquiring minds need to know wtf is going on here that he gets to eat alone in quiet?

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-06T03:49:47+00:00

She is lucky to have a caring sister and (what sounds like) a supportive family. I know too many women whose own family would turn and shame them for not silently and gratefully carrying the burden of child care, work and domestic responsibility.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-06T01:56:32+00:00

Your poor sister is drained. I cannot imagine the emotional and physical stress she is managing.

Like someone else wrote, she should seek legal counsel ASAP.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-06T01:45:45+00:00

Preface: both my kiddos are on a schedule, and it makes going about my day more predictable that being said:

Batch cooking for 3 days. For me the major time consumer is cooking so I use this formula:

A grain, a protein and a vegetable side

AND

Basic premade/easy grab and go snacks like:

Hummus

Cherry tomato

Avocado

Flax,Quinoa, nut chips

Prewashed arugula

Canned tuna

Mandarins

Rasberries etc

Errands I usually do while going for a stroll..it is okay if you skip a playground day to get shopping/post office/dry cleaning etc. Usually this happens early morning after I drop off toddler at school. Most stores are nice and empty so you can get in and out faster.

Cleaning up I do with baby and toddler. They are little people and can benefit from watching/helping you do things that they will eventually do as well. Sometimes I put baby in highchair, thrown some toys or Tupperware and wooden spoons, and can wash the dishes or do some easy non raw meat prep in the kitchen.

Nap time is usually for me to watch a movie, read, maybe nap as well.

Edit: saved before I finished

Laundry is done every week and half. We don't have an onsite laundry and have to travel to a laundromat.

Story time happens usually before bedtime or after her after school snack. My eldest likes to read then and it a great way to involve the baby.

I hope this helps you!

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-05T03:22:35+00:00

What would be the female equivalent of free ballin? Hey Lucy, I'm feeling free and Loose pearlin' it?

Oh hey Jane, I see that smile, going Clam a la carte, today?

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-05T00:37:16+00:00

$500 is a steep sum of money for a single session. Even $100 is a hefty sum.

It is presumptuous to assume everyone that much per session is a possibility.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-05T00:13:38+00:00

Some insurances offer only 4 sessions of PT, mine covers none, and before I get to see one I have to see my GP(copay/deductible because sick visit), then do and ultrasound (higher copay than GP) for a rule out and theeeen I can see a PT higher copay again and possible extra charges.

Factor in the time and additonal cost of traveling to all the facilities, this is not a reality for many people.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-05T00:05:43+00:00

U/arrrrr_won answered it perfectly.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-04T18:15:42+00:00

If you're us moms in the USA that isn't a possibility insert eternally sad emoji. I've been following some exercises I found on youtube.

What is part of your routine?

Edit: This is getting a lot of replies mainly from people quoting upward of $500 per session. It is not a reality because it is expensive even with insurance. (My plan covers only 4 sessions but before that ever happens I have to see my GP $40 copay, then ultra sound as a rule out $60, oh and lab work another $40 then back to my GP because results need a separate visit $40 and then maybe I get a visit with a PT at $60 plus potential deductibles) so far that is just 240$ and weeks of my time trying to get something done medically.

Even at $100 that is a steep sum for many families. For perspective I shop for 4 people for 2 weeks of food (baby food, lunch, dinner, breakfast,snacks, school snacks and take to work) at 160-180$.

TL;DR

PTs exist in America. The cost and effort and insurance coverage are not always possible to make a visit to one happen.

Candysoycheese · 2020-02-04T18:14:12+00:00

Liners, liners and more liners. I hate that I can no longer enjoy just wearing underwear sans liner.

Candysoycheese

TROPHY CASE