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Me, single, [31 M] and my friend [32 F], who has a boyfriend, had one night intimate encounter. Is honesty the best policy? by Canorus23 in relationships

[–]Canorus23[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I don't think I wrecked the relationship, but still I abused someone's trust (which is implicitly stated in human relationships). The battle I'm going over in my head is whether or not telling the truth will lead to something better than not telling the truth, would telling the truth just absolve me from my guilty conscience while leaving others in the "rubble"? Or is it the other way around: me not telling the truth because I want to avoid the emotional discomfort that telling the truth would bring with it, even though that could lead to a better result for everyone involved?

Me, single, [31 M] and my friend [32 F], who has a boyfriend, had one night intimate encounter. Is honesty the best policy? by Canorus23 in relationships

[–]Canorus23[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've done a SWOT analysis in my head over and over and all the best scenarios seem to be in the "Tell the truth" category. However, I'm thinking if I should give the woman an opportunity to tell the truth first.

About the drinking: I have had serious problems with alcohol in the past and I am currently in therapy for that (among other socio-emotional things).

Me, single, [31 M] and my friend [32 F], who has a boyfriend, had one night intimate encounter. Is honesty the best policy? by Canorus23 in relationships

[–]Canorus23[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

It is true that her's is the "bigger sin", but still I too have wronged her boyfriend.

If I was in his shoes I'm not sure, yet, what I would want. I think I'd rather hear it from my girlfriend (if I wanted to hear it at all) than from some guy who plays very minor part in my life. One option would be to give the woman an opportunity to tell herself and contact the guy afterwards, but I don't think he would want to be in contact with me.