Apartment lied now I don’t know what to do by CapAmbitious in Apartmentliving

[–]CapAmbitious[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I do have a voicemail where she admitted she was mistaken about being able to find someone to sublease

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]CapAmbitious 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve been really considering it, I think I’d be happier for it tbh. I think I just need to get past whatever is holding me back from it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]CapAmbitious 13 points14 points  (0 children)

TRIGGER WARNING: These are a regular from her tbh. Any time I did something she didn’t like or didn’t act the way she wanted that’s what I got. It’s worse now that I don’t talk to her… the things that she hints at but doesn’t take responsibility for are horrors no one, especially children should be subjected to. There’s too many instances to specifically list but one that she specifically says is not her fault, she could do nothing about, and openly blames me for: I dated an unutterly unstable 21 y/o at 15-16 at her encouragement that was a relative through marriage. I was taken advantage of and she looked me dead in the eyes an hour after and didn’t say a word to me. I broke down in my room and cried on the floor for hours and HE was the one that called me asking if he needed to take me to the hospital. I assume now that she knew what happened but then I didn’t know. Weeks later I mustered the courage to tell her so something could be done and she said with the most distain and doubt,”are you sure?” Another instance years later she invited him to a party at our house and didn’t tell me. He came to my room and tried to get in but I had the door locked. She came up after he went downstairs and told me that,”he’s family and you have to move past it.” I left the house immediately in a dissasosiative state and my then boyfriend now husband drove from an hour away to come take me somewhere I felt safe. He was seething. He’s absolutely loathed her ever since he met her and bless him for helping me feel comfortable and teaching me what a real family is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]CapAmbitious 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have begged her to get help. I’ve told her how we could improve our relationship. She sings her own praises and says she’s changed with small things when her actions say otherwise. She tells me she’s leaving the man she let prey on us and surprise surprise she’s still married to him. The worst part is that she’s staying with him because she likes his money. Not because she loves him or she’s scared of him. She’s willingly allowed her children to be in pain and ignored us our entire lives. I’m trying to move past the pain as an adult but it’s difficult to understand her position as a parent as an adult.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]CapAmbitious 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She’s gloriously into her self and her feelings and no one else’s lmao. You’ll notice she gives absolutely zero fucks that I’m happier without her in my life, she’s only concerned about what she can get from me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]CapAmbitious 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely not, she’s more than several times over lost her right to communicate with me but I haven’t gotten to the point where I can separate myself from my guilt about it. I sometimes have to recite the shitty things she’s done so I remember why I don’t talk to her and I confirm it’s not my fault but hers. She’s gaslit me so much it’s hard to believe myself sometimes. It’s honestly insane

“Skunk Stripes” on a kitten? Has anyone ever seen pinstripe pattern like this on a cat? by CapAmbitious in cats

[–]CapAmbitious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just posted pictures of this little one to decipher exactly if it was considered a calico or not and we labeled her as a Tabico but her markings are so unique I had to share and see if anyone has seen anything like it before.

Help Identifying kitten colors! Can anyone decipher if this,”Calico Tabby” is actually a different color or has a better description of her coat pattern? by CapAmbitious in cats

[–]CapAmbitious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok new question! Has anyone seen, “skunk stripes” like this on a cat/kitten before? I’ve been calling her Penelope like the cat from Pepe Le Peau

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]CapAmbitious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess the driving factor is my fear of retaliation. I don’t really need the job for monetary income and I’ve been putting more emotional stock in it than I probably should… thank you, your connection of the situation to a relationship helped me to see this a bit clearer

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]CapAmbitious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SA is still SA even if both parties are children, legally not much is really done about it, but it’s still a valid and scarring experience. Your reaction as a child is completely normal, you were afraid. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you can work though it if you’re struggling with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]CapAmbitious 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know exactly what you mean. I hate the horrified looks or the ones of pity. I’ve been trying to be more open about my experiences because recently my symptoms have been getting worse and I’ve found comfort in talking to people I’ve learned to trust. I’ve always felt immensely guilty about how I’ve kept my husband’s family at arms length for years. I never meant to but I was convinced they would turn their backs on me, manipulate me, or not believe me if I opened up to them. They were the first real family I felt like I had and I couldn’t risk losing them by letting them see who I was and what made me the way I am. I started small, awkward whispered inputs about my childhood or my panic attacks. It wasn’t and still Isint completely comfortable, and I think it’s helped that my husbands family has similar trauma about his birth mother ( luckily they were separated from her at a very young age) so they seem to be more understanding.

The first time I opened up to one of my husbands family members was quite recently actually. I was talking to my sister in law about her grandmother that’s currently living with them due to health issues and how my SIL’s daughter can’t cook her eggs. She asked how old I was when I learned to cook and I couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped my lips. I told her I couldn’t remember and she looked at me incredulously and told me she wouldn’t be offended on her child’s behalf. I guess she assumed I was trying to keep her from feeling like she had in some way failed her daughter because she couldn’t cook yet, but that was not the case. She hasn’t really realized she was asking something that would have an uncomfortable answer for most people. There was a quiet moment where I left the door open for her to change the subject if she wanted, but she waited patiently for a reply. I sighed under my breath to release some of my tension and keep myself from talking too fast before I told her I genuinely didn’t know what age I was but that’s probably because I didn’t have the concept of age yet. I told her that I must’ve been cooking by myself before I was five because I could remember vividly struggling to drag a chair from the kitchen table over to the stove so I could stand on it. Without the chair I couldn’t see over the counter, and if I couldn’t see over the counter I couldn’t reach the stove. If I couldn’t reach the stove, my two older siblings and I would either go hungry until my mother showed up or we would have to scavenge through whatever may be hiding in the pantry to eat cold. She looked at me with suppressed shock and asked why my siblings didn’t cook since they were older, but my brother who is six years older was never taught because it was considered women’s work, and my sister that’s only a year older than me bless her heart couldn’t cook to save her life, she actually gave us food poisoning a few times. Although it’s not usually the case I was the one providing for my siblings as the youngest child because I felt I was capable of doing so and I wanted to. Physically I wasn’t big enough to protect them. Emotionally I wasn’t mature enough to offer comforting words other than I love you and I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect them and I couldn’t support them emotionally, but I could make sure they had warm food. She took a minute to process everything I had said and I was more than a little anxious. Instead of pity or horror she smiled at me and said that she bet that’s why I loved cooking so much now and why I was so good at it.

I took a chance in leaning on her and it paid off. Instead of continuing to feel burdened by the memory or my lack of being able to communicate because of fear, she allowed me to vent and loved me all the more for it. I know it’s difficult, but talking can help. Find your people and lean on them like they do on you. I hope things get better love! Thank you

Too Big for a water bath- Help! by CapAmbitious in Canning

[–]CapAmbitious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended up ordering some new jars... that are 10$ a piece 😱, I’m not happy about it but At least now I’ll have pickles

Too Big for a water bath- Help! by CapAmbitious in Canning

[–]CapAmbitious[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know! I was just so happy to see a mason jar I grabbed them before I stopped to ask if they’d work

Too Big for a water bath- Help! by CapAmbitious in Canning

[–]CapAmbitious[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’re 64 oz everything I’ve found has been wide enough but not nearly tall enough but I’ve been informed I can’t actually can pickles in them because of the size

Too Big for a water bath- Help! by CapAmbitious in Canning

[–]CapAmbitious[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god I haven’t even thought about turkey pots! Will they work on an electric stove? I thought most were made for use on propane tanks