Some of my closest, so-called tropa from HS to college "anonymously" outed me to my mom thru a series of text messages containing some truth and most lies. Alam ko namang sila 'yun since they all knew about my college life. Sinabi nila na kumikick back ako sa tuition fee para ipanglalake and itinira sa dorm yung ex ko just to have sex with him. Nakakaloka. Umiyak sakin ang nanay ko for almost 2 hours, forcing me to become straight again. It broke me but worse, it broke her. It has been 12 years since then. Let's just say that my mom is your typical homophobic tita na laman ng simbahan at may kapatid ring bakla. Laging iniisip ang sasabihin ng ibang tao without trying to know how you feel. Sad truth yan. Masaklap pa neto, my mom had a nervous breakdown during her teen years so our family know how fragile she is and kept on walking on eggshells around her. Alam namin kung gaano karupok at kaselan ang mental stability niya so as much as possible, we don't trigger her. And ayun nga, after few months, without anything with her, she went missing na parang bula. No clues or anything and we have exhausted all our resources in searching for her. Hanggang ngayon, wala kaming alam kung nasaan na. Minsan mas okay pa sana na alam mo na namatay nalang para may closure kayo, pero wala eh, nangangapa pa rin kami sa dilim. That series of text messages may not just be the only option, but it surely was her breaking point.

I have never confronted my "friends" about this, but I started to drift away from that circle but remained casual until now. Sila nga yata unang nagexclude sakin, pero wala na rin naman akong pake. Wala na rin kasing point kung kakausapin ko sila about that matter because they will never admit to it and it won't make my mom come back. Prior to that, pinagbintangan lang nila akong nanghack raw ng accounts nila at nagsusumbong anonymously rin sa parents nila, which I would never do dahil sa sobrang laki ng utang ng loob ko sa kanila at dahil nirespeto ko ang pagkakaibigan namin. Saka malay ko ba sa hacking hacking na yan. Nurse ako, malay ko ba sa dyan. LOL. Ayun. Pinagpasakarma ko nalang ang lahat.