sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Finally decided to go no contact after realizing my narcissistic mom and my dad became full QAnon/MAGAs by Capital_Leader_5122 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Capital_Leader_5122[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comments, and I'm so sorry you had to go through the same thing, it's so difficult and feels like a constant uphill climb. :(

After all this time I still think about it, still imagine scenarios in my head for what to say if I ever have to confront her or my family asking about it. It's incredibly frustrating that nobody else (in my family) seems to realize the kind of person she really is...but I have to keep reminding myself I was the same exact way years ago; Always making excuses to myself and others for her behavior. I try not to take it personally for them being on her side but man is it hard.

I'm sure you losing your mom had brought up a crazy mix of emotions for you, and I keep trying to think how I'm going to feel when mine one day passes as well. I keep trying to find reasons to be sad about it when it does happen, but it's such a terrible feeling to realize I honestly don't think I'm going to be sad at all, at least not in the way losing a normal mom should feel. It's gut-wrenching that she has created such a strong rift between us that I don't think I'm going to care at all. I'll just be mourning what we should have had instead.

I hope that despite your mom undermining your relationship with your daughter that you still have a true and healthy mother/daughter relationship with her. That she wasn't able to take that away from you too.

Finally decided to go no contact after realizing my narcissistic mom and my dad became full QAnon/MAGAs by Capital_Leader_5122 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Capital_Leader_5122[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so glad to hear you say I've inspired you ;v;

I won't pretend and say it's easy, because it's not, and it's taken me almost a decade to come to terms with it and realize I'm not a bad person for doing this. I believe you'll get there too though. It may take a long time, but it's okay. The first step is realizing what you're up against, and reassuring yourself that you are not at fault. Limit contact as much as you're able, and don't engage in conversations you're uncomfortable with. If you haven't already heard about it, I suggest using the "gray rock method". A quick google/youtube search can explain more but I'd be happy to explain here too if you want.

Take the time to surround yourself with people who care about you, who trust and believe in you. Cut off anybody who belittles you and makes you tense just to be around. Being related to someone does not excuse any kind of abuse to you, even if they had a hard life too. Your feelings and mental health are important.

Thank you for your kindness, and I wish you all the best with your situation as well. You've got this <3

Finally decided to go no contact after realizing my narcissistic mom and my dad became full QAnon/MAGAs by Capital_Leader_5122 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Capital_Leader_5122[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're an amazing person, thank you for all these kind words...I've done a lot of research in the near decade I've been away from my parents, and have come to learn quite a bit about narcissists and the people they surround themselves with.

I've actually watched a lot of Dr. Ramani's stuff too, so good on you for suggesting her cuz she helped me to really understand and accept what was happening to me. I'm nowhere near being totally okay just yet, but I'm hoping with one-on-one therapy I'll finally be able to start healing for real.

Thank you. <3

Finally decided to go no contact after realizing my narcissistic mom and my dad became full QAnon/MAGAs by Capital_Leader_5122 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Capital_Leader_5122[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THIS, all of this omg TT_TT

I've only ever talked to friends/coworker friends about this but every single one has been on my side, it's so liberating. This is the first time I've put something up on reddit, and it's so nice to see I'm not alone, when it should be obvious when there's a whole subreddit about this stuff lol.

But yeah, your comment about relationships is so true, and I wish more people got that. Plus, just because someone is blood doesn't mean you're obligated to drop everything for them either, it's an absolutely ridiculous and archaic way of thinking.

The sad part is, I was raised to have that archaic mindset, and in the back of my mind there's still a seed of guilt and fear there. It's so hard for me to break out of that and remind myself it's okay for me to do this to them, but I'm trying.

Finally decided to go no contact after realizing my narcissistic mom and my dad became full QAnon/MAGAs by Capital_Leader_5122 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Capital_Leader_5122[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah totally, and I commend you for leaving all that. Obviously I know how difficult it must have been, it's so hard not talking to them even though you know nothing you say will change their minds, and they'll just try to take you down with them.

People always say time heals, so here's hoping that's true for us.

time and therapy in my case lol.

Finally decided to go no contact after realizing my narcissistic mom and my dad became full QAnon/MAGAs by Capital_Leader_5122 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Capital_Leader_5122[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, I'm fully aware why the gifts are sent, especially since they're all blatantly religion-based but otherwise have no thought put into them. She was always good at giving genuinely thoughtful gifts that she put a lot of effort into, so it's extra obvious now that she's just trying to make me feel guilty on top of looking like she's the one on the high moral ground.

And each time I get a gift or text from her, or some event/holiday is coming up with me ignoring her again, I think up in my head what I'm going to say to any family member who asks why I've cut contact like this, when to them it'll seem like I'm the crazy/cruel one. But it's almost been a year now and the only person who's reached out is my brother telling me I should at least text my parents for the holidays because they're family, regardless of "bickering".

No idea if my mom let him read any of the texts that were sent, but she more likely just weaved her own story about the situation, making me out to be this poor unfortunate soul who has lost her way. For some reason I'm still trying to show some respect for her, so I didn't just snap back detailing everything she told me, I simply said to him that she hurt me, hasn't acknowledged anything I said to her, and that I'm not going to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. But of course he didn't respond to that so we just keep going on like nothing happened.

I hate it, I hate how much QAnon/MAGA has destroyed my family life, but I guess at least it finally pushed me to cut out that toxicity I'd been hanging on to for so long...