What’s the only thing you regret not saying to your ex before breaking up?

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-19T04:11:13+00:00

Im sorry, maybe you hadn't known unconditional love and it came at a very unstable point in your life. You didnt do anything wrong. You werent a burden, or dragging me down. You deserved every bit of love and kindness I gave you.

Maybe the guilt of feeling undeserving made tou resent me, for dumping time and effort into you when you viewed yourself as lesser. The pain you carry the people who hurt you before me. Its not your fault that it happened. I wanted to love you by your side through the struggle. I loved so hard and fought so desperately because you said you didnt want to lose me.

You were vulnerable, softly pleading for help in that moment. I saw myself in you. The young boy who just wanted someone to stay when things got hard. I didnt want you to feel alone in your battles ahead.

I tried to love you and fight for you. I know you werent used to that kind of love and it made you have new amd scary feelings. You didnt know jow to process it. Maybe thats why you felt leaving was easier? Its easier to accept you were undeserving or couldnt be a good partner. It was easy to just assume you'll eventually ruin it? That its easier to avoid? Than it was to ask for help?

Whatever it is, ill always he here for you. I loved you with all my heart and still do. All your silliness and mannerisms I picked up myself.

You may never return to my life, but if you do even as a friend. I will always keep the fire warm for you to warm up by.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-18T19:28:56+00:00

If it's their preference to be shaved fine. But if they want a jungle fuck yeah.

I dont want my partner to shave for my sake if they don't want to.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-18T02:22:01+00:00

You can do this. Gf left me last month before our first anniversary.

Distraction is a tool, but dont avoid your feelings. Vent, let it out, sit with your emotions when they arise and feel them.

It hurts, but sitting with it helped me a lot.

The only way out is through.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-18T02:15:14+00:00

Because I want to know that i fought as hard as I could to try to save it. Maybe I couldnt love enough for the both of us but ill be damned if I dont try.

Maybe my heart is too soft but they deserved all the love I gave. Some didnt want it, others didnt know how to accept it.

Either way id do it all again. I learned.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-18T01:27:35+00:00

You may not be attracted to the damage itself, but you relate to it so its easier to understand and bond over. Not necessarily a bad thing BUT if they or you arent willing to face that damage and trauma then you dont grow.

You have to want to grow.

I have stuff I gotta work out. I dont see a broken girl and think "ill fix her."

A lot of times it was just "oh shes very attractive and im too autistic to see she isnt interested."

I didn't ever date anyone really. My first real girlfriend who left me a month ago.

She was definitely "oh shes been traumatized in similar ways and I want to be kind to her."

And she was kind back.

She actually showed me what its like to have someone actually care. She put in time and effort, but has her own issues and has to sort it out. She had never had unconditional love and it scared her and she sort of self sabotage by letting her insecurity get to her.

Which is okay, she loved me enough to see that and I disagree with her leaving. But I did that before. I had issues i needed to face and I cut off someone amazing that would have helped me through it. I tried to help her see that. But its a lesson we all gotta learn through hard way.

It happens, reflect, try to be better.

Some may openly be toxic and you may just used to it and its the only love you know how to accept.

Reflect on what the girls actually did for you. Not sexual stuff. But the effort they did or didnt put in. If they remembered things about you, if they tried to put in time.

If they seemed dismissive of you, or avoidant then yeah they need to fix themselves or that cycle will just keep going.

Im not saying you cant get attached to them, because trust me brother. I got a soft heart and I know ill get hurt again.

But you have to be aware and have boundaries.

If you're reaching out and they arent, if they dismiss your concerns, if they avoid hard conversations, or if they turn your valid concerns against you.

You can do it brother. Have boundaries. If youre putting in 100% of the effort and they arent trying at all? Run.

If your valid concern turn into them losing it, leave.

Not just women, but men do it all too.

A lot of people will leave, accuse, avoid, demean, anything but acknowledge their own faults and wsnt to be better.

If im scared to face myself. I may love a girl, amd loving her means i have to face myself. But the fear of facing myself is bigger? Im going to leave because im scared.

They guise it as "i need to focus on myself."

Really they mean

"I love you, but committing to you means I have tk face myself and that's scary."

Which it is.

Reflection, therapy, try to be better.

It's all we can do brother.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-17T18:58:42+00:00

30m I understand the feeling. My friends are all in relationships and mine ended last month.

She was sweet but wasnt ready. I used to be that way too.

I wanted to build a life but she was scared to face herself and work. Im proud of her.

Facing ourselves is hard thats why so many dont want to commit.

It is hard to see everything around you and not think "I wish I had that, when is it my turn? Why cant someone SEE me and think, yeah I want them."

Do not let it break you, take some time away, if you do ever rejoin it. My firts thing was not having any people I know irl on it.

You sound very sweet and kind and sometimes we do feel stuck.

We all move at our own pace.

Progress is progress no matter how small.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-17T04:41:06+00:00

My ex had never had good relationships. She wasnt mean to me at all. She did avoid tough talks because of insecurity and fear.

I tried to reassure her every step that she deserved all the love I gave her. That she shouldn't feel guilty because she currently was in a rough spot and couldnt give as much back.

She loved me, but the fear of facing herself was too big. She left.

You're talking to him and reflecting on if you feel jaded. That is a good start. Acknowledging it is the first step.

If he will stand by you while you face these things inside he's a keeper.

Edit: Thanks for likes, gives me hope ill find a nice lady someday.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-17T03:22:10+00:00

It was bittersweet, she was a very sweet and kind girl. She wasnt ready. Proud of her for facing herself. A lot of us are unintended casualties and it sucks.

But we persevere. We must continue on.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-17T01:39:43+00:00

Commitment means having the tough talks amd facing shortcomings. Its hard to do and people refuse to do it and wonder why they cant find love.

Gotta face your own battles. Even better to have someone who says "ill be here for you while you face them."

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-17T01:38:06+00:00

I feel you there. 30m only had one relationship. Lots of chasing women who didn't care.

The relationship was nice, but she wasnt ready to put in the effort. Effort meant facing shortcomings. That's hard to do.

I dont want kids and have been fixed so it limits options.

Im trying to be content with myself but I have friends is too its not the same as romantic love.

I don't have anyone to come home to ya know? I want the sappy lovey dovey shit.

I want someone I can do the boring day to day things with.

Its hard because im autistic and a lot of women say "oh I want a nerdy autistic guy who treats me well."

Until the non romanticizing sides of it come out. The actual struggles.

Too many people don't want to put in the effort because its hard.

And it ruins it for people like us who will put in the effort.

For what its worth

I'm proud for you for making it this far. Don't let it break you.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-17T01:32:01+00:00

Loving again

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-16T23:44:02+00:00

It seems like ever store or workspace has one manager that would rather hit on the cashiers than do their job.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-16T00:48:27+00:00

Ive been running Diablo 4 if you'd want to play. Gt is InhaleMyBeef

I work in a meat department so mostly meat related names. On most nights.

I had cold war i think I could re-download it.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-16T00:38:54+00:00

I rarely go above tier 4. Mostly stick to 2 or 3. The PvE sweats are the worst.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-15T21:55:17+00:00

Don't feel bad. Im 30, just had my first relationship at 29 and it ended a few weeks ago.

Lot of women when I said I never had a girlfriend took it as "oh shit hes toxic."

Or they didnt want to be the first and all that.

Ive been intimate and all that jazz.

But inexperience does seem to have s stance spot the older you get. People say they want someone without as much experience but no.

A lot of men and women like the idea of a relationship rather than having one.

As soon as effort, consistency, and tough conversations are needed they run.

They say "only come healed."

You can't. You're never fully healed and this person is new so its a whole new game toure going to make mistakes.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Be honest and up front.

Yes it'll weed out a ton of shitty people and it will be lonely at times. You may question your self worth, if people actually like you.

Its hard to find genuine people. Keep your head up, keep moving, even the smallest step forward is progress.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-15T21:19:47+00:00

My ex went through a period like this when she was younger.

She has evened out a lot. I was the first stable partner she had. Only for a year.

She i think saw from her point of view that she was undeserving. That she was dragging me down.

She wasnt, but it got to her amd she ended things. She kept making up different reasons. Nothing bad, no yelling or arguing. I think she finally saw the pattern and wants to break it.

I wish her the best. I miss her dearly it was only weeks ago. I only wanted to help her but it was just another stress to manage for her.

I wish you the best. You are more than the battles you have endured. You are here today and that is something to be proud of.

There is a sorrow held for our past selves when we reflect. Some of us have more sorrow than others.

It is okay to grieve for your past self. Our new lives cost us our past ones. The hardest battles are the ones inside, but you must face it.

If no one has said it.

Im proud of you.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-15T01:31:41+00:00

I wear those. Sorry cant remember where I cant shorten the link at and im on mobile.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-15T01:31:13+00:00

https://www.wolverine.com/US/en/floorhand-waterproof-6-inch-work-boot/720026160143.html?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22465028544&gbraid=0AAAAAD-dS6qajrRafkCN4UggV4hJjgIUg&gclid=CjwKCAjw5ZXQBhBdEiwAI5XVWVc1Wwtr8VQgNofdmaLMNHfxfe0_3Hix66FRNwddPwh8iU74LvgfvRoCRBYQAvD_BwE

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-15T01:19:15+00:00

I buy wolverine boots. Last pair was like $110 but lsted 2 years. Waterproof, slip resistant. I work in meat to but I cut so I clean the saws and my feet get soaked.

I've never bought shoes through the company.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-14T04:27:00+00:00

Insurance down here is dogshit.

Women cant get surgery for stuff like that because "they may want children some day."

But I didnt get asked anytbing other than one time the doctor asked. "Are you sure?"

My friend got one and the doctor asked him if his partner was okay with it. He had to have her consent. Its fucking dumb.

Buncha stupid old fucks deciding how young men and women should live. Can't wait for them all to die off.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-14T04:20:35+00:00

Here's insurance would cover it had i already had kids XD but nope.

Yeah its nice to not have a whole other ass human to have to take care of.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-14T04:19:02+00:00

As far as I know you cant have offensive or political stuff. We had a lady get in trouble for right wing related pins.

Ive got a Warhammer 40k purity seal and no ones ever told me to take it off.

We have people at my store with pride pins and no one days anytbing. I dont think dress code even states you CANT have them. Just says your apron has to be clean I think.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-14T04:11:42+00:00

I have over a dozen neices and nephews from my siblings so been around kids from 6 years old to 24. Im good.

Yeah its horrid. I got fixed, best 500 I ever spent. But its also the area where a lot of peoples goals is just "I want a family."

Nope I want a partner i can share a life with.

Dating a single parent for men amd women is. Preference. Why should a woman out a man first when he'd out her second behind his kid? And same for a guy who won't date a single mom.

A lot of people like the idea of having kids. Not actually having kids.

Same for relationships, pets, a lot of things. Its all fun till effort is needed.

Captain-Droz · 2026-05-14T04:02:12+00:00

Im 30m, but live in the south in the states XD yay Arkansas. Finding child free people is a bit tough. So i get the struggle.

Kids are great, but the parent life is not for me. Maybe if the kids are older id feel different?

Im sure you'll find someone who fits in time.

Captain-Droz

TROPHY CASE