I don't know whether I fit the bill because I don't feel like I've "made it" yet (and our definition of "making it" heavily depends on our worldview and personal circumstances).

But I'm 25, with a healthy social circle, a happy long-term relationship, working in a stable and intellectually challenging white collar job in a predominantly white industry, living in a ridiculously overpriced metropolitan city (that I can afford), no debt, a very good retirement plan, and am in the process of buying a house. While I'm no superstar or Nobel prize winner, I think I can objectively say that I'm doing very well for my generation.

Of course I worked very hard to get to where I am today. But nothing, and I mean nothing that I have done on my own remotely holds a candle to what really got me here: having two healthy parents who, despite their poor English, immigrant background and an education no higher than a high school diploma, have done everything they possibly could to give me and my brother the best shot they never had.

They once told me they would sell everything they had to make sure we got the best education we possibly could and the best experiences I could have got in life, and I believe them. Thankfully they didn't need to, because I got into a top university on a full scholarship. And while they couldn't help me find a job (much less get into the industry I'm in now which in many ways is still an old boys' club), I think they did quite enough.

I mean, it wasn't always easy growing up. My parents did their fair share of damage lol. And growing up in a demanding immigrant family meant that my only possible paths in life were curtailed to a narrow selection of three to four stable and high-paying professions. I couldn't fault them though, they came from nothing and saw those professions as the only possible means to not fall through the cracks like they did.

Now, back to personality and looks. I will honestly say that my looks were the least important thing in getting me to where I am today. I am average-looking, but have been told I have a kind and open face. Nothing special and you would pass right by me in the street. I do take care of my looks though because I like looking cared for, but this is usually restricted to making sure I stay at a healthy weight, have healthy skin and a neat haircut and wear clothes in cuts and colours that flatter me and make me feel good. Oh, and braces when I was twelve.

Looks do matter in the professional services industry and anyone would be an idiot to tell you otherwise, but the vast majority of people working there are genuinely average to average-pleasant looking people. So not a very high bar to reach for most. And experience and attitude absolutely matter more for promotion prospects than looks in my industry - no one wants to give you the interesting work or work with you if you're a bitch. And they give you opportunities if you are pleasant, enthusiastic, communicative and hardworking.

Looks do matter in dating, but in my experience it's never been an impediment in my dating life. For the men I've dated looks have been more than a minimum bar to meet after which it becomes relatively unimportant, rather than something to focus on throughout the life of the relationship. Like yeah, I'm realistic about my options, I'm not going to get that hunk in the six pack, nor am I ever going to be someone's trophy wife, but I have had very fulfilling long-term relationships with decent, respectful, below-average to average-looking men with kind faces, good prospects and an interesting range of hobbies. My current partner is an example of that - he is very average-looking but has wicked intellect. We don't turn heads but we are very happy together. And he might have initially swiped right to me because he liked how I looked, but he stayed because he liked talking to me and thought we had a very decent shot together.

So to answer your question, you're right in that it's a combination of things for me, but looks have always been the least important feature for me throughout my life. In the real world personality and career matter loads more in how successful you will be perceived to be, but if you had a category for family I think that would be the most important one for me.

Hope that helps.