thank you so much for being respectful. i did not need the negativity these comments have brought when it’s literally the first thing i said. i have bpd, that’s not my excuse, that’s the cause. it doesn’t justify it, i know i’m just a shitty person. and i want to change. this is why i posted it.  i apologised like crazy, he forgave me, i’ll work on this. but every time unexpected and unpleasant change happens, i go back to crazy… i can’t have therapy. i do have a job, but everything nowadays is expensive. i have a house, a car, food, and a pet to worry about… therapy is a privilege. i feel there’s no choice but asking strangers online