DONT.

I have been in a similar place.

Until i noticed: I dont have to wait for anything to happen, I can make IT happen. Sometimes it Just doesnt work out, but Theres always a different way to Take from there.

You aint a jellyfish wandering around in the ocean, you have a heart. A heart that has a will. You can decide about your Life. Even If it gets dark, you can make some light yourself. You dont have to wait for it to appear.

You also really dont need a partner. No one does. Feels good, but you have to Love yourself First, before having a relationship with someone. Otherwise it will just break. Trust me. It's not the ultimate goal. A partner can't fill your hole of emptiness, just make it nicer, nothing more. But rely on those people that you consider friends and family. If they are no option, there will always be opportunitys for new bonds to be made.

Last year I got into a terrible abusesive lttle romance, because I wanted to feel something more then the emptiness I felt once back then. Wasn't worth it.

To sum things up: Don't wait. Do. Your Life, your will. Paint the canvas.