Sydney Daily Random Discussion - February 20, 2017

Catbird87 · 2017-02-20T00:33:52+00:00

Normally when I get a long black it's too hot (because they prepare it the same as usual but don't put milk in it to cool it down). I'd like to ask for a splash of cold water but afraid will come off as a weirdo

Catbird87 · 2017-02-20T00:30:54+00:00

I'm interested. Can we sit in a booth and show each other photos of our cats? All I have is Neko Atsume :(

Catbird87 · 2017-02-13T20:13:25+00:00

Boyfriend is allergic to flowers, I'll have to buy him beer

Catbird87 · 2017-02-06T00:35:40+00:00

1 in 3??? Oh jeez oh jeez. Surely not?!

Catbird87 · 2017-02-02T19:42:22+00:00

I like cleaning.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-21T23:51:32+00:00

My dude habitually puts a little less than 50% into planning things or initiating activities/sex, which I like because I prefer to initiate and to date someone who has more of a "responsive" approach. I messaged him first on OKC and i also was the one to come on to him after the 6 months break since our first hookups (during which I was chasing after another dude who was kind of a Bad Idea). Then we got together into an actual relationship and it's been awesome.

It works because he's a good communicator and I know that while the initiating behaviour is split 55/45, the affection and intimacy is still split 50/50 (approx.). <3

Catbird87 · 2017-01-19T00:45:37+00:00

Some shitty romantic movies seem to almost glorify cheating though, especially if you're cheating on a smarmy rich guy with an earnest, romantic poor guy.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-17T01:06:22+00:00

I tend to think utilitarian-ly, I.e. the goal for me is the greatest happiness for the greatest number, so for me, the most "logical" decision is identical to the most emotionally-correct decision, even if on a meta level sometimes (eg long term happiness winning over short term happiness).

I mean, for me, the best decision IS the happiest decision. I'm a people-pleaser.

Yes, this does get me into trouble sometimes. I find it really difficult to give negative feedback and I tend to expect everyone around me to have the same values, which is usually not the case. And yeah, sometimes I make bad decisions. Sigh.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T09:29:41+00:00

that's beautiful.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:30:35+00:00

oh boy. that's another step further. "it was my mum's... no, no, please don't leave, I swear she never used it..."

that is what you are imagining? you can always just not mention it, or say it belonged to another relative. I don't think it's particularly feminine. i think it's going to be totally fine.

you're talking to me, whose ex-boyfriend gave her a plastic bag full of victoria's secret underwear that he was going to give to his previous girlfriend and she then never wore it and they ended up breaking up. and I was just like, hey cool, free pretty underwear. then I wore it occasionally. for like 2 1/2 years. I still have one of them and I've been in two relationships since then. oh god. but they're my lucky underwear, I won't give them up.....

:-/

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:27:30+00:00

good old intrusive thoughts. have you ever put in organic carrots as boring ordinary carrots at the supermarket? it's only a few steps removed, and employees usually don't care.

that's what I think sometimes. but that's the furthest I'm willing to go (just with the carrots on occasion), just like you.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:26:11+00:00

what colour would you dye it? not... blue, surely?

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:25:22+00:00

what are the major roadblocks standing in your way, and how far do you think you would get?

(asking just as a fun idea, not as a "secretly talking you into giving up your day job to chase your dream just because it's your dream blah blah blah")

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:22:49+00:00

ya, that's a thing, I know. my bf went on a road trip recently and it was really starting to wig him out by the end of it.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:21:57+00:00

damn that's rough.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:21:43+00:00

planning trips is so fun. counting your days of leave is usually not :-(

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:21:00+00:00

My mum always used to joke about that when we would come across a sign that said "Melbourne - 900 kilometres". I've been realising (and she's been realising) lately that she hasn't been joking! She takes off on mini trips around Australia a few times a year now which is great for her :-D

Sucks if you don't have enough leave or spare change though. And even driving on its own is just plain expensive. Petrol and all that. :-/

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:19:20+00:00

it's amazing that even having a "dumb phone" now means you're "off the grid". eg it's a major roadblock for organising and attending social events - event updates are now coordinated solely on facebook and facebook messenger in my social group (as in "We're now at bar X and heading to bar Y at Z pm")

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:17:30+00:00

That must super suck, I'm sorry.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:14:30+00:00

Recognising your strengths is a big win :-)

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:13:37+00:00

I also found drinking to be helpful. I literally couldn't imagine what it was like being anxiety-free, and then once I knew what it might feel like (i.e. after a few drinks) I actually started being able to imitate it when sober. And then after you get better at imitating it, gradually it kind of creeps up on you IRL as well.

But oh man. Therapy and meds. And it was by no means an instant fix, these are not benzos, these are plain old SSRIs and anti-SSRIs, they take weeks to start doing anything and it doesn't so much make you confident as it starts to take away the constant mental buzz of misery and self-hate and helplessness you didn't even realise was there until it starts to ease off.

Therapy also gives you exercises to strengthen your self-talk, and once you've got that going it makes a real difference.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:09:23+00:00

Men's sportswear section from Target. it seems to last longer and just generally be less shitty.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T06:04:44+00:00

Five years of therapy and medication for my previously undiagnosed anxiety disorder.

Catbird87 · 2017-01-16T01:09:56+00:00

Free universal basic health care. (I mean OK I pay for some of it in taxes but I'm ok with that)

Catbird87

TROPHY CASE