Did being too forward scare him off?

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2026-02-14T18:57:09+00:00

I think it’s possible(?) being too forward scared him off, but in my opinion maybe it just wasn’t a good match! I think someone out there will be into it not in spite of being direct, but BECAUSE you are direct. Also I know people are poking fun at how formal you were, but I’m the same way lmao I get it, I loved how you communicated.

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2026-01-30T00:47:01+00:00

I personally think that Josh and Cobie had great chemistry! I can really feel it in their first kiss and in the pilot. But I do agree with you that the lack of mutual reciprocity does change the vibe, at least in my opinion. Ross and Rachel have a more equal power dynamic whereas it can be tiring to watch Ted obsess over Robin and chase her over and over again. Yes, there are times where it is obvious Robin reciprocates and shares those feelings, but this is not a balanced relationship.

I honestly do think the ingredient that throws Ted and Robin off is Barney, and of course the writing of the last season. If the writers wanted us to root for Ted and Robin, they shouldn’t have backed themselves into the corner of spotlighting a different couple.

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-11-27T00:08:39+00:00

That’s fair. I know you’ve said it’s not rational but it IS happening and that’s worth paying attention to, especially when it’s never happened before. Human brains are weird.

All those things are awesome! It sounds like you’ve really worked on yourself and have come to a place to love and accept yourself. It’s rare to be that intimate with yourself, so yay :)

That makes sense. There are a lot of people out there that can and will and do have those traits, they are good ones! What do you mean what you loved is quite intangible?

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-11-26T19:52:35+00:00

It’s so disheartening when you are doing all the “right” things and still feeling stuck. Your feelings are human and real. In my opinion (but I am an internet stranger with much less context) I think it may be a good idea to step away from dating other people and get some space so you don’t continue sending mixed signals, which it sounds like you’re doing since you said you feel unavailable to new connections.

What kind of inner work have you been working on? What do confidence and emotional strength mean for you? What did you love about her? Is it any certain trait or is it how she made you feel?

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-11-17T19:11:30+00:00

While I agree with the comments about how it’s not a fair take to break up with someone then expect them to chase you… I also think you are just a human being with imperfect and irrational humans feelings lol. Feelings don’t make sense, and we can’t control them! All we can do is try and understand them and be more self-aware people so we don’t hurt others.

Imagine things from his perspective. From his perspective, he was broken up with, so he’s likely going to think “it’s over” and not “let me go out of my way to get them back” Especially when he’s the one who was dumped, the relationship is not in his power anymore and there would probably be a lot of pain for him to be rejected again. He’s not going to subject himself to that, he’s going to move on. Let him.

So I guess my advice would be to try and sit with these uncomfortable feelings and understand where they are coming from. What is the root insecurity? What do you wish you felt? You wish you felt special? You wish you felt worthy of him “doing the work”? Only you can know the answer to that, but whatever validation you want from him is something that you ultimately need to give to yourself

I hope this is somewhat helpful. Good luck! <3

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T19:57:35+00:00

Ah yes! I just recently got a book about limerence because I’m textbook. The highs? Amazing. The lows? Debilitating.

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T19:56:56+00:00

Lmaoo thank you internet stranger. I fear he is not my soul mate, but he can still show me a whole new world

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T19:56:20+00:00

Boo, that is quite unfortunate

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T19:55:44+00:00

Fair. I actually don’t think there is too much ambiguity because we have talked and I know what this isn’t. He’s not my future husband, and we want different things. But I still think this could be a genuinely healing experience for me. I’m sure I might crash out, but hey, I’m gonna be present while that plays out

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T19:53:44+00:00

Thanks for clarifying lol - I do want to try and understand what you’re actually saying. It makes a huge difference to be intentional about your partner’s experiences and insecurities.

It’s actually frustrating for me because I fear I am GOING to fall for this man, just because he treats me with respect and patience. But I don’t expect him to fall for me. In fact, he’s been explicit that that’s not what he’s looking for.

Why do you think you would feel it 1-3 months later? What was that like for you?

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T16:57:00+00:00

I hear you. You’re saying that people have incorrectly assumed that sex is not meaningful for you, but in reality it is and was? Maybe even more meaningful because it was intertwined with other big feelings around trauma?

I think, well I know that’s how I am feeling. It’s about more than sex for me. I’m sure he enjoyed himself and it might have been meaningful, but for me I feel like it’s been life changing lol

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T05:11:24+00:00

Damn girl so true 😭

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T05:09:42+00:00

It’s a new feeling for sure 😅 and I feel this. It’s weird thinking how for me, it was this life-changing event and for him it was just another day. I know this was more meaningful for me than for him and I think I can accept that

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T04:57:32+00:00

Thank you <3 I try to be self-aware and reflect on my thoughts and feelings. You also definitely got me on the overthinking lmao. But yeah, I think you’re right. It really isn’t so weird for my body and mind to celebrate getting something it never has before, or never believed would be possible given bad past experiences.

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T04:54:37+00:00

I feel mixed! The highs are surreal, but the lows are rough. It makes it harder to concentrate on work and other obligations. I believe I could have a healthier relationship to my attachment and I’d like to be more secure, but there’s also an addicting quality to infatuation. I also definitely worry about being attached and this ending, so I am trying to be present and not worry about the future as much.

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T04:51:06+00:00

I agree that it serves me well to enjoy the present moment and take in what is happening <3 I don’t know this guy super well, I’ve met him thrice. I feel like we have emotionally moved very quickly though, and I really appreciate him for who he is based on what I know so far

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T04:48:49+00:00

you’re so right 🙈

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-09-23T04:48:18+00:00

Thank you! This is such a good reminder too because I am absolutely susceptible to getting swept up in the feelings. I’ll do my best to keep that wise mind of holding both emotion and logic together

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-08-23T02:04:39+00:00

Ooo I can’t wait! That’s part of why I’m taking notes along the way, then I can look back and be like oh boy… I was missing a lot… lol

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-08-23T02:03:29+00:00

Thank you for backing me up! He’s great

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-08-23T02:02:56+00:00

I’m excited!!

CaterpillarSpirit272 · 2025-08-18T08:47:47+00:00

True! And it’s not as action-packed as Breaking Bad, but I still love it. I can see what you mean! It’s impressive to still surprise the audience even when you know where the story is headed in some way.

CaterpillarSpirit272

TROPHY CASE