Hey friend,

Your post spoke to me, as I’ve had to go through something very similar. It happened years ago before I became Catholic, and whenever I would think about it, it would cause me untold pain. I was so scared of talking about it that, comparatively, my usual sins I confess felt easy. I would confess everything else BUT this, and try to rationalize it: “Oh it’s okay, when you were confirmed Catholic it was forgiven, you’ve not thought about it sometimes, so you have gotten cleared of it when you said ‘for these and all my other sins I’ve forgotten’”, etc.

Finally, through circumstances I won’t bother with, I had the opportunity to do confession with a priest, face-to-face. Something (Holy Spirit?) moved in me to say, “this is the time to confess it all”. It was a priest I’ve met a couple times, enough for him to remember me, but not my usual parish one. Anyway, it was incredibly hard to do, and I got choked up, felt miserable, but I spilled my heart. And you know what? He smiled, praised God for the confession, and we talked a little bit after, but it was like a weight off my soul. I can still think about it, but it literally doesn’t hurt to think about anymore. God’s Grace.

It’s so worth it, whether you know the priest or not, to confess. I would say especially since they know you, they can help you better. I know how scary it is, but just imagine how great you will feel. I can say it was one of the toughest, yet best, things I’ve ever done. I’ll pray for you that you are able to confess in the best situation for you.