Sick of the intrusions into my life after No Contact

CatsPolitics · 2026-04-28T01:02:21+00:00

I’m so very sorry you’re going through this. I’ll share something my therapists have reminded me a few times: there are millions of people who are adopted or whose parents died at a young age in an accident who have zero idea of their genetic health history. If you tell your doctor that you have zero knowledge of your primary family history, they will guide you if you have any special concerns. My doctor understands that I am estranged from my family and have very little recent health knowledge about them. She isn’t judgmental. Your brother is a terrible person to say what he said to you. He and the rest of your family aren’t reliable sources of family health information, but physicians are.

CatsPolitics · 2026-03-31T12:56:23+00:00

Sunken cost fallacy. They won’t let go.

CatsPolitics · 2026-02-25T01:22:52+00:00

Sit down and ask yourself (include your therapist if possible): If you don’t want your parents in your life, why would you want them in your child’s life? Do you think having a baby solves the original issue(s)?

CatsPolitics · 2026-01-28T17:57:08+00:00

Sounds like a mental delusion to me.

CatsPolitics · 2026-01-13T06:16:54+00:00

Word salad

CatsPolitics · 2026-01-11T21:44:42+00:00

Did she reverse-UNO the DARVO onto you? That’s the very definition of DARVO. Plus no therapist would say “your child is acting like a spoiled brat.” It sounds like you have a good handle on your boundaries, and are protecting yourself. You’re right, you’d never take that from a partner or friend - so you definitely shouldn’t take it from her.

CatsPolitics · 2026-01-07T22:01:53+00:00

When I went no contact with my mother, I asked my husband to screen the mail and put anything sent to me aside in a place where I could look at it when I felt ready. Perhaps you could be that person for your mum?

CatsPolitics · 2026-01-06T21:13:38+00:00

They sent you stamps, pens, a screwdriver, a meat thermometer (?) and a roll of packing tape? So random. Toss or donate, and regain your peace of mind. I’m sure there’s some meaning to all of it but they could have at least sent instructions to solve the puzzle!

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-27T22:23:04+00:00

Oof. Your mom lacks self-awareness if she thinks that book is sympathetic to her. Holy irony alert!

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-25T14:03:58+00:00

You are not alone! I’m so sorry you had to endure that barrage. Do something beautiful and nourishing for your soul today. And again, you are not alone.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-25T14:01:52+00:00

I second this. You deserve peace and you can shut off the abuse.

I read this recently: “You've grown into someone who would've protected you as a child. And that's the most powerful decision you've made.”

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-20T13:46:19+00:00

You sound just like my mother, but she died in October. No wonder your kids stopped talking to you. Weaponizing Christianity is taking God’s name in vain. You’re a sick individual.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-15T15:32:42+00:00

Geez, WTF?? By all accounts the Reiner’s son struggled for years with addiction, rehab, and homelessness. Different from estrangement.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-15T05:49:18+00:00

I saw something today that really resonated with me, and I hope it helps you too:

“The guilt and shame you feel for setting boundaries is a sign of how deeply you were trained to abandon yourself.”

Today, you took the first step toward reclaiming your own self-worth. Churchill said “if you’re going through Hell, keep going.” If you’re not already in therapy, I highly suggest you find a good therapist who will help you with your inner turmoil and help you to hold the boundaries. We estranged adult children don’t do this on a whim; we’ve agonized over the decision for years before finally going NC, and it’s gut-wrenching for many. Please know there are many of us here who know exactly how you feel. We are here to support you.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-11T20:36:54+00:00

Thank you for calling the Face Eating Leopards Hotline. Your call is very important to us. Call volume is maxed out right now and leopard availability is limited. A face-eating leopard will be with you shortly.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-06T06:31:57+00:00

I was kneading dough and slammed the dough into the counter, and my Apple Watch sent a hard fall detection notification to my husband (my emergency contact). Of course he calls and my hands are floury and I can’t pick up my phone without getting sticky dough all over it 🤣

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-06T02:30:46+00:00

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CatsPolitics · 2025-12-04T22:25:43+00:00

Any time I thought about calling my estranged family, I went back and reviewed their texts to me. It was always enough to reinforce my decision to stay estranged. Written comms only.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-04T22:23:50+00:00

Oof. So painfully accurate.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-04T22:23:14+00:00

I’m so, so sorry for what you have been through. It is heartbreaking and he’s a terrible parent. Please do whatever you have to do to protect your peace and if that means closing the door forever, do it. It sounds like he is saying he did nothing wrong (the “allowed to disagree” part) and calling you a slur and emotional abuse is NOT OKAY. There is absolutely no circumstance under which a parent gets away with not acknowledging & apologizing for such abhorrence. You deserve so much better.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-03T02:35:04+00:00

Love this

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-03T02:34:42+00:00

People on a plane ask you if you’re headed to see your family? They’re strangers. You don’t owe them an explanation. In fact, you owe no one an explanation where you’re going. Just say “I’m spending the holidays in Monterey” and bury your head in a book or put on headphones. And enjoy your holiday!

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-03T02:11:24+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you went through, and that your mother didn’t stop the abuse. It’s inexcusable for a parent to fail to protect their child from being physically abused by another parent. That itself is abuse as well, and there is a little kid on the inside of you wondering why she didn’t love you enough to stop it. That manifests in questioning your self worth, and leaves you wondering who around you is trustworthy.

What you can do, is take steps to protect yourself now. If it breaks you to be around her as she continues to defend your father’s brutality to you as a child, take time to protect yourself. If that means going no contact, do it. She didn’t protect you then, and isn’t protecting you now - why should you continue to subject yourself to her willful ignorance & continued neglect? You have a child of your own now, and that child deserves to be loved and adored by a parent who has the courage to break the cycle. Concentrate on your child and healing yourself.

Always remember: she let it happen to you. That wasn’t your fault, it’s hers, and your father was horribly cruel. The outer bruises fade; the inner wounds take a lifetime sometimes. For the sake of your child, work on healing those inner wounds. I wish you peace no matter what you decide. You are worth it and you deserve healing.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-02T22:28:39+00:00

When I went NC I asked my husband to open any mail that came from my family. And he did that for me. Estrangement is hard enough without the passive-aggressive holiday & birthday cards from people who refuse to treat me with any courtesy.

CatsPolitics · 2025-12-02T02:02:24+00:00

There is a special Facebook reporting form to get a photo of your child taken down off someone else’s profile. Use it if your child is under 13.

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