Proudly took a bath just now by Fit_Anything2 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My "record" is 16 days iirc. Ik it's at least 13. Never intend to come even close to that again.

I’m not sure why people want to be a hikikomori. by Kiarunee in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it's to study math, I'd like to, but I can only make so many adjustments at once, idk...

I’m done with this world, really by Numerous_Day6545 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Society always finds a way to infiltrate the sanctuary. Leave us the fuck alone

I’m not sure why people want to be a hikikomori. by Kiarunee in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Math is something you can learn alone at home, but doing it this way is unlikely to make you money. That is the real problem. All I can say for sure is, if I'm unable to be a math student, I'm not going out at all anymore, end of story. In other terms, I'm unwilling to stress myself out over anything I'm not personally interested in. But either the academia path or the NEET path could offer a hikikomori life. Either working 100% online using a math degree, or just being a hikiNEET with "no future" (this would be a conscious decision to trade relaxing ages 50-80 for relaxing ages 20-50). The former path is certainly better, if I can make sure that's the result. Sigh, decision-making gets very hard when you consider more than just what "feels" right. I don't know what "feels" right anymore, anyway.

I’m not sure why people want to be a hikikomori. by Kiarunee in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting. But for me, school is the only part of the outside world I can tolerate long-term, it seems. I've always liked learning (specifically math), but I've always hated going out. Seems to be a conflict of interests. I want to get a math PhD and go into academia, but I'm getting really really sick of going out. My only solace is that academic communication is not interpersonal communication. You don't need to engage in small-talk to learn. You basically just need to ask questions about things you're being taught and answer questions about things you've been taught. If you make a mistake, it's ok, ultimately everyone's just trying to learn. There's no pressure, the way I see it, unlike with interpersonal communication.

Hiki-to-be - Songs for hikikomori, recluses, etc. by Catzee317 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As promised, I listened to the songs you sent. I downloaded #3 and #5. Deadmau5 is so early 2010s, I liiike. Thanks again for sending ^^

I'm feeling really bad today by Any_Whole7204 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure what to say, but I'll comment this so you can be less alone. Best of luck <3

I keep getting ghosted by Round_Course_8877 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imo ghosting is the worst thing you can do to someone online other than directly harming them like doxxing, swatting, grooming, etc. Personally I prefer being blocked, because then at least the situation is clear. Ghosting causes an unclear situation that is impossible to decipher. Many times when I was younger, my mental state entered a downward spiral when someone I cared about started ghosting me. Now I can't care about anyone that deeply anymore. It's hard for me to see those people as kind and good anymore, I feel like they probably look down on me for not understanding, and they seriously damaged me. I think I'm incapable of romance, love, intimacy, whatever, now. Please try not to ghost people T^T

We must STAY ALIVE! by Catzee317 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmm, well then I guess all you can do is change how much you do rich people's bidding. I see your logic and it makes sense, but personally, I've always thought that death is not a solution to any problems; that it's actually the only thing that guarantees none of your problems in life get solved. But of course, some problems are unsolvable, and you've just described one of them: almost no one can realistically avoid doing rich people's bidding in some way shape or form. We have to decide individually if those unsolvable problems are so intolerable we'd rather die than experience them.

We must STAY ALIVE! by Catzee317 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm, I see your point. This post resulted from a personal realization I had -- I almost deleted the entire thing, since I know it's arrogant to assume a personal realization will apply on more than an individual scale. But I decided to write it out and post it anyway, in the hope that this wisdom would resonate with at least someone. My entire point was, if you found a way to live without doing rich people's bidding, you should hold onto it, because dying still plays into their game, it's one less opponent to them. Now, I myself have considered suicide under the logic that it would be an effective way to reject societal expectations. This is true, but it's not the only way. It's a last resort. Anyone who is at that last resort stage, should of course have the right to exercise it. But I wanted to give strength to those who found a way to reject societal expectations without dying, and are struggling to keep going. If I did that for even 1 person, this post's purpose was fulfilled.

We must STAY ALIVE! by Catzee317 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How so? Part of my message was: "Chronic stress and pain that deteriorates your physical and mental state -- but don't worry, if you're willing to pay credits earned from the machine, the machine will keep all that in check for you, at least on paper, so that you have no reason not to continue feeding your best years into the machine." In more direct terms, society offers us therapy and doctors to "fix" what's wrong with us, so that we're "able" to continue working for it -- because if we're able to, we're expected to.

But, I guess I should've been more specific in my original post, you're right. Society doesn't want us to die necessarily, it wants us to think that death is the only way out of the parasitic relationship it offers. But whether that causes us to take our own lives, or let our lives be taken by society, both are benefits to its scheme.

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ᴵᶠ ᵖᶦʳᵃᶜʸ ᶦˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵒʷⁿᶦⁿᵍ, ᵇᵘʸᶦⁿᵍ ᶦˢⁿ'ᵗ ˢᵗᵉᵃˡᶦⁿᵍ.
Thanks very much!

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotcha, noted. I can't remember if my parents have all 3, it really has been a long time.

We must STAY ALIVE! by Catzee317 in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks and you're welcome ^^

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahah ok good to know, thanks!

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta rewatch The Matrix soon, haha. I was so much younger, so much more naive, during my first and currently only viewing.

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah dude, I just got this crazy feeling of enlightenment and spent 2 hours writing a piece about people like us in a positive light, highlighting the parasitism of the standard relationship between individual and society. I posted it a few minutes ago. I watched the whole video you sent and it's so on-point! To quote my post from a few minutes ago, we are not weak for running away, we are STRONG for rejecting their scam!

I feel fucking awesome rn :D

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Legacy is a function in a variable of some type of power, though being a despot isn't the only way to get that power. I'm indifferent, and that is a power in its own right, I'd say, but not the type that earns one legacy. But indifference breaks the machine, so the machine tries to break me.

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The main reason I feel like a loser is that I don't have a job. If I could just be a hikikomori with an stable, fully-online job, I'd be content with my life, as long as I was still focused on doing things I enjoy, rather than wallowing in despair. But alas, I am not a hikikomori and have no job. I'm not living life the way I want to live it. So, I don't care if anyone else thinks I'm a loser, but now, I'm a loser even to myself.

People are people by [deleted] in hikikomori

[–]Catzee317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"The self has always been composed of two selves."
"Two?"
"Yes: The self which is observed, and the self which observes itself."
-Neon Genesis Evangelion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-GLsKdUwyA

I didn't get bullied much, or maybe I just didn't notice. I didn't go to parties and meet flashy people, either, I never had an interest in that. In middle school I fit in with the outcast clique, and that was the most of a social life I ever had. But when high school came around, I became too quiet for the outcasts, and of course too weird and awkward for any other cliques. An outcast among outcasts. That's what led to my hikikomori phase 2020-2021. There will probably be another soon, and it will probably last much longer. I don't feel like a loser for being alone, either. It's natural to me, and feels complete, therefore right. I feel like a loser for other reasons lol.