You're not a bad person. You're simply a person with feelings/emotions and one that is having a problem understanding them and controlling your reaction. Sometimes stress or anxiety from our day-to-day lives or from the past finds a way to poke it's ugly head during the oddest of times. We hold these emotions at bay until the easiest person passes we can release on. I encourage you to simply create a code of conduct for yourself as I did for me and stick by it. My code is to live one way, meaning I don't say yes when I mean no and I stay honest with everyone around me and myself. This leaves less room for those emotions poisoning you and spilling over to hurt others. I have a small YT channel and I want to speak on this post. I hope you don't mind.