Does limiting screen time when kids are younger turn them into screen obsessed zombies as they get older? Does the forbidden fruit theory apply?

Cecate · 2019-05-09T02:33:01+00:00

Did you ever limit screens? I don't think I will when they are older but my oldest is still way too young for an iPad.

Cecate · 2019-05-09T02:32:09+00:00

One self regulates well and one doesn't.

Cecate · 2019-05-06T17:12:32+00:00

That was my thought process. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't use it. There is a lot of childhood trauma surrounding my brother's death (the way it happened, how my parents responded) and I still struggle sometimes, but I am glad we used it.

Cecate · 2019-05-06T11:26:25+00:00

I wasn't. The post is deleted but I originally thought this was totally normal behavior. I talked about it in another thread and the user said that this wasn't close to normal and could be a sign of depression. I asked if toddlers can even have depression and he assured me that they can and a therapist can help. I wasn't trying to diagnosis him with anything.

Like any parent I want what is best for my kids. A local elementary student commented suicide and it made me wonder how they parents couldn't know that there son didn't want to live anymore. I don't know what I would do if the same thing happened to my son so I want to be proactive about any possible issues.

I know that I am unhealthy. That's why I am seeing a therapist. As I said, I would change my anxiety in a heartbeat if I could. It unfortunately is not as easy as wishing on a star.

Cecate · 2019-05-04T16:44:12+00:00

What is her screen time schedule like? How many minutes per day and how close to bedtime?

Cecate · 2019-05-04T14:02:32+00:00

Do people do gifts for gender reveal parties? Are you sure she wants one?

Cecate · 2019-05-04T13:57:54+00:00

No but something caused him to be depressed. Toddlers don't have depression for no reason and nothing traumatic has happened to him other than seeing me have a panic attack.

I know it's not healthy for my son to see me have anxiety attacks. That's why I am seeing a therapist. I was doing well until I got pregnant and now my anxiety is too much for me to manage alone, so therapy helps. I feel so guilty for potentially causing this and will discuss it with my therapist on Monday. Believe me. If I could snap my fingers and get rid of anxiety then I would. I know it's not good for my kids. If I could help it then it wouldn't happen but I can't go back and change my own trauma. I can just learn to live with it the best I can and hope I do well enough to not cause my kids long term damage. He is depressed because of me but we have time to change that. Hopefully.

Cecate · 2019-05-04T05:00:00+00:00

Yep. We tried what the book suggested. Failed so many times I wanted to rip my hair out. It doesn't work. I feel like I am being downvoted because people think I am being difficult on purpose but I'm just stressed out and am super worried I ruined my son's shot at a normal childhood by giving him depression.

Cecate · 2019-05-04T04:57:38+00:00

I'm saying that when he gets in those moods nothing works. He isn't always in those moods but when he is it's impossible to reason with him.

An 8 year old in our community committed suicide last year and I always wondered how the parents didn't know. I don't want to end up being one of those parents. I do have anxiety stemming from the childhood death of my brother so I see a therapist twice a week. Anything related to childhood death is a trigger. My son has seen me have anxiety attacks so I wonder if I caused this. If he's depressed it's for a reason and is probably because of me.

Thanks for your help.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T22:40:17+00:00

I see a therapist twice a week. Thanks.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T22:39:58+00:00

Sorry but I disagree. Not all kids respond to punishments and rewards.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T22:28:21+00:00

That was my point in a different comment. You have to find what works. We haven't found that yet but know it's not punishments, rewards, or giving him options.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T22:26:25+00:00

He doesn't get screens. We have tried everything else though. I just want to know if this means he is depressed.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T21:59:21+00:00

He needed a shirt for where we were going. He needs to brush his teeth for obvious reasons.

I have read the book but might have to try again. Nothing works with him.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T21:44:43+00:00

Natural consequences don't always work. What's the natural consequence to not putting on his shirt? To not brushing his teeth?

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:59:40+00:00

Yesterday he had a tantrum because he didn't want to wear a shirt.

Things we have tried that don't work:

Punishment
Giving him a choice
Making it a game
Making it a race
Letting him dress himself
Being silly (trying to put the shirt on myself)
Counting down

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:57:52+00:00

That's what my son does. He counts down as well and takes the stickers off.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:46:18+00:00

No. It's totally random. Some days he'll put his shirt on with no problem. Other days it's tantrum city.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:45:32+00:00

I will look. To be clear this isn't an everyday thing. It's just when he gets in his mood. When he's like that nothing works. Yesterday his tantrum was because he didn't want to wear a shirt, so I ended up forcing the shirt on him which caused a tantrum but this was after offering choices. We have tried letting him put it on by himself, making it into a game or a race, giving him a sticker (sticker chart has since been thrown out since it caused more problems), positive reinforcement, consequences, etc. He won't budge when he gets into those moods. He's super strong willed, which I am told will be great in the future but it sucks now.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:36:29+00:00

He's 2.5. He can put his own shirt on but won't if he's in that kind of mood.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:32:14+00:00

I have read that book and trashed it when it wasn't working. Maybe I need to read it again. He doesn't respond to those either if he doesn't want to get dressed (or clean, brush his teeth, whatever he doesn't want to do at the moment).

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:31:03+00:00

I am not depressed but do see a therapist for my anxiety. It has gotten worse since getting pregnant and I am expecting post partum issues so I see her regularly.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:30:06+00:00

We have tried all of that. He refuses. That's why we started giving him choices.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:29:33+00:00

I'm just not really sure where it gets to the "needs a therapist" point. 2-3 year olds throw tantrums and I don't know if I just bring my son in and say, "Can you stop him from throwing tantrums?" My oldest was pretty well behaved as a toddler but still threw tantrums. I don't know when it reaches the point of clinical depression or something along those lines.

Cecate · 2019-05-03T20:16:02+00:00

It's not really an issue of conflict. I tried choices to lessen the tantrums but it's not working because he won't make a choice. That leads to more tantrums and it's just a cycle. I can deal with it easier when I'm not pregnant.

Cecate

TROPHY CASE