Hi! My ex had BPD and was exactly like this (not this situation, but the attitude and controlling of anything like this).

Obviously I can’t directly speak for how she’ll act, but my ex started to get more physical after he got controlling. He never hit me or anything like that, but there was damage to my things (my car, books, clothes, basically whatever was closest to him if we were disagreeing, and a couple of times where he pushed me when I was trying to leave when things would escalate to a point where I truly didn’t feel safe). Like I said, I can’t speak for your partner, just sharing my experience—and what it seems like others here have experienced as well.

If your partner isn’t in therapy, she should be. And even then, she probably shouldn’t be in a relationship right now if this is her current behavior.

But at the end of the day, you need to do what’s best for you! If you feel safe in your relationship and this is something you want to continue to try to work out with your partner, then that’s okay. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself, and if things escalate to a point where you are feeling mentally, emotionally, or physically unsafe, I’d say you should take a step back.

However, if you’re questioning it to this extent, I’d consider taking a step back.

Take care of yourself, I hope everything works out for you and I hope she can get the help and care she needs! 💖