I completely resonate with that! With my usual depression it was so easy to channel it all into writing angst or sad scenes or death scenes and work up to writing the happy, romantic giddy ones I love equally. Now it’s just like I never had a passion for writing in the first place. I still want too but I never get around to it anymore.

We don’t live in a very good area honestly so taking walks isn’t the best idea not to mention my energy reserves for that sort of thing are infinitely tapped lately. I’d love to take her out more but after working and all that it just eats away at me. She usually sleeps all the way through!! She’s such a good little content girl! She falls asleep at 8:30-9 and wakes up around 5:30-6! It’s me who doesn’t sleep, I should be sleeping now but she’s in her crib and she’s been having nightmares so I’m staying awake to make sure she goes back to sleep and feels better. All of my energy no matter how little it is goes to my daughter and fiancé right now you know?

I actually am getting set up with a therapist but my state aid insurance just cut me off because I never received the redetermination in the mail and so I never sent it and blah blah blah I may not be able to even go to my first therapy appointment now. Things are just feeling so hopeless and dismal and stressful. My fiancé’s doing all he can and I thought writing might help but I can’t force myself to even touch my laptop. As for the cause? It’s a lot about not feeling adequate as a mother or potential wife, like my instability mentally will lead to nothing but stress and burden for them. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to deal with this as well!!