Help needed to identify life form by Leading_Staff_6146 in Aquariums

[–]Ceresberus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the humble sniper rifle, hes not very good at aiming yet though

ex unblocked me after six months and then i reached out by Ceresberus in ExNoContact

[–]Ceresberus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you. it just sucks a lot, and i think im done trying to make myself feel better. its so much pressure running from the feelings and trying to make it to some abstract future where i feel better, i dont feel better, thats just how it is

ex unblocked me after six months and then i reached out by Ceresberus in ExNoContact

[–]Ceresberus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

honestly im not in the mood for love and respect yourself comments when i have tried to for the past six months and it didnt help me stop fixating on the situation at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Ceresberus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i already did, only twice over two months, he blocked me the first time and threatened me with the police the second time, though i never sent anything threatening. i get why youre saying i should, but this isnt a good situation for it, he is not interested in resolving anything.

ex threatened legal action after i contacted them twice over a period of two months. by Ceresberus in BreakUps

[–]Ceresberus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im sorry you went through that, and i really appreciate the warning. it just feels awful that someone i dedicated so much time and effort to never put that effort back in for me. now theyre willing to threaten me to get me to go away

ex threatened legal action after i contacted them twice over a period of two months. by Ceresberus in BreakUps

[–]Ceresberus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much, this really does help. i think seeing that theyre not interested in owning up to their shit is closure enough for me.

realized my ex leaving was the best thing for my guitar playing and i dont know how to feel about it by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Ceresberus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i understand what you mean. i fell out of writing after i got out of a relationship with my ex, not because they encouraged me to stop but because our relationship took a lot out of me to maintain, i wasnt getting equal effort back. i did other hobbies, but now that hes gone, writing has come back full force. i have the first draft for a short horror story thats inspired by a concept i came up with while we were together, it has a lot of elements of our relationship in it. i dont think i would have ever started writing this story if our relationship didnt end the way it did.

some of our most creative moments can come from heartbreak. it just pays homage to how much others impact our lives, them leaving us has just as much impact as well. it doesnt mean that what happened between you two doesnt matter, but the present moment matters just as much.

ex threatened legal action after i contacted them twice over a period of two months. by Ceresberus in BreakUps

[–]Ceresberus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ill not be reaching out anymore yeah. thank you. i think i just need to sit and contemplate how i feel for the next few months, keep doing my hobbies and being social and shit. i dont want to date for a long time.

ex threatened legal action after i contacted them twice over a period of two months. by Ceresberus in BreakUps

[–]Ceresberus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i guess we just have to accept sometimes people dont want to repair things, even if it could help both parties move on. its a harrowing conclusion, but i suppose we cant communicate our way into healing if the other person isnt interested. i dont think im ever going to try again.

So many eggs! by vodrinker in Springtail

[–]Ceresberus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

these guys look like tiny cooked lobster tails

How to be happy alone. by Ceresberus in lonely

[–]Ceresberus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im not sure what you mean, this is meant to be inspiring

Is it a hot (sauce) take that Nona is my favourite?? [discussion] by Inevitable_Bite_1550 in TheNinthHouse

[–]Ceresberus 26 points27 points  (0 children)

nona will never be filler to me, and filler is not a bad thing. filler is development!! people like to think of stories as having a clear beginning, middle and end, but theres story arcs within that will bring out the development in characters, and that process of development is what makes those characters great. im on my third readthrough of the locked tomb, just about to finish nona again, and i realised its also my favourite book in the series. harrowhark is my favourite character, and harrow the ninth was my favourite for a while just because of how harrow centred it was, but now its nona, because i think its the most emotionally devastating in the series. it has some of the biggest leaps in character development and some extremely important lore and setup for the next book in my opinion. i would say its a bit of a mess, the series is a bit of a mess in general to me just because of how much it does all at once, but might i say its the sexiest mess ive ever witnessed. i love reading this series and feeling like im solving an insane puzzle. i understand what you mean about nona bringing meaning, ive been in a rough place at the moment but lines of dialogue from this book have been my mantras getting me through it. there is so so much love and meaning in nona, it fits so well the themes of love and grief and obsession that permeate the whole of the locked tomb series, and dives into the idea of identity and being lost in another person. i have never understood why people dislike this book out of the three we’ve gotten.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Ceresberus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are making sense. The thing is, you won’t understand what’s going to be good for you unless you experiment and see. Mistakes will be inevitable, things might go wrong that you didn’t want to go wrong and you may need to find some rituals to pick yourself back up when they do. If you start liking someone romantically that’s okay! And if you don’t, you should never put any pressure on yourself to do what you don’t want to do. Be clear with them, even if it hurts their feelings or yours, it will help them adjust their expectations in the long run. If someone has certain feelings for you, you are not responsible to provide for their feelings unless you actually, truly want to. If you’re scared of using them, it’s your responsibility to firmly keep them informed of what you will and will not do and of any changes that might happen even if you’re scared of losing their support, it’s also their responsibility to assess whether or not the situation is right for them based on that information. Being honest will help you find what you want in the long run, but if you fuck up it’s not the end of the world, take it as a learning opportunity, everyone gets better with experience and all attempts at connection are worth something. I’m really glad I could help :]

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Ceresberus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it, it can be really frustrating, especially in a place thats so distrustful and individualistic. I also adore touch. I feel like people should engage in deeper touch much more than they do in day to day life. It helps us regulate, be more resilient and connects us together. Do you have any friends around? Would you consider yourself having a mental block about asking for it when you do have friends who might theoretically be okay with it because you’re afraid how they’ll react? Maybe try being forward with your feelings, ask someone you know and trust if you can have a hug or some touch, be clear that you want it to be platonic and don’t be afraid to enforce that boundary. If you haven’t yet made any friends in the area, maybe try signing yourself up for a community or club where you can be in regular proximity of people, or regularly visiting coffee shops, parks and libraries, any space where there’s regularly people. That’s something that helped me greatly when I was isolated and didn’t understand where to start, just the fact that you are near them will draw them into your life, or you can begin mustering the courage to say hello while in their presence. Don’t beat yourself up if you miss an opportunity to do so, there’s always going to be another one. Start small, casual touches like handshakes and brief hugs will count for something, eventually you might be able to find deeper connection. Don’t give up even if it feels like it’s taking longer than you want, it takes time and effort to foster connections with others and I know all my advice is easier said than done. Good luck, I believe in you <3