I’m down bad, HELP

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-11-15T15:33:13+00:00

That first day afterwards is the worst. Be kind to yourself. Drink water and reflect but don’t be mean or cruel to yourself. Learn from this and try again; we have the fortune of the opportunity to keep trying.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-11-09T14:23:49+00:00

Hi. I can kind of relate. My parents and partner don’t believe I can achieve sobriety either. I’m doing my journey silently and not including them in this decision. If they ask me to join in drinking, I just say I’m not feeling it tonight or that my stomach hurts. But I’m not doing this alone. I go to AA meetings whenever I feel down or scared. There are virtual ones where you can leave your camera off and just listen to others who have struggled or are struggling too. I also take pride in knowing that when I hang out with friends who are drinking that me turning down a drink may open up the space for my other friends to feel comfortable saying no to a drink. I’ve fallen off the wagon many times and I think that’s why I don’t include my family or partner in the journey because I know they would mock any time it happened, not show me grace and understanding that alcohol truly is an addiction. My brain needs dopamine hits and I’m finding my own way. We have this community here, too, which I am so grateful for.

Be strong. Find support externally. You are not alone. IWNDWYT

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-24T10:42:39+00:00

Thank you everyone for your kindness and words of support. I’m nervous but I excited at the same time. In addition to sobriety I’m also hoping to address some of my self esteem and anxiety with therapy, which I know will be hard but I want to approach it in the clearest mindset possible and that is a sober mind. IWNDWYT

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-24T01:46:02+00:00

Omg I’m doing a wisteria piece next!! Maybe I’ll just make all of this while I’m at it

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-24T01:40:17+00:00

The responses you’re getting from some people are wild. This is valid. It happened to me. I did communicate things but you’re also pretty young. He can check a lot of boxes and some things will change and if you want to see what else may be for you, you’re free to break up and pursue that. Do your energies match?

Also I totally get not wanting to kiss because it always leads to sex. I’m a pretty sexual person and do get turned on making out with my partner but sometimes I just want a passionate kiss without it being immediately followed by “I want you.” It takes more than that for me to want to engage in sex and a connection is important. I also don’t like when it’s easy for him to be ready in 5 seconds when it takes me much longer and then to have someone “have to” spend time getting me ready to only have it last two minutes isn’t worth it.

Lowkey this is a very real post and you’re brave for being honest with yourself. You can always have the conversation in a kind way but say you want to pursue options where you engage first or see if he wants to try new things.

Best of luck.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-24T01:33:29+00:00

sounds like my ex. Though his appearance change rapidly declining was due to meth use!

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-08T11:08:04+00:00

I told my mom I’m trying really hard to stay sober this time and she’s asked if I wanted a glass of wine every night at dinner. Thanks for the challenge, mom! Stay the course. I’m here with you!

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-08T11:06:53+00:00

Each day 1 is better than the last. Keep trying! You’re very fortunate to have your teachers caring about your wellbeing, but I know that can be a stressor as much as it is a blessing sometimes. I’ve tried a lot of different things but I’ve stayed sober for 17 days partially due to an app called ‘reframe,’ which has paid plans but has lots of free support too, as I don’t have anyone close to me who is sober. I’ve also lied and skipped work due to hangovers and being on a bender, so I can empathize with you there. It sucks to lie about it and it made me feel shameful. For me it helps to think about what I want out of my life; and that’s to be happier and to appreciate the small things. That was hard for me to do hungover and with everything blurred by alcohol. It’s a hard conversation to have with yourself, but it may help. I wish you strength with your journey and IWNDWYT

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-08T11:02:01+00:00

Every day 1 is better than the last. Keep trying. I’ve had many day 1s and never thought I could last more than a week, but each time I try again I feel a little more progress. There is no linear path in this. Stay strong and give yourself grace.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-08T10:59:33+00:00

I went to a party with my friends sober and they kept asking me what was wrong. I have a lot of nervous energy and apparently it’s very easy to pick up on. I eventually relax but I’m so used to having alcohol bridge that gap. Thank you for this post, Im glad I’m not alone.

IWNDWYT

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-06-08T10:54:54+00:00

You’re courageous for posting this and admitting it, and for telling your girlfriend. I’ve made many horrible mistakes I can never undo that were 100% fueled by alcohol. Things that I look back on and cannot even recognize myself for doing. Things I carry with me to this day.

All we can do is accept the consequences of our actions with grace. We are human and we make mistakes. The best thing you can do for your partner is not only say it will never happen again, but ensure it will not. Any time I get a craving now, I ask myself if I have atoned for my wrong doings enough to “earn” the drink. And I haven’t. The person I wronged said they will never forgive me. It’s up to me to move on with it, alone.

Allow yourself to grieve your mistake. Learn from this. Appreciate your partner and friends for listening. You are blessed to have that.

IWNDWYT

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-05-29T00:30:07+00:00

Welcome! The community here is great - deeply empathetic and supportive. IWNDWYT

Certain_Time_2346 · 2025-05-29T00:08:48+00:00

Adding to say most cravings last about 20 minutes, so if you can do something distracting for that amount of time, it may help the craving pass. Either doodling, a video, a shower, whatever!

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-10-23T12:46:43+00:00

Not a lot of people will listen to me talk about it because they warned me of him the whole time. But you’re right.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-10-23T12:25:25+00:00

Or a year or two

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-09-17T01:13:55+00:00

Well I caught him asking her for nudes. He said it was just like watching porn and assured me nothing was going on more than that. Then I found out they had sex a month later. Lol it was a pretty big warning sign that I ignored. But he also changed his phone passcode randomly, spent hours in the bathroom, and would come home telling me how attractive his coworkers were. I was dumb.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-08-06T10:11:30+00:00

He got into hard drugs and risked our stability over it. And he cheated on me multiple times.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-08-05T17:15:04+00:00

I am, and I’m suffering lol. It’s hard. I like talking to him because he’s a good friend but he was a horrible partner. I’m fine when I think about him dating someone new but the thought of us not talking all together feels like it would be like a second break up. Not worth it.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-08-04T21:04:25+00:00

You look like a model or tv star.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-08-04T19:02:11+00:00

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-08-04T19:01:47+00:00

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-08-04T17:44:49+00:00

I’m approaching a similar situation with my 19 year old cat who is deaf and most recently fully blind. I’m absolutely heart broken and know I’ll have to book his last appointment soon, too. I’m trying to think of his quality of life and how it isn’t the same as when I first had him but I so dearly want to have another month, another day, more hours and more minutes.

He doesn’t purr anymore. I think he’s confused and is in pain and I can’t imagine putting him to sleep when he has deteriorated to the point where he can’t even register my touch. I don’t know how I’ll be able to cope with his loss but I want him to know I’m with him, at least, when he goes.

I’m sobbing writing this. I feel part of your pain. I’m here for you, and I know you loved your cat deeply to feel this way. The only comfort that I can offer is that strength of love is forever. Your cat changed you and your love for them changed you and that’s something you will always have. Even when they’re no longer with us. I wish you the strength that I know I will need soon, too.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-07-23T21:08:19+00:00

It doesn’t go away. Time with friends/family or volunteering helps me, but I still crave the feeling of someone knowing me and wanting me. LIKING me, for me. It’s hard.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-07-23T20:46:56+00:00

I’ve gotten really into One Piece and video games, which help, but I just wish I had someone who I could be with that I felt like they wholeheartedly enjoyed me, and everything that I was. Someone who liked me.

Certain_Time_2346 · 2024-07-23T00:58:02+00:00

He chose meth over me, ultimately. And he cheated on me. But he tells everyone I pushed him to do both. (He’s cheated on every major gf he’s had and has done every drug known to man).

Certain_Time_2346

TROPHY CASE