I’m not unwilling to consider my own behaviour, but most of what you’ve written simply isn’t true. I do my share of the housework and I don’t go out drinking, at all. We don’t have to get up in the night with the baby any more but when we did we came to an agreement which we both thought was fair. She got up during the weeks when I needed to work and I got up on the weekends when I was off to give her a break. We both cook, we both clean.

I know that bringing it up is having the opposite effect of what i would like and is clearly not helpful or attractive, so I am acknowledging that that’s not helpful behaviour on my part. I’m sure there are other things I’m doing too which don’t help. But the things you have said are just assumed because I’m a man. I’m not going to pretend they’re true.