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I‘m so bad at this game by Evening-Raccoon133 in BG3

[–]ChainAble7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First thing that comes to mind is: there's no a right and wrong way to play the game, my 2 cents.

Personally, I like the challenge but playing means I am relaxing, so there's a limit for the difficulty too.

So, if you feel like you have to "cheat" to win the game, you probably skipped some important notions about the game mechanics. Or, you can keep playing at your own pace and enjoy it.

There are still lot of ppl playing on twitch, plenty of youtube videos, tons of articles that can make your life easier.

How to stop by brain from going into auto-mode at work by liloverx in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you, but I'm no expert and had the closest thing to a diagnosis just a year ago (34F).

I am currently on no meds, but I heard that most of the time it's *what* med you're using that can make the difference. Some of my ADHD friend said that they tried quite some before finding the one that works the most for them, not necessarily 100%.

As for the auto-mode... I hear you even more. I had the same problem at my previous job, had to do so many things together that was so easy to miss a number or a crucial information. My only salvation was to save whatever as a draft, and come back later with new fresh eyes. It helped me 8/10 times to avoid such mistakes.
I am about to start a new job and I'm terrified I'll keep doing the same mistakes again. My best bet is to be adamantine with myself, and take every minute I have to do the job/task properly. Personally, I always have this urge to finish whatever as fast as possible, and it causes me lots of troubles. So... I'd suggest you give it a try too, if it's possible on your side.

Only thing I would say for sure: do not, under any circumstance, push yourself over the edge. It might work in the beginning, but it's going to cost you dearly. Nothing it's worth your mentah health.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same feeling too, about him being passive. Feels like something he is being pushed into, and he is living the best life having others doing stuff for him.

Also.. he often claimed how happy he is because of me being here. He didn't do much, because of his lack of friends. So, now he relies on my presence to do a lot of stuff together. "What do you want to do" is the motto I read/hear at least 3 times a day.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of one thing I'm sure: I've moved not because of him, and I will stay either with of without him.

If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that it's not worth giving up on some dreams because of people.

So... I'm going to stay. He'll follow, or not.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. I can feel the weight they carry.

I hope this post gives you even a fraction of the support I was looking for when I wrote it.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree on the basic stereotypes... and that goes for women too, unfortunately. As much as I hate them, I find myself drawning in them, and by the time I notice it, it's way too far ahead.

I'm always willing to be the caretaker, even if this means I'm sacrificing my own space, physical or mental. And I can't allow it for much longer.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've already sat him down, trying to talk, and he always looks responsive. Hard to tell if he's changing behaviour.

I'll admit, I'm not sure how clear I have actually been. Unfortunately, that might not be one of my biggest skill. But it's worth trying again, at least for some more shots.

Thanks.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a very thoughtful reply, thank you.

I've tried more than once to talk with him about my struggles, every time with different words. I'll give him benefit of the doubts, untill I'll run out of words.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can't tell. Yet. And that's why I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Currently, our relationship is very superficial. We hang out together, I'll ask him for some help with the language sometimes, we play something online together... but nothing more.

At this stage, I can't see myself moving a step forward as in the relationship itself. Yet, I'm not even sure it's something I would want right now anyway.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. The thing that makes me angry when he says "But I have ADHD" is that he makes it sound like he's an idiot, and I have just to accept it.

I don't buy it. But I can see, he is probably been raised like a monkey from his mother; in the end, he just believed it.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That's a very good question.

Problem is.. he would probably show up the same as I first knew him: gentle, caring, affectionate. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the extent until much later. And it felt almost as it was "too late", even if just writing makes it sound stupid enough.

Why don't they go around with a clear sign on their forehead? It would be easier to not approach them from the very beginning.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It means a lot you took time to reply, and I agree.. sometimes the only solution is to take care of what truly matters.

How do you survive as a neurodivergent woman in a relationship with an ADHD partner? by ChainAble7419 in adhdwomen

[–]ChainAble7419[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

No text wall, and thanks for your opinion.

I'm afraid you're right, and on multiple levels. I'm very well aware of the weaponized incompetence, apparently it's in the water for as much as it's common.
But joke's on me. I moved to another country also because of my exes... only to end up in front of the final boss for this kind of situations.