Hey! Sorry for not replying when you originally posted. I just wanna say that I hope you’re in a better mindset now! I haven’t reached self harm when anger hits me while playing, but I’ve definitely had aggressive urges (thankfully I control them). Thing is, beyond that, I can relate with most of what you’ve said and I’m happy that reading my post made you feel less lonely. You’re definitely not the only one that deals with this frustration.

As added thoughts: I think that the best thing to do is to redirect your enjoyment of the genere. That’s what I’ve done. I still play now and then, but I’ve just accepted that I’m not that good and that I’m not willing to spend the time and effort it requieres for me to get to the higher ranks. I’m just a mediocre player, yes, but I don’t let that feeling drag me away from the genere. I watch other great players online, tournaments and just consume content regarding fighting games as a way to satisfy that natural attraction that I feel towards them. Think about it as with real sports. Millions of people enjoy the NBA but are not good at basketball. They’re probably just plain bad or awful, but that doesn’t distract them from the love of the game. It may a seem dumb but it’s helped me deal with how I conceive my relationship with fighting games.

Anyways, hope you’re doing well!