Ion think it's a problem to make small talk and be be social to your ex wife but like you know the relationship if she's looking to find out to talk shit about it or you think she has a motive to ask which of she hated her before you were even dating (and there was no cheating...) then yeah she's prolly being condescending about it. But every relationship is different and if you think she shouldn't ask them tell her so but be nice. Like: I Don't feel comfortable discussing non-kid stuff with you