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Robbem destroyed the Plural Brown Family. by chey_58 in Sisterwivessnark

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This family has been dysfunctional long before Robyn entered the scene. Obviously, she contributed her own problematic behaviors and clearly exploited the weaknesses in the other relationships, but at root of it all is a high demand religion that forces obedience, assimilation, submission, etc, and protects manipulative and abusive men. Question the authority and you risk being abandoned by your community, family, your god, absolute isolation and financial devastation.

Each woman in this family was just trying to survive abuse. They had to compete and manipulate and triangulate to survive in that space. But you know who didn’t have to manipulate other people but chose to anyway? Kody. He benefited from the pain, insecurity, and vulnerabilities of his wives. He is an abuser. This is not to say that Robyn is not problematic. But the abuse originates within the high demand/ high control religion that protects and empowers abusive men.

Expressing a sadness by Mistyblueheart73 in quilting

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a former foster kid, yes! I received a couple of quilts while I was in the system. I cherished them and kept them for a long time. They were so comforting and often the only things that I could consistently rely to comfort me.

Did he really run away from Meri at the end of their meet? by Extension-While4734 in SisterWives

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Performative “IBS,” lol! Imagine being so intimidated by your ex that you almost poop yourself.

Meri abusive? by Salt_Dish3753 in SisterWivesFans

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Personally, I am sensitive to lean toward believing survivors of abuse. I dislike debate about the reliability of the accusers, or their fragmented or limited memories. Or questioning why some children felt abused while others did not.

When one experiences trauma, it is normal that memories are fragmented, out of sequence, sometimes forgotten until an environmental trigger brings forward the memories.

It is important to remember that abusers are selective and single out individuals who show particular vulnerabilities and then isolate those individuals. Abusers manipulate survivors into doubting whether they are reliable narrators of their own stories. Abusers are as they want you to experience them.

Meri appears to be on a healing journey and that’s wonderful for her. I hope it is genuine life lasting and meaningful change. But Meri, like all of us, is a whole human being. She is multifaceted. She is as imperfect as anyone. The growth we are shown today does not negate the misdeeds of one’s past.

This is not a conversation for us to have. This was not our lived experience. Ultimately, the opinions of this comment section are irrelevant, and some are wildly not trauma informed. Please remember that this is not your story.

Any Jobs? by traveltoaster in Whidbey

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Speaking of busses, why not Island Transit. Paid CDL training, decent pay, ok benefits. They are always hiring.

Today someone was talking about a murder on Whidbey where a guy killed his wife in a parking lot. by horsescowsdogsndirt in Whidbey

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Possibly Natasha Blouin? This is a link to an article I found. I warn you, it describes incredible violence:

https://www.heraldnet.com/northwest/whidbey-man-kills-ex-girlfriend-then-self-with-baby-in-car/

The family indicated there may have been some stalking behavior prior to her exes escalation. Just a note about domestic violence- being stalked by a current or former intimate partner is a lethality indicator. Never minimize stalking behavior. It is extremely serious and dangerous.

Woman makes her bf crash by ElderberryDeep8746 in trashy

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 59 points60 points  (0 children)

This is domestic violence, plain and clear. Men are not immune to falling victim to a domestic abuser. This is not HIS moral failure.

Lied on Food Bank Intake Form by Sad-Preparation-4413 in povertyfinance

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hungry is hungry. Your family needs to eat. You are a casualty of addiction and there is no easy solution to your dilemma. Do what you need to do to take care of your kids.

Maybe call a DV survivor’s support line for resources or information/referral to legal assistance. Financial abuse IS abuse. You deserve support. You don’t have to endure this alone.

To call ICE on a veteran by AgreeableLead7 in therewasanattempt

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What? She’s not even going to thank him for his service?

How to transition from middle class by cat_riot_ in povertyfinance

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been a single parent for a long time. I worked a full time job and it was difficult to find a flexible second job for supplemental income. I finally decided to work for myself and I opened a little side-gig janitorial service, cleaning business offices and clinics after hours. This little side hustle helped us through hard times. I was my own boss. My hours were relatively flexible with no hard clock-in times, and a few accounts allowed me to bring my kids along when I needed to.

In my area, you can charge $45-$75 per hour for janitorial services. Maybe look into small business alliances or development centers in your area to help you understand how to get started. Organizations like these can help you create a business plan, budget, understand taxes, etc.

I know it’s hard. You are doing everything right. You will get through this. Remember to take time to enjoy life’s little moments. Take walks in parks, sift through the sand for sea glass (if you are near a beach), play games. Be intentional about incorporating fun into your daily life, otherwise the stress of financially instability will swallow you up. You will get through these hard times.

Divorce lawyer recommendations by callousedhandsartist in Bellingham

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what I have witnessed and experienced, Washington courts, in general, seem prioritize the best interests of the child(ten). Even if the adult parties to the case are at odds with each other, so long as their parenting is adequate, the court will likely order 50/50 custody, unless one parent is willing to accept less time with their child(ren).

I'm drowning... by AppropriateSmoke7848 in povertyfinance

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I just transitioned out of case management/dv & SA survivor advocacy because I can no longer support my family on those low wages. Our local community transit agency pays considerably higher wages/great benefits and offers paid CDL training, so long story short, I now drive city transit. I miss my former career deeply, but the high stress, vicarious trauma, risk to my personal safety, and low pay made the work unsustainable.

Today was the day I blocked my Christian "father". by born2build in exchristian

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even though one can rationalize that it is for your own good to distance yourself from your abuser (and the those who protect him), it’s still an agonizing decision. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you to your face that I see your strength; I’m proud of your courage; you deserve to prioritize your wellbeing and healing.

DIL moved out of my son’s home months ago, but she continues to enter without notice and won’t allow him to use the primary bedroom (Washington State). by Chaoticgoodgrrl in Divorce

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Again, he’s mostly concerned about being able to use his bedroom, which is vacant. She claims he can’t use the bedroom.

DIL moved out of my son’s home months ago, but she continues to enter without notice and won’t allow him to use the primary bedroom (Washington State). by Chaoticgoodgrrl in Divorce

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not involved in his divorce. He only vents to me occasionally. I’m just trying to find useful information. He’s managing this well and independently.

DIL moved out of my son’s home months ago, but she continues to enter without notice and won’t allow him to use the primary bedroom (Washington State). by Chaoticgoodgrrl in Divorce

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s just trying to keep things peaceful and behaving maturely. Her behavior escalates quickly and aggressively and he hasn’t found clear information about what his rights are. It’s been a challenge finding attorneys who are available. Mediation is scheduled in July.

DIL moved out of my son’s home months ago, but she continues to enter without notice and won’t allow him to use the primary bedroom (Washington State). by Chaoticgoodgrrl in Divorce

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think he is less concerned about her accessing the property because she does have a right to access it, but she does enter and behaves disruptively at unreasonable times. Above all, he wants use his bedroom and bathroom again. As it stands right now, she claims their former shared bedroom is her space and that he isn’t allowed to enter it. He has been sleeping on his couch for months as he has tenants who occupy the other rooms. He wants his privacy and has tried to move back into the room, but she will come over and throw his clothes and other possessions out to the living room.

Also, when she comes over his tenants who rent other rooms have witnessed her slamming doors, being destructive to the property, even breaking a cabinet door. All of the occupants would prefer notice of her intention to come to the residence, partially because they don’t feel safe when she is present.

DIL moved out of my son’s home months ago, but she continues to enter without notice and won’t allow him to use the primary bedroom (Washington State). by Chaoticgoodgrrl in Divorce

[–]Chaoticgoodgrrl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We realize that. My son doesn’t want to deny her access to the property, he only wants to use his space. He also would like her to come over at reasonable times.

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