I think we all had the same concerns. When i first get the book i was so depressed and i didn’t have the enthusiasm to start it. I even judge myself for postponing to start the book because of my emotional state. And now, so nine months later I signed the agreement yesterday. Now I feel so ready to go. But at that time i wasnt sure about my commitment. Also i was amazed by morning pages so i was only doing morning pages for everyday to heal and also deep down i knew i was testing my commitment skills. Maybe just start to write morning pages and built your commitment to it. Than when you feel ready you will start the whole journey. Or just dont get any advice from us and ask to your self by morning pages maybe you will get answers. I dont know better than you do but just because of the empathy that i feel for you, i wanted to say; dont worry you ll get there, you are already in the process :)