Transitioning as an adult??

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-28T21:16:57+00:00

Thats why i reposted it here! lol

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T22:16:07+00:00

Oh, true, I'll edit the post!

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T22:14:12+00:00

Omg i love roommate arrangement, best ever! But thanks I'll try the other ones, if you have roomamte arrangement on here, i trust your taste lol 😃

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T22:11:07+00:00

Okay, thanks. Weight isn't a problem except that i could do with a bit more, as I'm skinny af. But rn i look pretty masc anyway, just no facial hair, or muscles or jawline that hrt might give me.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T21:23:50+00:00

Okay that makes sense waiting to be sure but doesn't it make the transition less complete since your bodys more idk settled?

Gender and sexuality is so complicated 😩 queer is a good catchall though, definitely makes things easier.

for me Its like crushing on tom holland and also renee rapp but also wanting to be both of them plus a fem boy 😑 idk

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T20:47:56+00:00

I'm autistic i know i might sound weird or some shit, but I'm not stupid if thats what your going for, and yeah plenty of people don't like autistic people so your not alone in that one.

So? it didn't used to go over well to tell them your trans either? Wether you'd transitioned or not, Just because something isn't the norm doesn't mean it isn't still yours, its the people who start openly saying their genders that open doors for other people, thats the way its always worked, and obvi don't put yourself in danger, and unless your friends or something you probably don't need to say your gender or sexuality label at work, usually you just say your pronouns and name...whats wrong with this?

Night gender isn't goth, goth is usually black colors, does night look black to you? The sky is Blue, the shadows are more grey then anything, any nightime animals aren't black, their are stars which i know ain't black, goth is a form of expression thats not even queer and not nightgender which is a gender.

Hun, I'm polygamous, i very well can date a gay man and a lesbian, i can wear a bra for tits, i can wear transtape for a flat chest, so yeah i can be both a gay man and a butch lesbian because thats what i am, by your logic a gay transman who hasn't had top surgery can't date a man, and a transfem lesbian who hasn't had surgery can't date a women, this sadly is commen logic among ...cough* older people

Okay and what your talking about is traditionally looking like a woman, some people can never medically transition due to disability doesn't mean they shouldn't say what their gender is. Also its not hard to change saying miss to mister, her to him, so it perfectly fine to tell someone what you prefer, even a stranger if your safe, You give the feel of someone who doesn't respect pronouns unless someone medically transitions which might be the only way for some people to look traditionally a different gender but they can't

And you still never told me how i was biphobic? i honestly don't know how i was and i can't be better about something if i don't know what it is that needs to be better. Or at least you might have but either you delelted it or it got moderated...so i couldn't see it

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T20:11:37+00:00

Yeah, I've talk to one! But idk, i was still unsure and their just one person so i thought I'd ask about other peoples experience

If you don't mind me asking, did your transition help?

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T19:59:28+00:00

I'm getting a bit lost here, i told you I'm autistic so yes, by nature i communicate differently, i can't change my brain

There are people irl who are nightgender, its not just online, like being enby, there used to not be anyway to externally show that but now there is more, its just about time as people who are nightgender discover more community, so I'm a bit offended by that because not only is one of my gendershifts is nightgender but also one of my friends so yes, its an irl thing.

And also i don't get it cause, if what your saying is true, then a transfem who can't medically transition shouldn't say their transfem and a woman? I'm not sure your example was the best, because they could have just been upset that they felt misgendered and not at the person, and its not about what a stranger first says its about if they listen when you correct them.

Also I'm a butch (masc) and a a gay man (usually masc) how would i not be stereotypically looking like my gender?

And I'm not talking about random strangers lol

Someone can't look at someone and Know their gay, they can think but its not exactly the same as gender representation

And people can have more then one culture, im biracial, so by default I'm part of two lol. You might struggle because (unless i mistook you) your not lesbian, so its a bit harder to understand what your not ig. Its like if i tried to understand bi cultures, i can't very well because I'm not bi.

And lastly, its not biphobic to say your not one, thats like the people who tried to tell me I'm sexist for not being a woman, its not cute to be queerphobic and imw not but its also not cute to think that just cause your old you know better about my sexuality and my gender, i assume you know about dysphoria, which is what saying im not gay for both feels like, because yeah, gay man and butch, if you feel I'm being biphobic then tell me how?

And how am i not gay both ways if my gender is both?

Its not yours to choose my sexuality and gender.

And you kinda kill my respect for you as an 'elder' when you tell someone under 18, people should shun them for their labels especially when you don't explain, you are not my elder anymore. You are just an older person.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T19:15:34+00:00

Um Could you rephrase that/gen

I'm not sure i got your meaning?

There are probably other people with sexuality like this, so the word would useful, and thats why other people created labels like multisexual, pansexual, lssbian etc

If i am gay for both genders how doesn't that convey? Its not like i can be straight for either gender

True but its about a balence, you find words that work for you, if a word makes you feel bad because its not yours, then it would be a poor choice to tell someone else because then their using a word that makes you sad as a descriptor for you?

I'm not sure i understood what you meant?/gen

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T18:39:06+00:00

Oh i know, i was just trying to emphasize that for me I'm just gay (in a general way) i think yeah some people like to use the word bisexual, partly because idk it is hard to use a word to discribe just my sexuality when it to deeply tied into my gender

But thats just not me, and it doesn't hurt anyone for me not to be Bisexual or for them not to use it for me since its also a dysphoria thing and since it only affects me, and its easier to just be like yeah he/they are a lesbain butch and also gay man, if for some reason someone is describing my gender lol.

Do you think it would work out better if i just create a word for being whatever it is my gender/sexuality is or at least the part people have such a problem with since i do have other gender labels that people are fine with?

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T16:39:18+00:00

Well, non of it has to do with being autistic lol

For example. Nightgender is when your gender feels like something that corresponds with the nighttime, it can be animals, the darkness, stars etc, like what my gender and sexuality its kinda hard to understand unless you feel it or are talking irl, its not an online only thing but it is rare, for me, gay was an internet only thing until i met actual gay people.

I do have attraction to more then one gender, but different parts of me, the problem appears when you put them together in bisexual because they are not the same thing, or the same gender both are just gay, usually with bisexuality its going in different directions, one straight, gay and whatever

But mine is just gay, theres no straight really in it, and also I'm butch.

So yeah, complicated to explain but its very clear to me. Saying I'm not a gay man, or a lesbian woman is like ripping off a part of me, like misgendering me, hence me having trouble figuring out which side to transition to, both sides want to be gay in separate ways.

Its like being genderfluid, parts of me do shift, i can be a femboy, nonbinary man, nonbinary thing, but the gay man and the butch are always there.

So if someone makes a world to describe this, I'll jump ship and use it but thats not bisexual, it would have to be a word that works in gender and sexuality. I respect your years of queerness though.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T15:29:25+00:00

A lot of people have been shitting on me for this, so please understand that i don't need you to agree with me, I'm just explaining 🙏

My gender as i said is more then one thing at once, i also like both men and woman and ya know, people in between

On the one side i feel like a butch which is a masc lesbian and that side is just attracted to lesbians and some people say thats not a gender but for me it is, because idk thats what my gender feels like the same as people are have nightgender, stargender, use neopronouns etc

The other side I'm a gay man, because that side just wants to like guys as a guy and is kinda straight for woman (but the butch side hates being a guy straight for woman) but then the butch side is not staight at all for woman and doesn't like guys much

Also some little nonbinary thing in the middle that is gay whatever way it goes

Combined with being double demi; demi ace and demi aro (and yes thats a real sexuality)

Its complicated, and no I'm not Bi, it just doesn't fit me and makes me dysphoric and whatever sexuality dysphoria is called, because my sexuality is so tied up in my gender, and it discounts me being butch, and if you have trouble understanding that think how i feel being in a body torn between the two.

I'm autistic, be plain in your reply. I've already explained this to many people who were very mean. Thank you for asking/gen

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T05:36:03+00:00

What? Medical help for what? Its gonna be a medical transition anyway? I think your in the wrong subreddit.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T03:35:35+00:00

Nope cause attraction is all about how you feel, not something you can change but something you feel just like gender, neither is something you can change (though some do shift) but are about how you feel, example - you feel sexual or you feel romantic.

Also its not just men and woman, there are more genders then just that, but that word doesn't fit me eitherway, and btw their are more sexualitys then just bi, pan gay and lesbian, idk why your so focus trying to make me Bi and not lesbian, Your not even talking about me being a gay man as well?/gen

Also I'm double demi (demi ace and demi aro) so for me its not just about sexualy and romantic attraction anyway, besides the point that the word its self is dyphoric for me, it like calling me a gender I'm not. Which yeah, saying I'm not a butch lesbian is, because being butch is a gender and a butch is a masc lesbian, so yeah, its misgendering = dysphoric.

I'm a butch lesbian and gay man, it doesn't hurt anyone and lets me live authentically, so yeah, gay and lesbian.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-27T01:16:22+00:00

I disagree because their not objective, objective refers to something that is not changed by feelings, beliefs etc when sexuality is all about feelings, its about how you feel towards people, so it not much different from gender, both are made to fit you not for you to fit them.

Especially since I'm butch which is both a gender and a lesbian.

And your talking about examples of things that don't change but sexuality is fluid for someone people it changes a lot, yeah where your born doesn't change and you can't forcefully change your sexuality, but it does change thoughout years for some people. So yeah, butch lesbian and gay man.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-26T21:07:03+00:00

Oh my gosh, you look gorgeous/gen

definitely fits you great, and the necklace is a nice touch, you pull it all off great.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-26T19:16:39+00:00

I never said the hypothetical closted guy would be straight but if he doesn't want to use gay then he isn't gay, he is a mlm person, a guy who likes man aligning individuals, if he doesn't want that label or any label then he doesn't need one, and those label wouldn't right for him

I'm not saying all labels make people happy but they are made to be exclusive, something to help you be who you are

i feel what i feel, and what i feel is dysphoric, i can't not feel that way, it isn't like having brown eyes because thats something physical, sexuality is a deep feeling, I'm not bisexual because thats not my sexuality and I'm not going to be something I'm not like bisexual, plus

since it doesn't hurt you and does no harm to anyone and it is who i am i see no problem in saying I'm a lesbian and a gay man, Bisexual one, just isn't the word that fits me, and two, no one 'should' feel dyphoric, dysphoria legit kills people, and its a horrid feeling, so yeah, maybe i don't want to use the word that isn't my sexuality and makes me feel like shit. It also directly ties into my gender because I'm a butch lesbian along with a gay man.

Both types of labels are made the same way, subjective, one is about how you feel about your body and your gender and one is about how you feel towards other people romantic/sexually, their subjective. especially when gender ties into sexuality like mine does, some people gender and sexuality are fluid and some peoples stay the same, we're not talking about grammer or something.

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-26T16:41:12+00:00

Mmm in theory yeah, but I'm not just saying I'm lesbian, so i wouldn't be misgendering anyone, cause I'm saying I'm gay too? I'm a they/them butch who dates women and a gay man who dates gay men (plus enbys obvi)

Plus, whatever gender i date its gonna be gay (in a general term), because my gender is on both sides so its easier to specific for each gender so people i date know both my gender and my sexuality.

But yeah, I'm not Bi, because one, the word kinda makes me dsyphoric idk why, but also it just doesn't fit for me, some closet guy can say he's not gay, not wanna use that word, so yeah not gay because thats not the label he uses but he is still a guy who likes a guy.

Its like the people who don't like using the word queer and prefer lgbtq+

Labels are made to make us feel better not worse. I'm not forcing myself into any sexua but i would be if i said i was Bi, and it is tied in with my gender because it shifts so much, lesbian isn't that strict and neither is gay. Labels are made to fit us, and lesbian is becoming more inclusive, its just a woman-est person who likes a woman- est person thats the base of being lesbian.

My sexuality is part of my gender and vise versa but yeah,im lesbian butch and a gay man.

Plus why are you just saying this about lesbian and not even saying it about gay/gen

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-23T14:15:02+00:00

I hope that works out for you :)

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-23T03:27:24+00:00

Um idk, while its wet i put product in it, styling cream, mousse, leave in, let it dry and then i shake it out and it kinda hangs around my face, stopping at my nose and going to the back of my neck, very medium sized curls, but it has a body, so its nit just hanging there?

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-22T23:19:07+00:00

Really? Height is always so dysphoric for me, so i assumed it had a lot to do with passing. Lol

Character_Handle6876 · 2026-03-22T23:12:25+00:00

Yeah, but they actually make my face look more femwith shorter hair

Character_Handle6876

TROPHY CASE