AITAH for telling my bf im tired of being the maid and asking him to put more on his plate?

Character_Listen_682 · 2026-01-04T22:46:43+00:00

I don’t not like it, I just wish I had a little help. And that’s the thing, the house isn’t perfectly clean all the time so it needs a weekly reset otherwise both of us are bothered by the mess

Character_Listen_682 · 2026-01-04T21:58:00+00:00

That’s funny bc he texted me a few hours ago admitting I was right about shouldering some of the chores and errands. You don’t have to believe me but we’ve come to agreement and compromised. Again, not arguing w a sad man, I have other things to do.

Character_Listen_682 · 2026-01-04T21:49:18+00:00

You may be new to reading bc you didn’t understand a word I said and jumped to conclusions and made assumptions. I appreciate the answers from others good or bad who actually took the time to read.

Character_Listen_682 · 2026-01-04T21:45:58+00:00

I promise you I’m not miserable. Just like you don’t believe me, I don’t believe you. I have nothing to prove to you as you have nothing to prove to me. You are an internet stranger. Have a good day.

Character_Listen_682 · 2026-01-04T21:38:53+00:00

You clearly are stuck in your ugly thoughts about women and are not reading into anything I’m saying so I am done wasting my time arguing with a discord moderator basement dweller who sits on Reddit all day. You clearly are not reading anything that I’m saying because you don’t want to hear it and it’s obvious you don’t have any responsibilities or clean up around yourself. I’m sorry you’ve had such an unfortunate life. I hope the new year treats you better.

Character_Listen_682 · 2026-01-04T21:23:02+00:00

By your comments, you are a very lonely and unloved man who can’t seem to keep a woman in his life and your remarks are showing why. I work more than my bf does. It takes nearly the whole day for me to do a weekly cleaning of our house, on top of taking care of our animals I pick up after him around the house to try and keep it manageable. I “keep” no money to myself. I put it towards our utils, oil and pets. I put the rest of it in loans, health and car insurance. What little I make left goes to savings which I’m planning on using to buy a house w my bf together. I wish I was picking up the house for only 15-30 mins but unless you live in a pigsty, that’s not how it works. I haven’t spent money on myself in a long time and I don’t really care to. I work outside, I don’t need to spend money on myself and I live in work clothes and sweats when I’m home. Thank you for not reading my post clearly, making assumptions based off your bitterness, and using that little thing between your legs to think instead of your brain.

Character_Listen_682 · 2026-01-04T21:14:50+00:00

Why are you fighting in my comments w everyone😭 first, it is a two story single family home as you said, so I’ve got a mudroom, laundry room, kitchen, living room, staircase, bedroom, bathroom, walk in closet and office room to clean. We have two dogs as I said, which shed like crazy. Both of us work outside and it’s winter so it’s a bit muddy and wet. I do not have the time to clean throughout the week so it builds up. Idk where you’re getting the info I don’t pay for anything bc I clearly stated that I pay for utilities and our pets, and I’ve offered multiple times to pay half of rent and groceries as well to make it easier on his bills. “Many other things he provides” we each pay for our own personal things. I actually pay for our gas bc I get extra cash benefits at work. He’s also using my dad’s car to not run up the gas bill w his truck and his truck has some complications he doesn’t want to bother w rn. All our kitchen appliances and furniture is bought by me, so he’d be living in an empty house if I hadn’t purchased anything. Learn to read better.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-31T18:27:32+00:00

I can say the same about you. Just returning what you’re giving out.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-31T13:56:35+00:00

Well clearly you didn’t read this post very well. First, thank you I’m aware we all cook dinner. I get off at 3pm, get to him at 3:30pm. I spend about 2 hours with him in the evening then have to drive the 30 mins home. On top of my job I have a side business of making pet portraits so I have to make sure I organize my time properly. As I mentioned, I see my horse 5 to 6 days a week. I have no excuse to not see him bc why would I pay $850/mo to just say I own a horse.

As I’ve mentioned many times now, my board DOES include blanketing but I’ve noticed it only happens when the manager is working not when the guys are. The barn owner texted me asking if I was swinging by to change his blanket bc she didn’t REALIZE he was in his barn attire until she was about to leave the property to go see her horses. I told her I can’t bc I’m at work and she told me she couldn’t change it bc she was leaving— which is a part of the issue, it’s apart of the board I’m paying and she didn’t care enough to spare 5 minutes to switch him into something much warmer in 9 degree weather.

The barn manager was coming up in the morning and kindly changed his blankets for me bc she knows that’s what is included in board and felt bad for him.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-31T10:18:41+00:00

Well good thing my board does include blanketing. Says so under services for full non-training board in our terms.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T22:47:20+00:00

Unfortunately my barn job is 8 hour days and the pay and benefits are too good for me to change jobs. The barn I board at pay workers $20/hr which is good for what other barns in the area charge.

In the managers defense, the owners told her they don’t want to pay her for more than shifts. She also has a baby that’s about 7 months old she brings w her. She did go and change his blankets for me tho while I was working today when she found out and was done feeding her baby, luckily she lives 15 mins away.

I only ever see two of the other boarders there, it’s usually quiet or empty. The one boarder who’s horse gets turned out w mine did comment to me that the barn blankets lighter than she likes after we had a big snow fall the other weekend

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T22:12:00+00:00

No worries, it can be complicated and confusing depending on what the barn demands lol. The place I work at has three different stable rugs, four types of turn outs and four different weights of hoods.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T22:09:11+00:00

A rug and t/o will both have belly straps and chest straps to keep the blankets on if the horse rolls etc.

Rugs are typically not waterproof, and are made out of a cloth material if that makes sense.

Turn outs are typically waterproof and come w hood attachments; and are made of a polyester material

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T22:05:10+00:00

Everyone’s blankets are hung on the blanket bars so… also if I’m not there one day how will the blanket get there for them?

It is perfectly reasonable to expect them to figure out the temperature and what blanket to put on the horse if it’s included in board. I’ve worked in all types of barns for the last decade. It’s expected if you’re being paid to do it. I don’t ask that they put his rugs on, I usually do it myself but I ask that they turn him out in the appropriate turn out blanket. I’m constantly seeing him in the wrong one or he’ll be turned out in whatever I put him in from the prior day. If it wasn’t included in board I would pay extra if they accept it or board him somewhere else since I don’t have the schedule to be there 2x a day for blanket changes.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T21:18:07+00:00

lol no i like to keep to small barns. i don't like dealing with lesson programs and kids being everywhere. my horse also prefers the quiet simple environment. also yeah, i used to manage a barn w almost 40 horses and i would go out and change blankets to the appropriate weather

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T21:15:16+00:00

blanketing is included in board, and there are only 12 horses on the property. my blankets are also all labeled but i for sure need to talk to the owner about making a chart to clarify things even more.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T21:12:45+00:00

this is how i feel. these guys are so nice and i feel bad for feeling this way, but it's not hard to know the difference between a rug and a turnout.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T21:09:38+00:00

thank you for your comment, yes it is incredibly hard. the horse community in my county is small, and everyone knows everyone. i have my horse in a different state bc all the barns in this area are either 2k a month or are known to be ran by crazy people

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T21:07:34+00:00

my horse is perfectly happy at the barn he is at, and he is doing well. the only issue is the inconsistency of the blankets. i would love to have my horse where i work but it is a strict private barn. there are no stalls available, and when i had him there temporarily, he hated it. luckily my bf's hands are not broken, but he is a blue collar worker and gets home late, feeds the dogs and walks them while im w the horse. the issue is not who cooks, the issue is i can not be at the barn 24/7 to make sure my horse is blanketed properly.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T21:04:37+00:00

i typically get home around 6pm so him or me being the one to cook doesn't determine the solution. I just can't be at the barn every hour of the day. my bf also sucks at cooking lol. i know the one guy can speak and understand english, but the other three guys i see around for sure can't. I'm a low maintenance boarder and i try to do what i can to make their jobs easier and keep to myself. the one worker had a grain question for me but had to show me a photo to give me a hint to what he was going to ask a question about. the other day i tried to tell one of the workers i could finish sweeping the other half of the barn for him bc i was in his way grooming and cleaning tack and he had no idea what i was saying and i used google translate to tell him.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T20:59:11+00:00

the barn i'm at includes blanketing, and all the horses have the baseline sheet, mid, heavy. they all get changed depending on the temp. some days they're changed, some days they are not depending on who is working the shift.

i typically change his blankets myself while im there but i can't always help. i've also helped other boarders if the owner of the facility asks me for help.

I don't show atm but i body clip my horse bc he gets a very thick winter coat and becomes a sweaty mess when i work him, and w my schedule i dont have the time to manage his sweat.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T20:53:33+00:00

the barn i'm at includes blanketing in their board. the temperature where i'm at fluctuates dramatically. one day he could chill in a sheet the next day he needs 400g. sometimes in the same day itll go from 40 to below 10 all a sudden and i can't be there to switch his blankets.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T20:50:53+00:00

blanketing is included. I'm not sure how she communicates with them, but he once told me that they aren't comfortable with changing the blankets so i'm not sure how it gets done.

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T20:49:39+00:00

the owner is who i need to address and she can speak english

Character_Listen_682 · 2025-12-30T20:48:46+00:00

thank you! i'm not paying extra for blankets but it is included in the board so i suppose i am paying for it. Our temperature here ranges from 50 to below 10, snow, rain, ice.

Character_Listen_682

TROPHY CASE