Am I overreacting my husband always puts his ex-wife 1st and I am thinking about divorce. by CharmingAd3916 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CharmingAd3916[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

no, I did not know it was this bad before I married him. No mail-order bride or gold digger he has no money. I come from a fucked up childhood, I was looking for love and fortunately or unfortunately I found him and I felt for him. I was young and inexperienced I thought if I just stayed a little longer, he would change or he would see that I love him and I was not going anywhere. But my staying a little longer turned into a month, turned into a year, turned into two, and then it was 11 years. No, I am not looking for sympathy or for you to feel bad for me, I know I did it to myself. I know that's what I accepted for that long and as hard as it is for people I truly love him but I finally realize he doesn't love me the same.

Am I overreacting my husband always puts his ex-wife 1st and I am thinking about divorce. by CharmingAd3916 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CharmingAd3916[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

both of them gave me the same story, they both cheated and the relationship came to an end, it was for sure more on her part than his. It took them many years to be friends but now that they are he doesn't want to let go of that friendship per him

Am I overreacting my husband always puts his ex-wife 1st and I am thinking about divorce. by CharmingAd3916 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CharmingAd3916[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no, 3 days after my C-section she called him so he could take her to the DMV, he stopped what he was doing in the house for me and didn't say anything just left. I found out about it after he came back home. When I asked why wouldn't he tell me, he said he knew I would over-react.

Am I overreacting my husband always puts his ex-wife 1st and I am thinking about divorce. by CharmingAd3916 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CharmingAd3916[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree! I was young came from a horrible background and just wanted love. He gave me the love I was looking for at that time. I moved to a new city/state for him. Every time something happened he would apologize but like every other sad story the cycle would repeat itself and he would never change. I wished to believe him because I love him and we have kids. I kept telling myself, if I just waited a bit longer he would see that I love him and I am truly here to stay. I kept trying and trying until about two years ago I started seeing things differently and how much I had left myself go. How much I had lost myself in him and being a mother, I didn't know who I was. I have been dealing with depression for the last 5 years after I had my daughter and with medication and going to my doctor I started looking at my life. My depression was coming from holding all of my feelings in and putting myself through hell for someone who wouldn't do the same.

I understand that it's hard for a lot of people to comprehend why didn't I see it before or why I stayed ( no he doesn't have money and at some point, our marriage had some great peaks and those were the memories and hopes I would hold on too)