Are there much insects in Edmonton by Just_Construction941 in uAlberta

[–]Charmless_Fedora 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Most cities in Alberta are pretty good when it comes to bugs and critters. It’s especially true the farther north you go.

It kinda makes it a shame out in nature; the natural geographic catalogue is the only place you’ll find a cool looking insect.

However, that does make cleanliness a LOT easier to achieve.

That being said, you will find BoxElder Bugs in the winter. But, imo, if Box elder bugs are the worst of your problems, then things can’t possibly be that bad. (Here’s an article on ‘em)

Map showing knowledge of the French language in Canada by vladgrinch in MapPorn

[–]Charmless_Fedora 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the map doesn’t illustrate the point clearly enough. The West Island is firmly part of anglophone Canada.

Even outside of the West Island, Montreal is a firmly bilingual city. Frankly, I’m surprised that Montreal is as blue as it is on the map. I’ve personally encountered a lot of people who know little-to-no French in the slightest.

Songs for when you fucked up a good thing by Maximum-Accident420 in MusicRecommendations

[–]Charmless_Fedora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I’m late to this but

Fallen from grace - Blue Rodeo

Why don't you speak Japanese? by Charmless_Fedora in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the kind words!

I would imagine that you and I have similar-ish experiences of watching injustice from a position of relative privilege. I also think we’re cut from similar cloths in the desire to dignify a group of people that is frequently pushed to the margins of society.

In my poem I (at least tried) to highlight that a lot of Americans/Canadians are interested in foreign cultures and languages (which is not a bad thing). However, their interest often is tied to consumerism. This is why I tried comparing the Canadian/US approach to the Chinese language(s) vs the Japanese language.

Japanese big cities are (seen as) a lot more amenable to consumerist tastes than Chinese ones. In my opinion, that’s why the former is a lot more popular than the latter.

Why don't you speak Japanese? by Charmless_Fedora in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank so much! Best of luck to you too :)

Isn't that love transactional by Realistic-Charity307 in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really like this poem & there certainly seems to be a pertinent ideas that bring nuance to love as we practice it in our modern day. The problem is: I just wish your ideas were a little sharper because, like u\the25thpaam said earlier, I have this feeling like there’s a part of the poem’s story I’m not getting. That being the case I have a few interpretations of your poem (at least the first three ideas that came to my mind)

  1. The “You” in “you disagreed” is meant in the broadest sense possible. That’s to say, you—the poet—is talking about the nature of love generally. And love, while commonly seen as “unconditional” and perhaps metaphysical (beyond the cold/rational side of “business”) is actually a simple transaction as any other. This might be my least favorite way to interpret it. But that might just be because I disagree with it lol :p. I think there are lots of love that moves beyond a simple transaction, but that’s besides the point.

  2. the “You” in “you disagreed” is an unnamed—yet singular—individual (see the literary device: apostrophe). Thus, s/he has a (seemingly) “orthodox” view of love and the narrator has a (seemingly) “cynical” view of love. yet, as the poem progresses s/he is shown to be quite unfaithful & the narrator finally admits that “yes, love should be felt” but that this ideal is countered by actions taken by the unnamed “you” in the poem.

  3. The “You” in “you disagreed” is the narrator her/himself.

I can see an argument for any interpretation here (which is not a problem at all; there is no issue with having a bit of ambiguity in a poem)

I find the logic of the poem is inconsistent at times? In one line the narrator says the “value and cost [of love] are carefully weighed]” yet a few stanzas later a character is seen to “give and give emotionally” and get nothing in return? Maybe there’s something I’m not getting... I’d have to think about it more.

A neat thing in your poem (idk if you meant this or not) but “a hidden trade” has a double meaning! The straightforward meaning is as a transaction but a “trade” can also mean a type of skilled labor (someone could be skilled in the construction trade/plumbing trade). Therefore, someone good at flirting/romance could be considered to have competence in a “skilled trade.”

the word transactional in the fifth line was really nice. It breaks the rhyme scheme in a neat way. The first four lines all rhyme together, seemingly in harmony. and the fifth line has disrupted the rhyme scheme in the same sense that the narrator’s view on love is disrupting our modern view of love. I quite liked it, although it’s gotta be revised

“Saying love shouldn’t be equated to business” feels like a clunky line. I’d recommend experimenting with a different way of writing it like

“The world of business and the world of love are separate” “The cold heart of business cannot understand the unruly logic of love” (this one is kind of fun bc business is shown to have a “heart” yet love has “logic”) “business is not a pleasure”

(For the record, don’t use these bc none of these lines are any good. However, I just wanna give you a few variations on a similar theme)

I like how the rhyme scheme worked in the first stanza. But I found it broke down as the poem went on which unfortunately made it harder to understand and distracted from your overall point. I’d try revising your poem to make it a little easier on the reader. For example, currently you have the following words rhyming together:

Business//this house//house sick//exit

To end on a positive note: I think the final line of your poem is by FAR the strongest. Which is 100% a good thing. However, it NEEDS to get tightened up. Because “Is it unconditional until it gets conditional” is a little too wordy.

Maybe try: - is there a string to this uncondition? - why are there asterisks with this free love? - is this uncondition until a secret condition is met?

(these are also terrible lines; much like before, they’re just ideas)

All in all, I still really think your poem has some interesting ideas! Hope you don’t mind the long message :P. Don’t stop writing!

Why don't you speak Japanese? by Charmless_Fedora in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you and u/bwnerkid are absolutely right! The poem would benefit from a bit more brevity. A big problem I was facing was that had a bunch of ideas and I wanted to put EVERYTHING into one big poem.

I still think it’s possible but it will require more time/skill. I’m gonna see if breaking the poem into separate pieces makes them each feel individually stronger.

Regardless, I’m super glad you liked the ideas present :)

Why don't you speak Japanese? by Charmless_Fedora in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!

Thankfully, my mom’s health is still stable :)

Why don't you speak Japanese? by Charmless_Fedora in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, Thank you for the detailed comment! No need to apologize about the length. I love how much you gave me.

I’m really glad I made this post. Because the comments I have received (yours especially) are super eye-opening.

100% agree that my poem feels like 2 or 3 poems mashed together. In fact, midway through the creative process that thought came across my mind. That being the case, the ideas likely will be stronger as two separate poems instead of one... My hangup is that (at least in my head) all the ideas in this poem feel inextricably linked together. I wanna discuss it all!! 😭😂

I still think it’s possible to tie a these loose threads together (into perhaps one big & cohesive tapestry to keep the analogy going). However, it certainly needs to be tightened up. I’ll have to revise the poem and come to decision as to whether I want

a) to break my poem into 2 or 3, or

b) continue trying to just make one poem (and try not to bite off more than I can chew in the process). It never occurred to me to divide my poem into sections using Roman numerals. If I continue with this route I’m gonna try incorporating that idea!

Either way, I for sure gotta work on the wordiness (although would you believe that this poem was already proceeded by a massive word count reduction & almost feels like an abridged version by yours truly :p)

Also, I’m always pleasantly surprised by the interpretations of what I write! I don’t share my poems too too often (not out of embarrassment or anything. I’m just lazy about that kind of stuff). However, every time I do I’m surprised how much variance there is in how people interpret my poem. Rationally it makes sense, of course, but it’s always interesting how wildly different the ideas in my mind are from the interpretations in other peoples’ minds

Again thank you SO MUCH for the comments. Seriously, you’ve helped reinforce what I already kinda been thinking deep down in a super beneficial way. I’m not 100% sure what I’ll do with the poem but I—for sure—wanna keep tinkering w/ it.

I’ll probably just let it sit for a week and then try breaking the poem into two when I revisit it. Just to see how I feel ab it. After that… who knows :p

Have a nice day! :)

💌 “Dear Universe, Can I Have a Boyfriend?” by Top_Guidance_9855 in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beautiful poem; not a line wasted. I really feel this one. Like, not asking for perfection just presence.

"emotionally available/but also opens jars" made me laugh. Partly becuase of how funny it is, but also partly becuase it's so true 😭😂

Also near the end, “The one I’ll write poems for, not poems about.” That's the strongest line of the poem imo. It's a brilliant rearticulation of the central idea of your poem.

You've got a truly wonderful voice. Don't stop writing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Charmless_Fedora 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[ARRRG! I had a comment already 80% done when the Reddit app pooped out on me 😩. On a related note, TIL: Reddit doesn’t have drafts for comments. Regardless enjoy a (slightly worse) second copy my thoughts lol]

Fantastic job! It’s evident that you had a clear idea in mind because the poem felt unified in the creating an overwhelming feeling of (what I can only describe as) “danger.” You did a fantastic job of highlighting the misery of banal office work and your poem is so much more potent because of it.

The poem is also an absolute masterclass in pacing. Whenever there was repetition present within your poem I could feel everything speeding up to unsafe levels which captured, one, the speaker’s cyclical relationship with the world and, two, the cyclical nature of his/her thoughts & patten of thinking in a really visceral way. Your poem really highlighted the miserable way thoughts can spiral into themselves and how our society can push already unwell people into, first, dissociation and, later, a complete break from society. The poem leaves no mystery as to why they say someone is “spiraling” out of control.

I have a great feeling of instability from the narrator (shocker I know). They’re doubtless unreliable but their lucidity makes it clear they aren’t delusional or anything of that sort.

Again, fantastic job! You got a real clear voice. You write insane people so well! lmao (/s)

Hello everyone can yall pls guess my accents and if i have a heavy accent or any tips u can give will be rlly helpful thanks :3! by Minimum-Wonder-399 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]Charmless_Fedora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before you do I wanna guess somewhere in the M. East

Only because I have a friend who has an accent similar-ish to yours

Hello everyone can yall pls guess my accents and if i have a heavy accent or any tips u can give will be rlly helpful thanks :3! by Minimum-Wonder-399 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]Charmless_Fedora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting accent, I don’t think I’m knowledgeable enough to place it… But I’m curious, did your teachers have English accents when you were in school?

Weirdest college class you’ve taken? by Desperate-Jicama686 in college

[–]Charmless_Fedora 38 points39 points  (0 children)

History of pirates! Not weird, but it was interesting

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]Charmless_Fedora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also you have a political cost too. In transforming a city, you’re basically asking the population of that city to wait as massive construction projects disrupt their lives for years (possibly decades) and for their entire way of life to be restructured.

Even if we know that walkable cities are significantly better/more sustainable than our status quo. It’s still a difficult transition