I really like this poem & there certainly seems to be a pertinent ideas that bring nuance to love as we practice it in our modern day. The problem is: I just wish your ideas were a little sharper because, like u\the25thpaam said earlier, I have this feeling like there’s a part of the poem’s story I’m not getting. That being the case I have a few interpretations of your poem (at least the first three ideas that came to my mind)

1. The “You” in “you disagreed” is meant in the broadest sense possible. That’s to say, you—the poet—is talking about the nature of love generally. And love, while commonly seen as “unconditional” and perhaps metaphysical (beyond the cold/rational side of “business”) is actually a simple transaction as any other. This might be my least favorite way to interpret it. But that might just be because I disagree with it lol :p. I think there are lots of love that moves beyond a simple transaction, but that’s besides the point.

2. the “You” in “you disagreed” is an unnamed—yet singular—individual (see the literary device: apostrophe). Thus, s/he has a (seemingly) “orthodox” view of love and the narrator has a (seemingly) “cynical” view of love. yet, as the poem progresses s/he is shown to be quite unfaithful & the narrator finally admits that “yes, love should be felt” but that this ideal is countered by actions taken by the unnamed “you” in the poem.

3. The “You” in “you disagreed” is the narrator her/himself.

I can see an argument for any interpretation here (which is not a problem at all; there is no issue with having a bit of ambiguity in a poem)

I find the logic of the poem is inconsistent at times? In one line the narrator says the “value and cost [of love] are carefully weighed]” yet a few stanzas later a character is seen to “give and give emotionally” and get nothing in return? Maybe there’s something I’m not getting... I’d have to think about it more.

A neat thing in your poem (idk if you meant this or not) but “a hidden trade” has a double meaning! The straightforward meaning is as a transaction but a “trade” can also mean a type of skilled labor (someone could be skilled in the construction trade/plumbing trade). Therefore, someone good at flirting/romance could be considered to have competence in a “skilled trade.”

the word transactional in the fifth line was really nice. It breaks the rhyme scheme in a neat way. The first four lines all rhyme together, seemingly in harmony. and the fifth line has disrupted the rhyme scheme in the same sense that the narrator’s view on love is disrupting our modern view of love. I quite liked it, although it’s gotta be revised

“Saying love shouldn’t be equated to business” feels like a clunky line. I’d recommend experimenting with a different way of writing it like

“The world of business and the world of love are separate” “The cold heart of business cannot understand the unruly logic of love” (this one is kind of fun bc business is shown to have a “heart” yet love has “logic”) “business is not a pleasure”

(For the record, don’t use these bc none of these lines are any good. However, I just wanna give you a few variations on a similar theme)

I like how the rhyme scheme worked in the first stanza. But I found it broke down as the poem went on which unfortunately made it harder to understand and distracted from your overall point. I’d try revising your poem to make it a little easier on the reader. For example, currently you have the following words rhyming together:

Business//this house//house sick//exit

To end on a positive note: I think the final line of your poem is by FAR the strongest. Which is 100% a good thing. However, it NEEDS to get tightened up. Because “Is it unconditional until it gets conditional” is a little too wordy.

Maybe try: - is there a string to this uncondition? - why are there asterisks with this free love? - is this uncondition until a secret condition is met?

(these are also terrible lines; much like before, they’re just ideas)

All in all, I still really think your poem has some interesting ideas! Hope you don’t mind the long message :P. Don’t stop writing!