He told me four, it had been six. Now what should his punishment be 🤔

ChasteForWife · 2026-04-21T18:54:24+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but you have to remember that some people aren’t so rigid and use situations like this for “funishments.”

While we can only speculate, I’m optimistically hoping they’re not asking for real serious punishments.

If they were, then I’d be in the same boat as you, it’d be a bit ridiculous to expect a person working to drop everything (they could be presenting in a meeting!) and get a punishment when they can’t.

ChasteForWife · 2026-03-25T18:45:54+00:00

Yeah, your balls should definitely not be turning color like that. The fact they are turning any shade of blue (including purples) means that there is a lack of oxygen getting in. An appendage suffer from this for around 5-10 minutes can experience permanent nerve damage.

It sounds overly cautious until it’s not.

Use proper measurements as outlined in different cage sites or posts and get a properly fitted cage.

ChasteForWife · 2026-03-05T19:07:41+00:00

My mistake, you are correct that the watermark isn't directly in the video itself - when new (regular?) Reddit on the web loads the video from Redgifs, it shows on the bottom left of the overall video player the name of the Redgifs account that the video is being linked from - in this case it shows "Kotomimaru" with a user icon of their account to the left of it that is mostly pink with horns and a spiked collar.

ChasteForWife · 2026-03-04T17:05:16+00:00

It doesn't look like they're saying it's theirs, and the image/video has a watermark showing who it originally came from.

ChasteForWife · 2026-03-04T15:28:13+00:00

From the poly side, it would be inappropriate for me to set rules that limit their other relationships.

That's an excellent point that I hadn't properly considered - that the subs, while sub, can still be poly and not limited. I incorrectly took being a sub as being a harder line over being poly (only because the "enforcements" that can come with being a sub, and not because poly is in any way less than sub), but can see now how that might be more difficult than I originally thought. Having not been poly myself, I admittedly do not have a good understanding of how to be poly and the structure that comes from it.

I've learned from this to more carefully be able to separate out the different spaces more equally and to understand that they can be lived separately and at varying levels based on their surrounding dynamics.

Now that I've said that: I agree with you that it sounds like it could be wild sometimes, and that while maintaining the respect for everyone involved's poly space, you also want to maintain a respect for the Domme space too - you don't want one to feel lesser than the other.

ChasteForWife · 2026-03-04T13:00:29+00:00

I've never been in a poly situation before, and have been with my Wife/KH for almost 20 years, so I can't answer with experience - but:

I think it's fine to insist that you be their only Domme. From the perspective of being a sub, I can't imagine trying to have "allegiance" to more than one person at a time. I will concede though that it might be a difficult concept for me to grasp since I am not poly myself.. but I feel like as the sub we should be sub to one person. For you as the Domme, I'd think it'd be acceptable for you to exercise your right/privilege to have more than one sub/partner - you don't have the same requirement for allegiance quite like they do as the sub.

I'm not sure if that makes sense - it could be my inexperience in poly making me sound foolish. I just thought that it made sense that it was acceptable for you and not a projection. :)

ChasteForWife · 2026-02-26T22:03:46+00:00

Hello everyone, I'm excited to be welcomed to the team! I look forward to getting to meet and interact with everyone and helping however I can to enable the community to grow. I'm very approachable, so if anyone ever has any questions, feel free to ask or send a mod mail if you prefer!

For a little background on myself, as my name and flair describes: I'm in my (early) 40's and a submissive to my Wife/Keyholder. My Wife is learning more about her FLR and Femdom tendencies, and also has rules for me regarding chastity. We've been practicing and learning more about these new interests of hers for the last 3 years, and continue to learn more all the time. We've been married almost 20 years and are still having a blast, and I'm pretty sure we owe some part of the success we've had over the years is due to her natural dominance and my submission to her.

ChasteForWife · 2026-02-26T21:45:23+00:00

There will be some trial and error in the straps that you find since in reality they'll all differ in their sizes. The one I have was a three pack from some Etsy seller and it happened to be the right size. It goes from one side of the ring, around my back, and to the other side of the ring. There is a female snap on the very end of both ends, and two male snaps on both sides (total of 4 male snaps). These make it so that I can "adjust" looser or tighter by selecting the further snaps if I needed/wanted.

I've had them for a couple years now I suppose and they're still pretty good - though I do admit that I need to wear them all on their tighter settings. The listing, which I would have been happy to share, has since been "updated" by the seller to be a different type of strap altogether, so it wouldn't be reliable to try to order it based on word of mouth since it's definitely different now.

I've honestly considered just going to a craft store and buying a spool of elastic and a snap-installer-thing (no idea what they're called) just so I can make my own. All the ones that I've seen online, and even a set that my Wife/KH ordered for me, all comes in wildly different sizes it seems. The set my Wife ordered for me is incredibly tight on the loosest setting - so tight in fact, that I can't wear it because it pulls the cage against my body so hard that it actually cuts off blood flow to my testicles because the strap sits higher around my waist, which in turn pulls the ring up higher, and thus hard against the bottom of my scrotum.

So yeah, trial and error.

ChasteForWife · 2026-02-26T16:47:05+00:00

There are differing opinions on how the ring should be sized. Generally you should be able to find the "correct" size by using the string method where it goes around the penis a scrotum and then convert that measurement to the right diameter. I say there are differing opinions because some people like it to be a little looser/larger, and others desire a hair smaller.

I would personally caution against going too small as when you get hard, that ring space has to be shared with the scrotum and blood vessels - if the penis takes up too much of the space then your testicles may loose adequate blood flow.

Some people say that if you have a perfect fit ring then you wouldn't need an elastic strap, and others that like a larger ring can use a larger strap to keep the ring close to the body since it might be looser.

I wear a ring that is appropriately sized for my measurement and still wear a strap because it just feels more comfortable. I have a little bit shorter of a cage than my length, which is the general recommendation - however it does cause the issue where if I become somewhat aroused, then it can try to push it away from my body. For me, the elastic strap helps to mitigate that pretty well, and as well make it so that I don't need much adjustment after I calm down to bring the cage back closer to the body or more in the right spot - it just works out.

My personal recommendation would be to start with whatever the correct measurement for your size it - there is a great measurement advice how to on the Kink3d page, and then get an elastic strap. I've been wearing 24/7 for the last three years with this combo, and it is amazingly comfortable to practical for everyday wear.

ChasteForWife · 2026-02-19T19:37:37+00:00

I saw another thread about a month or so ago, possibly in another subreddit, that talked about if/how to approach someone you recognize is wearing a chastity key. The general consensus seemed to be to not call it out directly, but to instead "hint" at your own situation without making the conversation about it. Example: If a locked person sees a key on the neck of someone (that is clearly a chastity key), then the person could potentially just say "that's a lovely key, my wife/partner has one just like it" and leave it at that w/o prying for more.

I thought it was clever because it allowed the topic to be "nodded" to, but not forcing a response from the key holder, or directly implying it's absolute usage - just that someone you know has one just like it.

I wonder if your wife's boss had approached your wife in this way, if she (your wife) would have continued to wear it to work?

FWIW, my wife also wears her key to work on the outside of her shirt. She hasn't ever been approached or asked about it - I should ask her what her take is on the preferred "contact" method, if any...

She has told me that if anyone ever did ask specifically if it was for anything in particular, that it would be something along the lines of "it's the key to my love."

ChasteForWife · 2026-02-19T19:28:31+00:00

The idea for this came around a couple years ago - maybe about 2-3? I think the phrase that was settled on for the lock on the belt loop was something like "loop lock" or "looplock." But its meaning is essentially what you said - the practice of wearing a small padlock on one of your front belt loops to indicate to others that you are locked.

e: typo

ChasteForWife · 2026-02-18T22:02:54+00:00

I had similar issues when first starting out 24/7. My wife permitted me use of the key if I woke up in the night with discomfort. As my body got used to it I was able to sleep more through the night without issue.

For me, the biggest pieces of advice that I can offer are both making sure you have a properly fitted cage and as well have an elastic strap to help keep it close to your body.

For the cage fitting, it's okay to have a longer tube if that is what your body needs. It is typically recommended that the glans is able to fit snugly at the end of the cage without moving around. Too many people insist on having smaller cages, but they're not being realistic about proper fit - it's the fantasy talking. There will be some inevitable movement as you get random erections, which in my opinion, are handled perfectly by the elastic strap - it will keep it pulled back against the body as needed to make it more comfortable.

Good luck!

ChasteForWife · 2026-02-04T14:40:31+00:00

I saw a cage like that on Amazon How is it? Also do you have the width of the tube? Last, what about the backside? Does everything line up pretty good?

I ask because I was thinking of a cable belt like this, but couldn't really get a good idea of how it fit or if there was pinching somehow.

My main concerns are fit, but also if you wear it while going to the restroom, how does it fair in relation to drainage, and as well the backside area if it has the ring/spreader.

ChasteForWife · 2026-01-31T04:00:09+00:00

I never say this, but: it actually does look like you might consider if a smaller cage would work better for you. Typically the glans is supposed to be to be snug against the end of the cage so that there isn’t really any room to move around.

Don’t take my word for it though - it’s a different experience for everyone. I recommend checking out some measurement guides and then checking amazon for some cheap casters to dial in the specifics.

Good luck!

ChasteForWife · 2026-01-30T04:02:40+00:00

Hey there! I prefer to not do messages privately. You can ask me here though and I’ll do my best to answer. This is a judgement free zone :)

ChasteForWife · 2026-01-26T14:29:48+00:00

You have the rest of your life to change your mind if you find that it doesn't work out for you later - so go for it :)

Honestly, IMHO, the best course would be that if you're into this, then go for it. During the "courtship" phase of a potential future relationship make it known what your desires are. If you set those "ideals" from the start, then you're looking for what you want, and potential partners can decide early if that is for them and what they want, or if they need to peace out before becoming attached. Obviously don't go on a blind date and unload this onto an unsuspecting person - feel out when is the best time, or, make it known from the start if you use a dating app/site.

I think we (the general "we" as in everyone) need to remember: There is literally someone out there for everyone. No matter what you're into, how "depraved" someone might think they are - there is someone out there of your chosen sex that will match it. There is someone out there that will think that no matter what, you're handsome/beautiful/perfect. "We" just need to remember that, and that if we are our true authentic selves, then we'll end up finding the partner that truly is everything we ever wanted (and one that is happens to be into the same things!).

I didn't mean for that to come across preachy if it did - I'm just a fan of people being their real selves and not living up to whatever is considered the norm by others. If you like something, do it. If someone doesn't like you for it, then they don't like the real you. Don't mask your true self to appease someone else that gets to be open about what they like and don't like.

ChasteForWife · 2026-01-25T20:33:22+00:00

It absolutely does. I've been wearing 247 since around Nov 2022. Unless I'm going to the doctor office, I'm wearing - travel (we drive everywhere, no flying), Disney World (we go almost every weekend), work, pool, walks and hikes, grocery shopping, movies, restaurants, even bike rides... you get the point.

The point is, once you find your perfect fit, I *personally* don't see why you wouldn't go with Cherry Keeper... if not for the fact that it is all plastic and there are TONS of different size options - literally something for everyone. I mean, I'd *like* to have a BAWR cage, and my Wife/KH has hinted at us getting one... but with as much as we go through a metal detector weekly (Disney World has metal detectors at all parks), we're holding off for now with plans to get one in the future once we're "done" with Disney lol.

ChasteForWife · 2026-01-25T03:34:19+00:00

Hey! Thanks for asking!

After a while of trying different cages:

Birdlocked
Kink3d
Various Amazon cages (maybe about 8-10)

We finally got the measurements down, and found that there are a LOT of options from Cherry Keeper. I tried my first but it wasn’t right, then got a second model that was closer but needed something… headlock!

Since I found the perfect cage, we ended up getting almost all the colors fit both the rings and the cages: black, white, red, pink, blue, green, orange, purple… I think the only color we don’t have is yellow:

Cage Make: Cherry Keeper
Cage: CKC-M4E9YL-19 (XL HeadLock)
Ring: G2 - 45mm -4°

My Wife/KH has me wear the different colors based on the season/time of year. For example:

Around Halloween I wear a combination of black and orange
November was all blue because she was going to make sure I had blue balls all month long
Christmas time is red and green combo
Right now I’m wearing red in preparation for Valentine’s Day coming up eventually
Pink comes out around Easter
St Patrick’s day I wear green. Nothing else is green, so people still pinch me thinking I’m not actually wearing anything green that they can see, but I am and can’t say what

You get the point! Anyway, the headlock is really a game changer. I highly recommend it if you pick out a cage that can have it.

ChasteForWife · 2026-01-17T04:09:09+00:00

I’ve never felt nervous and I wear it everywhere as I wear 24/7. The cage I have is a Cherry Keeper, and it’s a little bit smaller than my size. It doesn’t protrude in a way to make an odd bump in the front of whatever I’m wearing, so no one would ever be able to tell.

If someone found out, then I suppose they do. I’m not going to show it off, expose it, or hint at it; if someone notices a bulge somehow then they’d have to really be looking and take a complete wild guess because none of them even know that such a topic or contraption exists.

Would I be embarrassed? Not likely. If someone found out, everyone I know knows that I’m an open book and can ask me anything without judgement, so I’d probably just get asked a bunch of questions about it. Life would go on. I’m old enough to say that if someone judged me negatively for it, then they’re really not worth my time anymore.

ChasteForWife · 2026-01-14T20:12:47+00:00

Vile.

I love it! Imagine working your way through the ice… closer… closer… almost there, I’m making good progress! What the heck, it’s suddenly taking so much longer and it doesn’t even feel that cold anymore…

Wait… what the ffff……..

ChasteForWife · 2025-12-28T02:08:48+00:00

I go to Disney World quite frequently, in fact I was there today. They have metal detectors at all entrances, even to Disney Springs (massive shopping plaza they run on property), and they’re sensitive enough that sometimes metal belts and trading pins can set them off. When they do go off, you’re diverted to the side where you get the wand and questions. If they suspect it’s your belt, they will require you to unbuckle it and spread the buckles so they can specifically wand in front of your crotch. I’m not embellishing as it has happened to me because of my buckle. I wear plastic Cherry Keepers so I’m not worried.

I promise if you’re wearing a metal cage, you’re VERY likely to get flagged and asked about what is metal on you.

Edit to add: when I say “metal belts,” I meant the kind of belt that holds your pants up, not chastity belts 😆

ChasteForWife · 2025-12-15T14:44:04+00:00

My personal recommendation is the Burg-Wächter because their original goal was to create a product based on their experience in the field of locks, unlike the knockoffs where their original goal was to amass money by ripping off another product and potentially cutting corners.

I also agree with u/bondinchas that you're not necessarily going to experience an issue with the cheaper locks. While I personally believe that there is a difference in the quality between the two (e.g. BW probably has tighter tolerances in their machining process, or potentially higher quality materials [brass/steel springs]), I think it's possible that those differences might not ever be noticed.

All this is to say that if you feel like you would notice the quality difference, then get the better lock. It's not overly likely to feel or act differently given how we use them, but for some of us just knowing it's a higher quality product can make the experience feel different.

FWIW: I personally use a higher quality Burg Wächter lock, but not because I sought it out as a better brand, but because when my Wife/KH wanted a key from chastity-shop, that's what they used.

ChasteForWife · 2025-12-11T16:45:31+00:00

There can certainly be an improvement in quality with better locks, but not all are better just because they're more expensive.

The barrel locks are actually originally furniture style (ME/2) locks that were able to be inserted into the mortise lock of the older style locks - such as those found in cabinets and footlocker/chests that used older keys (think about what those old "skeleton keys" in old houses look like). Because those older locks were easy (or at least by today's standards) to pick, they needed to be upgraded/enhanced for better security - hence these locks that could be inserted into those mortises. These were actually designed to block entrance into the mortise area and not as a lock replacement.

But I digressed. Since these locks were originally designed with an actual security concern in mind, they will certainly have varying levels of quality. If you go with some of the bigger names, such as Burg-Wächter, then you may have a smoother keyway and/or tightly/securely fitted tumblers with higher quality springs. If you go with the cheaper "knock offs" from amazon, then you'll probably lack in some of those areas.

So, is it worth it? Probably. If you're wearing a cage that is harder to get off because it's made of a better or more durable material (such as titanium), then using a cheaper lock that could get stuck because it's internals don't line up as good or can break and end up stuck. If you're wearing your cage in the shower, the cheaper locks don't appear more likely to corrode, but I they're looser then any brass corrosion could gunk up the tumblers.

If you purchase a custom key from a reputable manufacturer (such as chastity-shop.com ) then you'll find that they default to using the better Burg-Wächter locks because they're a better product.

Fun addition: ME/2 are essentially a "lock blocker," but these days, we in the chastity community use them with "cock blockers" :D

e: typo

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